www.CostaRicaTicas.com

ok, so I did it... I fell in love with a puta... I had a relationship, it was wonderful for about a year...

the breakup sucked!!!

I've moved on with my life, I'm back to mongering. Life is very good *except for how the market is treating all of us*

HOWEVER, I have to ask a question of you fellow mongers...

Of those of you that have fallen for one of these.... HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH IT?


I have no problem with not having a relationship with her, I've gotten over the whole thing, BUT...

When I go to one of my favourite MP's and she's working there, how do you guys deal with KNOWING that she's going through 8 guys a day?

I'm not saying in an I hate her sort of way, but, how can you deal with someone you loved once doing that to herself?

Just curious...

I dealt with it for several months, and now I've gotten this existential guilt thing going....

It was HER choice, she's chose this life, she had the option to do something else... but STILL...

how have you dealt with THAT part of it?

I'm not hung up on her anymore, and I live my life without her, but it hurts the heart to think that she does that every day...

OK, if she worked at DR, and saw 1 or 2 clients a night, I wouldn't give a rats ass, but it's the MP scene I don't get...

ok, I'll shut up before people think I'm too much of a weenie...

any info helps!

thanks!

qbf

Yo brother, the only one you can really change is you. It may seem odd that she would chose working at an MP over what you offered but you cannot take it personally.

Her decision to work is her decision. Working at "her" MP provides her with security and companionship, the top two in many women's lives.

I don't know how much time you were able to spend in CR, but it is almost impossible, in my opinion, to provide security and companionship while living in another country. Just the logistics of the situation.

The insecurity of many working girls is hard for us to relate to, in my opinion. I just got back from my three-day CR break. I went to Panama and was sick with a cold when I left and still a bit sick on my return. I tried to calla couple times but we didn't connect. By the time I got back, she was convinced I had left her and all my possessions. She was supposed to visit family while I was gone but ended up barely leaving the house (which was cleaned from top to bottom while I was gone). She was not going to speak to me for three days but that was fueled by her insecurity and dissolved when I walked back in the door.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out, QBF. If I were you, I wouldn't spend a lot of time worrying about her decision. Stay friends if you like but don't let her choice effect the way you think about her, if able.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

First I am sorry for your loss....

IMHO, you do still have feelings for her. Feelings that come from the heart do not just turn off, and on, like a light switch. Would it be better to know that she "if she worked at DR, and saw 1 or 2 clients a night, I wouldn't give a rats ass", I think not. I doubt that seeing her with any other men would be all right, especially now during the raw hurt.

You have given from your heart, nothing but time will heal that. There is no amount of thought that you can put into it to make sense. If anything, it will make the hurt last longer. When you are thinking a thought that does not serve your highest thought for self, change that thought immediately. You deserve that for yourself.

There is gold in the situation, it is just so far removed from the hurt that you feel that you cannot see it at this time. Think about it, you gave from your heart, and what a wonderful gift that is. I doubt that I will ever be able to say that again. Your feeling over time will turn from hurt to the joy of knowing that you were able to give from your heart. It is just such a long journey now.

The hardest journey that a man takes in his life is the 18 inches, from his head to his heart. You are back in your head again. Move back into your heart for the answers, it will not lie to you. Nothing any of us can say will answer what your heart has to tell you. It will not lie to you.

You are not a weenie, but a real man. Weenie's are people like me who fear giving their heart's up again.

Health & happiness to you...

Steve - Santas Bro

_________________
It's not the size of the wand that put the rabbit in the hat, it's the magic in it!!!

What an amazing community!

A guy posts a great story about life and two wise gentlemen step up to offer support and perspective that I believe is spot on. I can empathize with what QBF says because I recognize how susceptible I would be to the same situation.

I have read so many great posts on this site that I am somewhat intimidated to meet some of the authors face to face. But I am going to make the effort if I get the chance.

What did I expect? Maybe I expected a mongering site to be full of disruptive misfits, or losers who couldn’t get a girl, or persons of questionable character. Instead I find a broad spectrum of men, many of whom have had led full and successful lives, contributing their time to offer support to anyone that has a question. On this site I witness philanthropy, thought-provoking ideas, kindness, wisdom, laughter, and camaraderie. I am giddy with happiness since my January trip to Costa Rica and I want to build on that experience. Thank you to all of the posters that help us newbies.

I have always kept pretty much to myself. But I am going to follow the advice on this board and begin meeting more of the CRT members. Whenever I am blessed with the opportunity, I am going to make the effort to step out and introduce myself. My expectations are realistic. Some of you may find me a dud, and that’s ok. It’s kind of the same with the girls. But some of us will become friends. I am really looking forward to new friendships and taking future trips where I can meet up with old friends.

Costa Rica and this board have been great therapy for me. I could have spent 10 years on a therapist’s couch and not come away with the healing that I experienced from the girls in Costa Rica, and more importantly from the posters on this board.

Thank you to all.

Finally, I don't necessarily want to change the direction of this thread. QBF, if I had wisdom and experience in love I would offer my thoughts to you. Right now I am more of a student than a professor. My only advice is to carry on. One day you will again be filled with passion for the coming day.

Lost

QBF – Good Luck and I left a PM for you.

When I had my first “heart-break” by my fist love in HS, my dad told me that it won’t be the last time and to handle it like a man. I was wimping out and could not understand what he was telling me. But later as I grew up, we have spoken about that moment and the words that he gave me still resound with me. He asks me if I have had great moments with woman and love. I reply, the best. He asks me a second question, would you give up woman and love so I did not have to get my “heart-broken”. There was no need to answer that.

As much as we complaint, get our hearts-broken, write and dramatize about the “chicas” on our lives, we are still having the best time of our life’s, Pura Vida.

