www.CostaRicaTicas.com

"Incredibly Stupid Decisions“ No fool like an old fool an old fool“ Stupid is as Stupid Does

It's taken me a while to write this story for the benefit of you CRT newbies since I needed to get over the deep personal hurt and embarrassment. I also do not wish to write it in a way that makes her look evil, because that is untrue; incredibly stupid perhaps, but not evil. She never stole from me and never sought to do me harm or ask others to do harm to me. In most every way, she is as beautiful inside as she is outside. Her smile will light up the room.

Perhaps the greatest differences we older guys have with younger chicas is in how we love. Now, this is a big generalization guys, but indulge me. Ch*ldren and teenagers give love for the material things they receive and withhold love from those who do not give them what they want, when they want it. Many adults and especially older adults, tend to view love as an obligation they choose to give freely to those they love. I think many of the older guys who are viciously taken advantage of in CR by the chicas, share this view of love. Perhaps this is also why some of you guys who view love as what you get and not what you give, think we givers are such suckers. In some cases, you are right. But I don't feel that way. I have enjoyed a wonderful time with a beautiful woman, less than half my age for over a year. I take pride that she is much better off after being with me than she would have been had I not been in her life. I am also better off from her being in my life.

I met "J" (her 25 and me 60) on the last few days of my first trip to CR in June of 2006. I was immediately blown away by her beauty and sexual talents. When I came back for the Labor Day CRT Annual Party, I began looking for an apartment in Rohrmoser for us to share, along with her 5 year old baby. Soon after I moved in with her I learned that her baby's father was one of the big drug dealers in Pavas and he was not happy that she was living with a gringo. That drama quieted down when Tico grandmother (Daddy's mother) told him to behave and that I was treating his baby better than he treated his own son.

"J" had been in CR illegally since she was age12 so I helped her get her Nicaraguan Passport and Costa Rica Residency to which she was entitled since her baby's father was a Tico. She attended Intensa to learn English until it became too hard due to her missing basic grammar in the Costa Rica high school. Then I enrolled her into Berlitz for more indepth attention. After 6 months, she had maxed out at what she could grasp at Berlitz and was losing interest in attending classes again. After more than a year of English, she speaks English fairly well and her grammar is suitable for CR, but not the US.

I purchased a condo in Belen in January 2007 and we moved from Rohrmoser. Over this past year, I took great pride in how she and her baby blossomed in a safe environment. She's more beautiful today than when I first met her. I fixed her teeth (1root canal, 1 crown and 18 fillings) due to her bulimia to stay flacita while she was working at the SL. As she gained healthy weight, she of course needed new clothes and so did her baby. I truly must have been in love, because I actually went into the ladies shoe departments in the USA to purchase high heels and purses for her and schlepped them down to CR in my luggage, along with other clothes for her and her baby that are just not available to buy in CR. She would ask for what she and her baby needed, but she never demanded. I gave to her freely and without expectation of repayment.

One issue we had was directly related to my disappointment in her not meeting my fantasy of embracing education as much as I knew was required in order to be what I had in mind for her once she came to the US. This was my fantasy; she was still living for the moment, but willingly trying to do what I was suggesting she do, almost like I was her father or mentor. In fact, I felt many times like I was raising a teenage daughter. For you guys who have raised a daughter, you know what I mean.

Another issue was the money that she continuously sent to her 86 year old Grandmother in Nicaragua. Once "J" had visited her Grandmother in Nicaragua whom she had not seen or talked to in 13 years, the drama and the RFM's began. They included things like Grandmother broke her foot that magically healed in one week after receiving $$. The last RFM was for Grandmother's Kidney Transplant ---- in an 86 year old woman! "J" was highly offended when I suggested to her that her relatives were just scamming her to get money from me. She thought I was just being cheapo. Prior to Christmas, I sent her $$ so that she could have money to buy gifts. She did not buy gifts for her baby, but sent $200 to Nica Grandmother even though she had recently promised me not to send any more $$ to Nicaragua without my consent.

She told me that the two Christmases we spent together were the only years that her baby had enjoyed a Christmas Tree at home. Both years, 100% of the Christmas gifts her baby received came from me loading them into big suitcases and schlepping them down to CR like Santa Claus. The father, the baby's grandmother and even "J" did not buy him anything for Christmas, either year! I was shocked and began this year to really question what kind of culture I have gotten myself into. I still do not understand this. I believe that Christmas is for K*ds and can't understand parents who don't eagerly participate.

Soon after purchasing the condo in Belen, I purchased a car. "J" did not have a driver's license, but still wanted to drive. Reluctantly and with many promises from her, I told her that once she got her driver's license that she could drive the car, even while I am in away in the US. This is where it really starts looking like I was raising a teenage daughter. She was mad at me after several months of sticking to my guns on requiring her to have a driver's license in order to drive. In true Costa Rica style, she then obtained the best drivers license that money can buy. Oh Shit! I kept my word and let her drive with many agreed upon restrictions and promises, which were frequently broken under circumstances and drama which she claimed were not her fault. She put dings in all four corners of the bumpers of the car from hitting things like the wall in the garage of the condo and other cars or walls. Her driving speed increased as it does with all new drivers until they have the big accident and lose control from driving too fast. Fortunately that big accident never happened and I was able to sell the car before I ended up with a huge liability from her having an accident. I was told by my CR attorneys that an accident that exceeded the maximum $80K liability insurance coverage available in CR could prevent me from getting my $$ out of CR until any lawsuits were settled in perhaps 10 years or so. As you might expect, "J" was really upset when I sold the car. It was like daddy had taken her car away.

