Living Together and the Law

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 10:43 am

I thought I might share some facts on living together in CR:

- "Common Law" marriage is real in CR. If you live with her "publicly and continuously" for three years you are married. If you decide to live with a woman I would advise you to keep paying for her little apartment (are you living with her "publicly" if she still has her own place?). At least keep track of when she moved in, with records, and any breaks in the relationship.

- "Violencia Domestica": At any time, she can decide to call the policia and have you removed for violencia domestica. You can be in violation of this law for yelling at her, calling her names, threatening body language (like moving quickly toward her when angry), raising a hand (whether you touch her or not), violence to inanimate objects, etc.. Basically, anything that makes her feel that her personal safety might be in jeopardy will do. In other words, if you are not in a coma, you have probably committed violencia domestica in some form. Here are some things I learned:

-- Jorge, the very nice professional police officer I...er...met told me that the person who calls the police is the victim. I would advise that you call the police immediately if she starts to threaten to call and you believe that she is at all serious. In my case, if I had called the police when she slapped me that final morning I would have been in the driver's seat instead of in the back of paddy-wagon #924...

--If she calls and you are charged, she has the right to remain at the address for up to six months (the length of the restraining order). If you go near her or your property there is a good chance that you will spend those six months rent-free in the CR pokey.

--While she may occupy the property, you are not obligated to pay her rent. In my case, my lease was fulfilled so I was renting month-to-month. I told her that she would have to sign a lease and pay rent starting less than two weeks from the time I departed. This was repeated to her by my atty and the landlord and she agreed to move out. This can be sticky if you are buying property unless you are willing to default. If you are leasing and the lease agreement is not fulfilled you must continue to pay rent or default on the lease and let the property owner sue you for rent. Depending on your relationship with the landlord, this can be easy or difficult and expensive.

-- Your property: When arrested, you will be taken back to the residence to retrieve "personal items". This can include your personal computer if it is necessary for your personal business. In order to retrieve the rest of your stuff, about $10,000 worth in my case, I would need to provide a list of property to the court and have the court order the return of that property. Two problems: (1) You must be able to prove that the property is yours, not owned jointly, so save those receipts and take them with you when you retrieve personal items. They are no good to you locked in the apt with her, and (2) The property may not be in the same condition as it was when you left it. Trying to get anything from her for damage to your property...well, you probably have a better chance of finding the Lost Dutchman mine.

In my case, after a couple of weeks of talking, I was finally able to get her to leave the apt and my property, for the most part. I paid first and last on her new digs ($1000). She did no damage to my property (mainly because I kept our communications to text messages, avoiding angry verbal exchanges). She took some very personal items but I was able to retrieve those by suggesting a trade for the clothes that she foolishly left. In all, I'm out another $1000 I paid to support her this month, awaiting the hearing on the restraining order. I don't want her angry while the restraining order is in effect: She could easily have me arrested just because she is angry and feeling powerless. I don't want to tempt fate.

Hope this helps someone...

Del Rey Dave · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:46 am

Sorry to hear you had to go through all of that.

TimBones · **Posted:** Thu Oct 21, 2010 12:16 pm

Yes, sorry to hear about this event. Most of the points have been discussed before when that domestic violence law was first passed, but this is the 1st official example of its impact that I remember. Based on that law, I would definitely not ever agree to share a domicile with a Tica. In fact, regarding living in a foreign country, I would take the same tact as Robert Deniro did in Heat; keep nothing in your life that you aren't willing to walk away from the moment the heat is on. Luckily, no actual or real property was involved. Good luck dude!!

Juilliano · **Posted:** Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:31 am

WOW...sorry to hear that my friend. At least it wasn't as bad as it could have been. Best of luck on your court date.

Berk2302 · **Joined:** Sat Aug 28, 2004 6:55 am **Posts:** 2171

http://costaricaticas.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=14468&p=399173#p399173 :idea:

Berk......

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Sat Oct 23, 2010 10:56 am

Gee, thanks Berk....however my "novia" was nothing but my little girl's Momma for more than two years while I was with her. I don't know how your one-note-tune applies unless you are just trying to be offensive...

Maximus62 · **Joined:** Wed May 28, 2008 9:00 pm **Posts:** 265

Pacifica55 wrote:

Gee, thanks Berk....however my "novia" was nothing but my little girl's Momma for more than two years while I was with her. I don't know how your one-note-tune applies unless you are just trying to be offensive...

I hope you had a paternity test on your little girl. A little known fact is 1 out of 7 Ch*ldren born is the U.S the father is not the biological parent. Probably way higher in Costa Rica if you are a Gringo.

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

I'm sorry to hear about this. I don't even know you, so i cannot comment on what you should be thinking about. However, there is a long list... too long... of guys with similar stories. In most cases, I side with the guy. In some cases, I suspect the guy is full of shit, and side with the gal.

