www.CostaRicaTicas.com :: View topic - I feel like a complete fool -- for two reasons.

None of this "well she knows I will be there etc.." scratch that shit right out of your mind. You found happiness in CR for a while, you can do it again... :idea:

Easier said then done, but through it all maintain your dignity. Be a man and continue with a smile. No need to act bitter towards her either. If you find yourself in furture conversations with her, Be polite (but not fake) and show her your going to be ok regardless...

Cujo

First --
I was so prepared to be f*cked over that I was suspicious of her and would not trust her. It hurt her feelings and she dumped me.

She won't talk to me and is very hurt.

SHIT. I should have never let this happen. I told her I wanted to give her a present I bought her and grab my clothes and she interpreted it as me thinking she was going to steal my clothing.

Author:	Djnecessiter [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:06 pm ]
Post subject:	I feel like a complete fool -- for two reasons.
First -- I came to Costa Rica for sex and a feeling of conquest. I left in love. I felt like an idiot because of it, but I could not help myself. I know you guys will laugh and I will hear the "Mine is different" jokes. She really is and was. I lost my debit card and she drove to the airport to give me money so I could pay my exit tax and get my car out of parking. She was always honest, even to a fault. I was so prepared to be fcked over that I was suspicious of her and would not trust her. It hurt her feelings and she dumped me. This is after MANY conversations and spending time with each other outside of the gulch. She won't talk to me and is very hurt. I was so prepared to try to make this work that now I feel nothing but loss. I have the next two trips paid for in advance -- to see her and to meet her daughter. That's not going to happen. I booked into a "civilian" hotel for the first weekend. Today I got an extra reservation at Amistad at the penthouse. Ordinarily I would just say screw it and think of all the fun I will be having with many women in that suite. Right now I just feel sick and empty. Call me a pssy, tell me I'm an idiot -- do your worst. I just hope there's another gringo out there that has found himself in the same boat and can help. What's crazy is a really amazing gringa wants my attention right now and all I can think about is this impossible situation and woman I wanted so badly - a thousand miles away. SHIT. I should have never let this happen. I told her I wanted to give her a present I bought her and grab my clothes and she interpreted it as me thinking she was going to steal my clothing. I've worried too much, called too much and e-mailed too much. What the f*ck happened to me? I get laid in the States just fine -- but this woman got to me somehow. What do I do now??

Author:	Phoenix Rising [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:26 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: I feel like a complete fool -- for two reasons.
Djnecessiter wrote: What do I do now?? 1. El corazon es tonto.... yours and everyone else's...accept it 2. When you are done beating yourself up about it...you'll start to feel better 3. The "Vegas Bob" cure....

Author:	Djnecessiter [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 9:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Advice
Thanks for the advice. This sucks beyond belief. Well, I've been through a couple of divorces already... so I'm just going to have to burn through this and deal with it. I never dreamt I would end up feeling this way when I first arrived there. I had 7 women in 2 days and came back only two weeks later for the woman that stopped my mongering efforts. Maybe I should have kept to the plan? Aaahhh.. and here's where I will really get flamed. What do I do with the ring I was supposed to give her in two weeks? I can't return it -- it's got our names and our k*ds names engraved in it. Ugh... anyone going to be around at the end of the month? Tequila is on me.

Author:	Pacifica55 [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:32 pm ]
Post subject:
You were lucky. You were moving way too fast and she probably knew it. Needy and desperate are not attractive. Pick up the pieces and carry on.

Author:	Djnecessiter [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:39 pm ]
Post subject:	crap
You're right. Damn it. It's just that not even a week ago she was telling me that she wanted to be with me and have a family.

www.CostaRicaTicas.com https://forum.costaricaticas.com/

I feel like a complete fool -- for two reasons. https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=30064	Page 1 of 6

Author:	LAdiablo [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:40 pm ]
Post subject:
these women are hechiseras. they give us everything and captivate the imagination. sounds like you had an incredible experience for a while. may be best to think of it like that. good luck.

Author:	Djnecessiter [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:46 pm ]
Post subject:	"hechisera"
Perfect word. I did not know it until now -- but you're right. Sorry, but P4P in Amsterdam, Singapore... wherever... nothing compared to my experiences so far in CR. Damn, I did not expect this.

