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the machista attitude
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=19&t=19832		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  Kalel21 [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 6:15 am ]
Post subject:  the machista attitude
I was reading something on relationships in Latin America and how men are meant to be masculine.

I have often heard of the stereotype of machista males in Latin America and Brazil, but surely this is just something that happens in the lower class not the upper middle or upper classes.
Author:  LittleKing [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 9:42 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm not sure that the machista attitude found in LAm is limited to lower classes. What I have seen with some of my attractive Peruvian amigas who have been involved with their local men, lower to middle-class men in the cases I know of, is how possessive these men are. Yet at the same time they do oftentimes promise their love to one woman while playing around with one or more others, sometimes making the very same promises.

I am sure these life situations are very gratifying for these men - having the variety every man craves (more than one attractive woman to phuck), enjoying alpha-male status with their male friends who know about what they are doing, and on top of that having real emotional relationships with their women, as opposed to emotionless sex from hardened prostitutes. But...it does seem too for all of their so-called machista-ness, these men do often fall very deeply and get emotional with their loves, crying and begging them to come back after they misbehave.

All of this is over-generalization of course. But these fairly common characteristics of the local men do seem to lead many latinas, even disregarding economic factors, to come to feel that the relationship grass is greener with men outside of LAm.
Author:  SparkChaser69 [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 9:47 am ]
Post subject: 
It goes all the way to the top. My wife was married to a VERY successful colombian business man, had two sons with him. He was as bad as any latin man or man period, cheating, drinking etc.... The biggest complaint I hear from latinas is they hate the macho attitude of latinos, but I promise you if you show weakness, they will eat you alive.

It took me awhile to get the beat down gringo out of my system and "man up" to handle my colombiana. Things are great now.
Just my dos pesos..... :D
Author:  Kalel21 [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Hi,

The reason why I brought this topic up is because I was talking to some 3 latinas and they were complaining how men don't let them work outside the house and confine them to the home. We spent like 3 hrs on this topic.

But last time I remember it was the women in the middle and upper classes that are most confortable staying home and being pampered. Some may take a part time job but most in the middle to upper areas of all latin countries I have visited (including costa rica and colombia) women spend most time at home if the husband can afford it. Also Men in those places are the heads of household and they have the most authority.
Author:  Kalel21 [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
SparkChaser69 wrote:
It goes all the way to the top. My wife was married to a VERY successful colombian business man, had two sons with him. He was as bad as any latin man or man period, cheating, drinking etc.... The biggest complaint I hear from latinas is they hate the macho attitude of latinos, but I promise you if you show weakness, they will eat you alive.

It took me awhile to get the beat down gringo out of my system and "man up" to handle my colombiana. Things are great now.
Just my dos pesos..... :D
well said. it seems these women really like an alpha male not a wimp.
Author:  Zebra [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
QUOTE:

".....It took me awhile to get the beat down gringo out of my system and "man up" to handle my Colombiana."

A good, memorable quote. 8)
Author:  Haywood Jablommi [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 5:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Pacifica 55 hit the nail on the head.
American men are so submissive and emasculated that we see the latin men as overly crude towards women. The irony is that women constantly test men and if men only say " yes dear" instead of the occasional "shut up goddammit" the women lose respect for them. That is true of women around the world.
Historically women achieved power through language(nagging, subtle hints ect.) as they were physicially weaker. Men had power through the implied danger that their superior physical force held. I am certainly not advocating hitting women but if you dont show a flash of anger in your voice somtimes, they will eat you alive and the relationship will be out of balance. The flashes of anger will set off primal warning signs in her brain that it is time to stop whining and nagging. She will respect you and it will keep the relatinship in balance. If you let it go unchallanged all of the time , she will never stop. That is a fact.
Author:  Predator [ Sat Oct 27, 2007 8:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Kalel21 wrote:
But last time I remember it was the women in the middle and upper classes that are most confortable staying home and being pampered. Some may take a part time job but most in the middle to upper areas of all latin countries I have visited (including costa rica and colombia) women spend most time at home if the husband can afford it. Also Men in those places are the heads of household and they have the most authority.