It appears from what I can piece together, that her anger toward me for pushing her in school, not allowing her to send Nica Grandmother “her” money that she saved from not paying house utility bills, and my selling "her" car motivated her to be receptive when a guy tried to persuade her. This guy (Richard C from Chicago, age 62) came to see my house since I was offering it for sale. "J" showed him the house, mentioned her anger towards me and questioned whether I was really planning to bring her to the United States once I sold the house. The guy, seeing an opportunity, sweet talked her and made promises of how if she were his woman, that he would lavish $$ on her and buy her gifts, while only expecting her to be with him. I guess she believed him and two weeks after I had given her a diamond engagement ring around Christmas time, she spent the weekend with him at the Marriott near to my condo.

When I first learned what she had done, I was naturally very upset. Then for some freaky reason, I felt relieved. It gave me the justification to withdraw all of my promises to care for her and her baby. No more trying to argue with an irresponsible teenager. Now she was just a woman who had committed the unpardonable act. Now, all that she needed to do was pack and leave. I firmly but delicately was able to persuade her to move from my condo. It appears that her guilt was a factor, but perhaps the biggest factor for the easy move was that she believed the guy was going to buy her a house and take care of her as he promised. What she did not know at that time is that he's married.

I was very worried, after reading the articles in AM Costa Rica about how the domestic laws in CR are stacked against us gringos, even if the women are in the wrong. However, I was able to keep my cool and give her some $$ to move. I got it done with less hassle than I anticipated.

I had earlier installed a Vonage line in my home and she had called the guy at both his cell number and office number in the US, and he had called her using my toll free service. After "J" had completely moved out, I called the guy and left him the following message:

Hi Richard, this is Len XXX. You probable recognize my first name because Jessica had my first name tattooed on the back of her neck in expression of her love for me several months ago. Richard, where I'm from, if a man steals your woman; you are expected to send him a Thank You Note. I just wondered if I should send it to your home address in Orland Park or to your office in Bridgeview, Illinois. Remember Richard, no matter how fantastic a woman looks, there is a guy somewhere who is tired of her shit. Call me and let me know where I should send your card.

He never called me, but freaked and called Jesica. That's when she discovered that he's married. Of course he told her that he's in the process of a divorce and would be back in CR real soon, but was not sure when just yet.

You long-term CRT guys have warned us newbies repeatedly not to try to homestead chicas; that it won't typically turn out very well. I know this one had all the potential to be a great love story, at least in my fantasy it did. I'm sad at the circumstances, but now realize that comedian Ron White is correct. "You can't fix stupid." And, I certainly dealt with trying to fix a continuous stream of incredibly stupid decisions.

Now, I'm ready for the endless stream of beautiful women to heal this broken heart. I'll be back soon and once I have the stream of chica contacts like you older guys have, I'll be just fine.

If you guys are ever are having sex with a chica from behind and as you grab her hair, you see LEN tattooed on the back of her neck in Gothic letters one inch high; tell her Len says, Hola and good luck in your life and then keep on stroking. She's really a good hearted woman both in and out of bed. I know you will have a wonderful experience. I certainly enjoyed being with her for this past year.

_________________
Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

Lenny,
Thanks for sharing your story.

I hope you don't take offense... but what did you expect to happen with a woman 35 years younger than you?

Now, it's time for the VB post-relationship cure.

Orange,

You are right. I agree. Next time I'm in CR, I'll take two chicas and call you and VB in the morning. This past two + weeks when I was in CR were mostly spent getting the move out completed. When I come back (Late June for sure. Maybe earlier), I'll be primed to get on with nookie life. This last trip was consumed by the breakup sex. It was good, but it hampered my taking the VB cure.

_________________
Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

Len,

Sorry things didn't work out for you. Jessica always seemed very sweet and devoted to you. Glad you got out without more damage having occurred than what actually did.



Personally, I feel the girl's background, economic/class standing, and how you first hooked up with her are just as important as the age difference. You may find that out someday as well. Though for your sake, I hope you continue to buck the odds...

_________________
Check out http://weluvlatinas.com/ for the web's best info on the latin american monger lifestyle...

lenny,i got to meet you at our tampa meeting (i guess a year ago) wow you didnt stay a newbie long ...while i was reading your posts i had expected the worse and it seems as you got out ok...for myself reading a post like this helps all of us !!as it can and will happen if we dont hit and run with these girls. I was lucky and i have only sent money once and the most posts i looked at about how things turn south for guys who think they found "the girl" who isnt like that, i said she really only looks at me as cash plain and simple. Please post when you take your next trip as i would like to be a wingman with you .....thanks for making that post ,my next trip is in 14 days......