_________________
Hit them fast, Hit them hard and NEXT!
A good chica is like a good carpenter - No wood gets wasted!!!

QBF,
Sorry to hear about your situation. But I'm sure you already realize - that after all the smoke clears and at the end of the day.... it is what it is. Don't dwell on her. Shake yourself off and get back on the horse. You might want to try the "Vegas Bob" cure. Buena suerte!

Pura Vida,
MG

_________________
You ALWAYS have an option ....... "NEXT" !!!

GUYS... truly, I thank you for your words...

However, I have, indeed passed the agony part, long ago...

my issue came to light over my last trip...

background:
we were together for about a year... for 6 months after that, I helped her out, and we tried a friendship/employer/employee thing...

it didn't work out, and she went to work at an MP...

It is one I frequent, ok so I frequent MOST of them in CR, but still...

the first 3 trips I took while she worked there, were hard, and I dealt with it... I didn't like it, but hell, she chose the life...

BUT, after spending considerable time at that MP this past trip, and talking to the other girls, I just DON'T KNOW WHY she would CHOOSE that life...

YES, if she was working at the DR, and seeing 1 or 2 a night, at least its 1 or 2,

I JUST DON'T GET THE 6-10 a day thing...

that's the part I can't get over...


Don't get me wrong, I thank god daily that there are girls who would rather be MP girls than DR girls, as that's where the cheap pu*sy is, my problem is... why her...


again, thanks for the kind words, and like I said, I AM over her, but this one thing keeps twitching at me....

QBF

I think I understand what you're saying and it puts a whole new twist on what these girls endure. The thought of her having to Phuck so many men, many of whom are meanspirited, women hating pricks, is disconcerting. Of course, that's the situation of virtually every girl who works at an MP, but we don't feel bad for them until we connect with them. Then we are forced to see another aspect of mongering. I suppose that girls who adapt that view of their job wouldn't last long. In other words, she isn't suffering as bad as you are.

I wish I could say something that could ease your mind. Pac said (paraphrasing here) that she is getting what she needs from doing what she is doing, and I suppose that is about the best philosophical attitude you can have. And, as a practical matter, if it hurts that much to see her there, I guess you could find another massage parlor and avoid where she works. Last I've heard, there are one or two others.

Ciaociao

QBF, I sympathize with you - immensely. It is almost impossible to have a long distance relationship - I tried and failed and it took me soooo long to recover I began to wonder if I ever would.

You know that you will recover. It only takes time and that journey cannot be changed by anyone other than you. Thank God we have friends like the gents above who gently (and not so gently at times!! ) offer their advice. And the advice our brothers have offered above is spot on.

There will be a brighter day and this episode will only make your journey more meaningful - but for now accept it as best you can and TAKE THE VEGAS BOB CURE!!

_________________
These are just the opinion pages and I am just submitting mine.

Poco a poco la vieja sube el coco.

Don't mean to sound like Capt obvious qbf, but did you ask her? Not sure if you guys are still talking but maybe she can answer this question

Cujo

_________________
"Pain is the fuel that fans the flames of my pyre. A battle plan is only as good as the general carrying it out on the field. This is my war son, and I have the biggest bombs and the smallest conscience"...

This is the one thing that kept me safely away from relationships with working girls. If I kept one around for any period of time, it was simply for cheap pu*sy. Nothing more.

My advice is to get WAYYYY over it. If you think she is thinking about you, when she is doing 8 guys per day, you need to snap out of it. I recommend banging as many girls as possible.

Forget about guilt. I had the same feeling for a few long timers (repeats or more than a week of play). When you throw them back into the sea, you are actually setting them free. You are ALSO ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE for her situation.

Hope you feel better.

_________________
http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

Yes, we're still talking, and yes I did ask...

Her answer is one of the most mysterious answers I've ever heard...

She says she doesn't feel like a puta at an MP, but at the DR, she does...

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND THIS AT ALL...

My answer, which would get me shot, would be, no, at an MP you're not a puta, youre a cheap puta... but I never said that...

I repeat this though... I'm well over her, just dont get the whole going to work at the MP...

AND, I've done the VB cure ad nauseum, I'm good, I won't ever go back with her, not ever, just hurts to see someone you love/loved doing that to herself...

Although I think ciaociao said the best explanation... it doesn't hurt her anywhere near what it hurts me... that's the only possible explanation...

qbf

I'm certainly not on her side about this, but maybe there is some merit to her answer.

I'm guessing at MP's the chicas are closer to one another. Working at an MP as a chica is more of a "job" then the girls at DR. I'm thinking in most MP's instances it is all about the quick blow job, a few positions, then it's over and they can go back to bullshitting with the rest of them without any glares from other chicas or otherwise added drama.

Maybe working at the DR she feels more on "display" with a host of other girls to compete with. Having to openly flirt with a fat gringo she wouldn't give a second look too, etc..

She probably feels more in control of her environment working at an MP and while she could make more working at DR might be some insight to how important it is for her to feel safe, in control, and comfortable.

I of course don't know shit, but I can see some reason in her answer...

Cujo

_________________
"Pain is the fuel that fans the flames of my pyre. A battle plan is only as good as the general carrying it out on the field. This is my war son, and I have the biggest bombs and the smallest conscience"...

Have to agree with the above mi amigo. I have heard the whole story from you personally, as have you mine. What she is and chooses to be I can't fathom what she is thinking. You just have to hang your head high, knowng you took the high road and did everything within your power.

Explanations ?? at this point, they are useless because of HER attitude...

Bigbambu also makes a valid point about the long distance relationship issue. It rarely if EVER works unless you are living in the same country

IMHO, Cujo nailed it.

Dr. Mario sez, "Word!"

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978