In either case, I will reiterate 1) Dating hookers is bad idea. Keep them as rentals. Nothing more than sex providers that cost money. 2) Taking it beyond that is even worse. I dabbled with them. If you are in a relationship with one, look in the mirror. Then, figure out quickly an easy way out. Look at my posts - I surprised one by having her belongings in plastic bags on the sidewalk as she came home. Its a rough message, but it clearly ended that, and I never had to put up with her shit ever again. You have to toughen up down here.

On the upside, they aren't all bad in CR. There is a small percent that make good partners. They sure as phuck aint' in the gulch. You have to take risk, learn spanish and be patient. Over the years in CR, I watched and listened. Then, I made it my objective...that if I was going to spend any time in CR, I WOULD STAY THE PHUCK AWAY FROM poor girls in San Jose.

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Final thought is the real victim in this case, which is the Ch*ld. If you haven 't done so, you need to go to the embassy and get a birth abroad packet. It explains everything that needs to get done to make you the official father, get her a US birth certificate, passport and social security card. This requires a DNA test and the mommy can be forced legally into this. I did it for my two boys for tax purposes mostly. They have a good mommy and she was very supportive of this. On your side, this can help the K*D greatly as she will have an oppty to live in the states one day... maybe even with you (and maybe even without her). The law sides heavily with the women in CR for custody. However, I know personally one gringo that DID JUST WIN A CUSTODY BATTLE FOR HIS TWO K*ds. He had to do all the things above. Then, he had to show evidence that she was a bad mom - out partying and whoring all night long. Then, he had to pay something like $19k to bitch. Then, the court in CR gave him 100% custody and she was left with visitation rights only. Its a long shot, but you got a chance. Its not impossible, like all the women, so ignorantly and arrogantly flaunt.

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

Final thought is the real victim in this case, which is the Ch*ld. If you haven 't done so, you need to go to the embassy and get a birth abroad packet. It explains everything that needs to get done to make you the official father, get her a US birth certificate, passport and social security card. This requires a DNA test and the mommy can be forced legally into this. I did it for my two boys for tax purposes mostly. They have a good mommy and she was very supportive of this. On your side, this can help the K*D greatly as she will have an oppty to live in the states one day... maybe even with you (and maybe even without her). The law sides heavily with the women in CR for custody. However, I know personally one gringo that DID JUST WIN A CUSTODY BATTLE FOR HIS TWO K*ds. He had to do all the things above. Then, he had to show evidence that she was a bad mom - out partying and whoring all night long. Then, he had to pay something like $19k to bitch. Then, the court in CR gave him 100% custody and she was left with visitation rights only. Its a long shot, but you got a chance. Its not impossible, like all the women, so ignorantly and arrogantly flaunt.

CRSurftown · **Joined:** Wed Jul 29, 2009 7:26 pm **Posts:** 112

sorry to here this pac55, well at least she didnt try to go after you for common law...... If she is Nica doesnt she have less rights for pressing common law against you and other things as well, obviously she can do the dial 911 trick like anybody but I think common law is out of the question for a Nica without citizenship, although I could be wrong. Obviously your responsible for Ch*ld support since your daughter is Costa Rican. I heard making three year common law is hard to prove and stick but that just could be rumor. what diffenently is true is the first one to dial 911 wins and stays out of the paddy wagon. Sorry to hear this you seemed to have a pretty even keel approach to this.

Thirdworld · **Joined:** Tue Nov 09, 2004 11:07 am **Posts:** 4858

Somebody tell me again what are the benefits to have a chica LIVING in your house. :shock:

Chi_trekker · **Joined:** Wed Jul 13, 2005 10:54 pm **Posts:** 1693

If she is a Nica and doesn't have a green card or citizenship, then the 3 year law doesn't apply. In fact, not much does apply to her, as she would need to go through the Nicaraguan court system for any Ch*ld support. If she has residency, that may change things. I assume since she has gone to court, she must have some status in CR.

My thoughts are with the Ch*ld. You should seriously go to the Embassy and start the process. You just need the birth certificate from the hospital.... or I believe you can go the Nacional Registry. This assumes your name was declared as father.

Pacifica55 · **Posted:** Thu Oct 28, 2010 12:34 pm

Yes, my name is on the birth certificate and I am in the process of acquiring US citizenship for 'Tasha. It is her birthright. Fortunately, she has been living with stable Grandma through this and remains a happy, well adjusted little girl.

Thanks for the thoughts and notes, guys.

Redman69 · **Posted:** Mon Jan 17, 2011 4:20 pm

Yea, Pac that US thing only has upsides to it. Can not see any down side. No you can do all the forms yourself. Tasha has a good Daddy. It is a long road. I have been doing it alone for 10 years now. Yea two teenage girls will turn your hair gray. But I am doing what I want to. There is a satisfaction in that. The rest is just one day at a time.

Chi, great tips.

www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Living Together and the Law

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