Author:	EsposoDeBarbie [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 10:51 pm ]
Post subject:
Sounded like you had a decent thing going until I read the part that said, "I was so prepared to be f*cked over that I was suspicious of her and would not trust her." I'm sure she picked up on all of those negative waves. Next time, try staying more positive. You will find that it is a hell of a lot more powerful to send those types of signals. I am a huge believer in the Law of Attraction. If you cannot trust em and respect em what do you expect to get in return? Stay positive Pura Vida EdB

Author:	Djnecessiter [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:00 pm ]
Post subject:	Thanks, guys
I am glad to have the advice of some long-time CRT brothers. I knew deeo down I should have trusted her -- but everything I read was to the contrary. She never gave me a reason to doubt, but I kept looking for flaws in the whole thing... other than the obvious challenges such a relationship would pose. Well - I'm pretty d*mn certain there is no going back now. She knows I will be there in a couple of weeks. I sent a package full of groceries for her and her daughter since she was so upset about me sending money. this was done right before she dumped me. She'll be getting that and a nice card in about a week. A friend said I might hear from her then... I am torn between avoiding her like the plague -- and hand-delivering the ring. I hate feeling like this. This was NOT the plan. Well, sorry to sit here licking my wounds and asking for advice -- it's just not very easy to find somewhere to ask these sorts of questions. Thanks guys.

Author:	Cujo's [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:
So she's willing to throw it all away because she's "mad, upset, hurt" that you showed you didn't trust her? I agree with the above advice but don't beat yourself up over it. She could just be posturing and acting like it bothered her to the point of wanting a break-up. I'm not trying to sound like a dick, but eitherway it sounds like she has moved on. If you act anything different then that in return, it will be off putting and desperate. So the more important thing (as I've told Patriot) is to move forward.. None of this "well she knows I will be there etc.." scratch that shit right out of your mind. You found happiness in CR for a while, you can do it again... Easier said then done, but through it all maintain your dignity. Be a man and continue with a smile. No need to act bitter towards her either. If you find yourself in furture conversations with her, Be polite (but not fake) and show her your going to be ok regardless... Cujo

Author:	Djnecessiter [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:15 pm ]
Post subject:	Thanks, guys.
And now we come to the recurring question... is anyone going to be around to have a shot of tequila with -- or do I need to post that in Roll Calls?4

Author:	DrForm [ Wed Aug 12, 2009 11:25 pm ]
Post subject:
Cujo'S wrote: None of this "well she knows I will be there etc.." scratch that shit right out of your mind. You found happiness in CR for a while, you can do it again... Easier said then done, but through it all maintain your dignity. Be a man and continue with a smile. No need to act bitter towards her either. If you find yourself in furture conversations with her, Be polite (but not fake) and show her your going to be ok regardless... Cujo Good post and great advise...

Author:	Dean [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:01 am ]
Post subject:
These guys are all correct. You just got done riding an unexpected, fantastic wave and now your sitting on your surfboard looking out to sea at it looks very calm, nothing on the horizon, empty. Enjoy what you had, take a moment to see where you made your mistakes, learn from them, then move on. No magic pill here (or shot or words). I will be down 9/2. I really hate tequila but will have a shot with you on one condition. We celebrate the new opportunities and don't spend one second discussing what could have been with the lost one. Also, the gringa can come come in very handy, just wait til you are ready to enjoy her, do not use her to try to fill the void. Dean

Author:	Icantstayaway [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:34 am ]
Post subject:	Re: I feel like a complete fool -- for two reasons.
Djnecessiter wrote: First -- I was so prepared to be f*cked over that I was suspicious of her and would not trust her. It hurt her feelings and she dumped me. "trust AND verify" She is setting you up or trying and when she sees you aint gonna be easy, she wants to move on to a more likely target. With what did you not trust her ? "Baby , if I was not careful, I wouldn't have anything with which not to trust you." And where did you meet this girl? If you have to ask someone to turn their head when you enter a password on your computer or at the ATM machine, then that is on them and not you. Be a man and tell that ______ to respect what you've taken a lifetime to accumulate and can only give away , or get taken away once. Djnecessiter wrote: She won't talk to me and is very hurt. Games to take control. Djnecessiter wrote: SHIT. I should have never let this happen. I told her I wanted to give her a present I bought her and grab my clothes and she interpreted it as me thinking she was going to steal my clothing. Physco behavior that will only get worse.

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Author:	LAdiablo [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 1:56 am ]
Post subject:
^ what he said verbatim. call the bluff and see what happens. if you come back hard she knows she has you by the short and curlies. this is over you didn't trust her? please. keep your wits about you man.