Lenny,

Thanks for sharing with the rest of us. I know how much you actually cared for J. I am really happy you got out without police and court drama. When you sent me apm a while back I was expecting a much worse outcome.

You should fnd out from your attorney if the condo is still at risk until you sell it.

I also think you are being realistic and looking at the good and the bad from your situation.

BKTUNA
I am never going home

Lenny,
I think the whole thing turned out well for you. You had fun while it lasted and you didnt lose a house or a car, just some money....But every wife or girl you are in a relationship costs money. It seems 90% of relationships end badly even if there is no age difference so I wouldnt focus on that. Women in CR seem to have a fidelity problem or maybe its just the ones we meet. But it seems to be in the tica mindset that fidelity is not real important and infidelity is something they would laugh about over coffee with their friends.
If you really wanted to get a faithful one you would have to screen for that first, so your fishing grounds might be church on sundays etc but that would be a slow going process and not much fun but maybe a good payoff.
Seems like you need to find another one now and do the same thing every year and keep churning that way she cant take your house.
And heres another thing: You had a positive impact on her Ch*ld and her life for a year. There is your salvation army donation for your lifetime.

and she may look back on that time period and lament that she had it so good then and come back for some free sexo no strings attached

Lenny,

Thanks for sharing that very personal experience with the members. Hopefully some will read and learn from your experience.



I agree that age diffrence is not the great problem in these type relationships but it certaintly adds another factor into the equation.

I am not sure that CR women have a fidelity problem. Certainly there are many divorces in the U.S. that are linked to wifes having affairs. I believe the fidelity problem is more related to working girls getting into the mind set that giving their body to someone is not an act of "love" but rather one of commerce. They have had unemotional sex with relative strangers many times. In there way of thinking it is just one more time to get something they want not an act of betrayal.

_________________
Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

I agree ID I think you are right the fidelity problem is probably equal to that of the states it just seems worse because of the sampling pool that once finds in the gulch... and yes they dont do it because they are malicious or concerned about betrayal they do it because they have been conditioned that this pu*sy is for commerce to get the things they want.

".....and she'll have fun, fun, fun till her daddy takes the T-bird away."

QUOTE:
".....I know this one had all the potential to be a great love story, at least in my fantasy it did."

Thanks for sharing this with us, Lenny. Hopefully it will be a lesson for many of us. I know how easily it can happen....Been there, done that. Fortunately for me....not on the scale you described. You'll get over it and come back stronger.

Good luck,
Zebra

Thanks for your concern, but we'll be just fine. But that's the 2nd time you took a personal shot at my girlfriend, strike 2. Yeah, I did read the shit you posted a few months ago then had Admin delete it 5 minutes later.

orange what does your post mean? how can that be construed as a shot at your girlfriend?

A wise man once told me to use this as a barometer for my relationships, are we building each other up or tearing each other down? If it's become mostly down then it's time to make drastic changes or end it for both our benefit. If you can honestly say that then you have nothing to feel bad about, you tried and it didn't work. Seems the only mistake here was setting your expectations on her too high...
After watching a few of these relationships I'm beginning to see some commonalities. -

#1) Gringo has a fantasy of a great relationship and setting at least some unrealistic expectations upon his novia. Like fidelity, being responsible with his money, acting like an adult and maybe her working to learn something worthwhile. Not unreasonable expectations at all but let's face it- most of these lower class working chicas will just not live up to them and dissapoint us.

#2) Have heard this more than once, she becomes more of a dependant than a novia or wife.

#3) The typical "Family of Leeches", bad enough dealing with her creative RFM's but eventually the whole family gets in on the game.

#4) Chicas first car should be a bumper car.

I'm guessing the only thing that could affect the condo is common-law marriage which would require living together 3 years? Unless he was foolish enough to put her name on the deed, which believe it or not gringos sometimes do.

Lennydo you really got out easy, things could have been much worse if she was a shark with greedy motives or smart enough to take you for all she could get. You're probably right she was just ignorant and living for today.

#5) Some of these working chicas could really be set for life if they'd just get with the program and grow up a little. There are plenty of lonely gringos willing to give them a better life but they eventually screw it up or rip him off and end up back at the BM. Of course the blame can go both ways.

There's some valuable lessons here for those gringos getting into these situations. -Always protect your assets and keep your expectations realistic.

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

You know, and this isn't just related to working girls. I'm finding more and more that these creatures are very immature and act out like teenagers a good bit of the time. That's the real thing that has kept me away from a few relationships: not willing to put in the time to train them as you would a puppy or a teenager. I've seen girls do very bad things to guys out of frustration for not getting what they want and then turn around and beg forgiveness the next day.

Hey Lenny, thanks for a great story as there are many lessons that can be learned here...

I go to Costa Rica to rent, not buy... I'm not looking for another girlfriend, wife, or any relationship... There may be a time when I am susceptible to tugs of the heart, but not now...

I like to love em one hour at a time....