www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Now I know some of you see this as naïve newbie behavior or old guys just looking for love in all the wrong places. However, I’ve noticed an aspect of older educated guys coming to Costa Rica and falling in love with an uneducated chica that seems to defy explanation. It’s not just an age difference thing, but a huge difference in education (and culture). If the same women were in the US, the guys would not consider them relationship material at all, yet many fall in love and make plans for bringing their new love to the US to live. Been There – Done That – Got the T-Shirt.

An Example: One friend who lives in Manhattan and has a master’s degree in business is in love with a Tica who has 4 Ch*ldren and a total of only one year of education. He’s trying to teach her English, but says she lacks the basic education level to know how to learn. He’s a very smart and introspective guy and she is not a young working girl hottie. She’s an attractive lady in her mid 40’s and he says the sex is wonderful. He’s not a newbie, but has been coming to CR for many years. He has heard all of the CRT stories of the chicas taking advantage of gringos – old & young. He’s neither careless, uninformed or naïve. He also knows that if he brings her to the US, she will be unable to survive long-term unless she starts her education at the first grade level and continues for many years to at least the “high school dropout” level. In the US, he would not even date a female of similar circumstances, but he’s now in love with her.

I can relate, because I did something similar and I know several other guys in Costa Rica who either have done this or who are currently in similar relationships. For some reason, it seems to be the educated guys who are in this situation more often than the less educated guys who somehow seem to avoid it. I know this is a huge generalization based upon only Ad Hoc data, but it seems to me to be much more than just being about good sex with a young woman. If it were just about young pu*sy, there is plenty of that available without wifing up.

I’m not talking about the guys who cycle through favoritas that want to be the gringo’s novia. Maybe she calls him her novio, and maybe he’s giving her $$ when he’s in town, but he’s not renting an apartment for her to live in nor is he bringing extra suitcases loaded with pots & pans, linens and women’s & children’s clothes each time he returns to Costa Rica. He’s also not solving her endless family drama or health care and dental issues. I wonder if the guys with favoritas held at a distance have in fact previously wifed up and now strive to avoid the problems it brings.

I recall my mother telling me, “Never bring a woman home with me who has more problems than I do because her problems will become my problems and I end up with only more problems to solve.” For most of my life I listened to her; at least this part of her wisdom. I have no clue why I did not follow this advice instead of wifing up with a chica in Costa Rica. Additionally, I’m not sure that I would follow her advice with another chica. My wifing up story was not as destructive or evil as others that I’ve heard about, so I’ll admit that I might do it again – just not with the same chica. I’m not some love hungry old guy as I have been both single and married for long periods and frankly I prefer to be single rather than married.

I welcome your insights to either point of view. However, let’s please keep the personal and individual flaming of each other to a minimum. This is about more than us gringos being foolish. Be assured that more guys have (or are now) wifed up than most of you will believe. We all may have heard about the problems with wifing up, but some of us seem attracted to it in Costa Rica like a moth to a flame, when we have no trouble at all resisting it in the US.

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Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

I've seen it happen in many countries, so it's nothing specific to CR...

Chemical imbalance in the brain caused by TMT (Too Much Testosterone)... Makes smart men do stupid things, over and over again... Much like Pavlov's Dog...

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"Mongo only pawn in game of life"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3K6UmgJIOw

Maybe the reason that this sort of wifing up is seen a lot in places like Costa Rica, Thailand, etc is simply due to the ease of mingling with this type of chica there. Fifty & sixty year old guys just aren't going to go hang out in the 'hood' here in the States unless they have some connection to the folks living there.

As far as I know, places like the HDR, SL, & KL do not exist here. If they did then more guys would probably end up wifing up with gringas from "the wrong side of the tracks."

Now that I think about it, what about strippers in the U.S.? They are often from similarly disadvantaged backgrounds (most, not all). I believe the general consensus is that strippers are rarely "relationship material."

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"All them women gonna make me,
teach 'em what they don't know how..." TMIB

Kickstand, I totally agree with you about strippers in the US. Most of the same guys who would not even consider having anything other than a lap dance or outcall from a stripper will come to Costa Rica and start a relationship with the same type of chica, or worse.

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Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

Lennydo

It is hard to come up with one answer that can explain the varing needs of any individual. Your friend, for example, has this educational gap with his lady. But, it seems to me, she strikes the right chords with him on a completely different level, not even referencing the bedroom activities. Probably makes him feel special. If she did the same things to me, I probably wouldn't. I know I did some wifing up in a past trip and I could see it got to be too much. And, it had nothing to do with her, just my side of the equation. Nothing bad happened, and, in some ways, it was good for me to see it. Sometimes, just sport phucking gets a bit boring. When you get a taste of passion, it can become intense. Sometimes I think men, at the core, are actually more influenced by this phenomenon than women. Can't explain why, just an observation.


I truly believe there is a magic women possess. Something about when you believe they truly care, it seems unconditional, special. Sometimes it is good, or, it can be just evil disguised as good. Don't have the answers amigo, I just know when a lady is set up in a mans neural network, we seem to lack the "see reality gene". And, I agree with Kickstand, nothing to do with CR ladies, it's one of their strengths as a species (or one of our weaknesses).


