I thought I might share some facts on living together in CR:
- "Common Law" marriage is real in CR. If you live with her "publicly and continuously" for three years you are married. If you decide to live with a woman I would advise you to keep paying for her little apartment (are you living with her "publicly" if she still has her own place?). At least keep track of when she moved in, with records, and any breaks in the relationship.
- "Violencia Domestica": At any time, she can decide to call the policia and have you removed for violencia domestica. You can be in violation of this law for yelling at her, calling her names, threatening body language (like moving quickly toward her when angry), raising a hand (whether you touch her or not), violence to inanimate objects, etc.. Basically, anything that makes her feel that her personal safety might be in jeopardy will do. In other words, if you are not in a coma, you have probably committed violencia domestica in some form. Here are some things I learned:
-- Jorge, the very nice professional police officer I...er...met told me that the person who calls the police is the victim. I would advise that you call the police immediately if she starts to threaten to call and you believe that she is at all serious. In my case, if I had called the police when she slapped me that final morning I would have been in the driver's seat instead of in the back of paddy-wagon #924...
--If she calls and you are charged, she has the right to remain at the address for up to six months (the length of the restraining order). If you go near her or your property there is a good chance that you will spend those six months rent-free in the CR pokey.
--While she may occupy the property, you are not obligated to pay her rent. In my case, my lease was fulfilled so I was renting month-to-month. I told her that she would have to sign a lease and pay rent starting less than two weeks from the time I departed. This was repeated to her by my atty and the landlord and she agreed to move out. This can be sticky if you are buying property unless you are willing to default. If you are leasing and the lease agreement is not fulfilled you must continue to pay rent or default on the lease and let the property owner sue you for rent. Depending on your relationship with the landlord, this can be easy or difficult and expensive.
-- Your property: When arrested, you will be taken back to the residence to retrieve "personal items". This can include your personal computer if it is necessary for your personal business. In order to retrieve the rest of your stuff, about $10,000 worth in my case, I would need to provide a list of property to the court and have the court order the return of that property. Two problems: (1) You must be able to prove that the property is yours, not owned jointly, so save those receipts and take them with you when you retrieve personal items. They are no good to you locked in the apt with her, and (2) The property may not be in the same condition as it was when you left it. Trying to get anything from her for damage to your property...well, you probably have a better chance of finding the Lost Dutchman mine.
In my case, after a couple of weeks of talking, I was finally able to get her to leave the apt and my property, for the most part. I paid first and last on her new digs ($1000). She did no damage to my property (mainly because I kept our communications to text messages, avoiding angry verbal exchanges). She took some very personal items but I was able to retrieve those by suggesting a trade for the clothes that she foolishly left. In all, I'm out another $1000 I paid to support her this month, awaiting the hearing on the restraining order. I don't want her angry while the restraining order is in effect: She could easily have me arrested just because she is angry and feeling powerless. I don't want to tempt fate.
Hope this helps someone...
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