Our main task should be to understand our own individual weaknesses thus allowing us to still see things for what they really are and not some illusion we want to believe.

Dean

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my first wingman sent me this, how true

" most of the girls down here, lie as a self defense mechanism and to not have to face the truth, thinking most men couldn't accept them knowing the whole truth. Simpler, they may just want men to think they are as perfect as they want to appear to them, trying to hide what they consider to be the ugly truth about themselves. And I may be reading more into it than is there, but I do believe they consider the basis of the lies to be justified."

I have but one comment... stay away from the goddamn alcohol and you'll do fine!

Berk.....

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FRUITCAKE... and you thought it was something you eat! Not on CRT!

Please, don't anyone get mad at me. BUT, seriously, I couldn't even see using the term "wifing up" to a group of my peers! When speaking of working girls I would never hear the end of it and have my balls busted for eternity....

Thirdworld, a reasonable assumption, and for many it's correct, but some of the girls are not putas, but are young uneducated Ticas. My question includes both. Although I have participated in wifing up, I can certainly appreciate your point of view. I share it, but lack the clarity of the black/white that you see. To me, there is a lot of grey between the black and white.

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Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

Lennydo, nothing personal and don't take offense. I'm just busting balls like my circle and I tend to do... I was speaking more to the term "wifing up" . Come on now, guys will be guys, you know balls would get busted in lots of circles if you were sitting around having a beer and talked about wifing up. I enjoy your posts and I enjoy your point of view. And I do have to admit, I sometimes shouldn't comment on things I don't understand. Back in the day when I was playing in SJ alot, I didn't really go for the wifey/ girlfriend types, the ones with K*ds, the less educated. I wanted the fantasy and I wanted them hot. Hey, I don't begrudge anyone finding happiness, but it always seemed to me the girlfriend types were very mediocre at best and came with a large set of problems. And the super hot ones like I liked would definitely take a large lifestyle to maintain. I really do believe live and let live and I should write out my thoughts more concisely at times. Most of the things I say are only just for me and my situation. My opinion, nothing more. I just don't relate because I could still have that girlfriend type if I wanted that sort of thing and no way in hell would it be in the gulch. If ya really want to do that thing, learn Spanish like Cujo is always preaching and check out some spots like Palmares, Atenas,San Isidro and such. I've had some friends with very nice ladies from these spots and may just do some looking in Palmares before too long.. peace

Lennydo,
I do not have direct experience wifing up with a latina, but I have always felt that the women of the latin culture are much more affectionate, warm, sensual and caring. In my short encounters with latinas, I almost always get much much more than I ever did with an anglo woman. Lets face it, descendants of anglo/irish/german and most other northern Europeans are really deprived in this area.

Estebanh, you are most correct about latinas being warm, caring and loving, as long as you leave them where you find them... The problem stems from trying to integrate a latina into US culture... It will bite you in the azz every time...

mis dos centavos...

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"Mongo only pawn in game of life"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3K6UmgJIOw

Mr. Lenny --

Similar situation, wife in US but after 37 years we're not at all close anymore & there's no hope. Is divorce in the future? Maybe, but I have a sense of responsibility & can't just walk out on her (yea, I know it's MY issue...).

Got a bit tired of the puta scene so I looked for a girlfriend to share good times with. Met a beautiful Tica at the mall, not a puta, never has been one. Met her with her mama & sister & now, 3 1/2 years later I "visit" my other wife (Tica) for about a week and a half every month. Life is quiet & tolerable at my home in the US (still have to work, you know) & I love my time with my new "wife". So now we have an apartment in Rohrmoser, she's 33, 5'-8" & 111 lbs with a gorgeous face & personality. I'm a typical 58 y/o gringo gordito. It became quite clear our educational levels are not at all similar. She's certainly not stupid, just uneducated.

Bottom line - sometimes it's exasperating explaining what we would consider really simple concepts. On the other hand, she gets frustrated with my Spanish sometimes as well. She's not going to learn English, we're not going to live in the U.S. (visit, perhaps) & I see my old age in a Latin country, SJO, MDE or other(s). We have a great time together, seldom fight, I get along great with her family and I see a long future together. But, if it don't work out, there are plenty more to choose from. I think it would be impossible to "educate" her to a U.S. HS level & I think trying to would be unreasonable. In her country she's certainly in the majority as far a education is considered & fits in perfectly. Bottom line - she's a Latina with a Latina education & will be quite at home anywhere in the Latina world. Why try to change what works?

/dddick

Now that one don't sound like a bad setup Dan D Dick.

Dan D...
I have a similar situation, long time married, have to work. I like my home and where I live and would not like to give it up. I think you have a great set up. It could be a model for a lot of guys

My hat's off to you Mister Dick; I thought I had a similar situation in Gua, but I started to see cracks in the facade, (like her trying for an anchor baby) and I pulled the plug. As long as you can keep that going, it sounds like a good thing. Good luck

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“Good people sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” And we are the guys that keep them in Eggs & Grits