These roles are changing and stereotyping by class isn't smart I guess. Its not that one class is more macho than others. in middle/middle upper/upper class ( bear in mind its really upper and working as there is no real middle) the women have more opportunities and therefore they will less likely want to stay home and be the homemaker. These ladies of the are the American women equivalent.
Author:  Gypsy [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 4:34 am ]
Post subject: 
SparkChaser69 wrote:
It goes all the way to the top. My wife was married to a VERY successful colombian business man, had two sons with him. He was as bad as any latin man or man period, cheating, drinking etc.... The biggest complaint I hear from latinas is they hate the macho attitude of latinos, but I promise you if you show weakness, they will eat you alive.

It took me awhile to get the beat down gringo out of my system and "man up" to handle my colombiana. Things are great now.
Just my dos pesos..... :D

Spark, how did you find out that the man-before-you was that bad? I bet that the man-after-you will also be told about how bad you were too. There's always two sides to the story.
As for "handling women", well sometimes they are so good that they make you think you're in control when in reality you're just following their script.
Of course, if a woman is with a gringo (for whatever reason), she's gonna put him up there where the gringo feel great and can't notice what's going on down here.
You don't know what she's telling her Latino lover and her friends about you! :twisted:
Author:  Shawn4DelRey [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 10:13 am ]
Post subject: 
IMO , the whole "testing" process is just another stupid game that women insist on playing. I don't think it's very manly at all to change anything about your ways to make them happy. Chances are the first time you laid eyes on them you were attracted to them physically and wanted to use their body for sex. It's been said that a woman decides within the first 15 minutes after meeting you whether or not she would be willing to ever have sex with you. Well it dosen't even take us 15 seconds to decide that. Sex is the main and best thing that they have to offer. Most everything else is just baggage and drama. Some guys just can't be happy unless they think some woman has true emotions for them. Those guys will always be stuck having to play these silly games. I'm not anti-novia, but I know if you look for more than poosie you will definately get it and the what you get will often be accompanied by a headache. The way I see it , when a chick thinks it's time for some changes to be made ... she's right! It's time for her to move on. She can go tell her friends and family whatever garbage she wants. Why should I care? Those people aren't important anyway. Chances are I'll be balls deep in some other babe before the last one finishes babbling about me anyway. That's why I come to CR ... SEX. This isn't being mean or macho. It's simply being honest and refusing to change. 8)
Author:  LittleKing [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Well, in defense of women I don't know (speaking about civs only) that it is always a game for them. They may quickly plan when and how to give access to the treasure if he seems to be a man with certain qualities...but usually they want to know before giving it up that it is not about 'just' sex, and a real committed relationship is possible.

There is this lovely provincial peruvian girl I dated, and she definitely had and still has feelings for me. These kind of girls have an amazing simple sweetness Zippy has wrote about, like you can't imagine, that can touch a man's heart very deeply. But the way she was brought up she is nervous about the idea of having sex quickly. Her test for me was that I demonstrate serious intentions about eventually marrying and fathering a babi with her before we might be a couple. My approach was, lets have sex and fun and see how we get along dating, then we can see and decide what the relationship might become. Our current status - we are friends, I am single and dating girls, I told her she is very pretty and she can find a good local man (she still says she'd rather just meet me), but maybe we can meet again.
Author:  Shawn4DelRey [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Sounds like a sweet girl. I have met a few that are that way too. I guess the problem there is that we want to have an idea of how we click with them sexually before we invest much time , money and emotion. Then if things don't work out we get labled "dogs" for talking them out of their panties. :?
Author:  LittleKing [ Sun Oct 28, 2007 11:22 am ]
Post subject: 
Shawn4DelRey wrote:
Then if things don't work out we get labled "dogs" for talking them out of their panties. :?


Of course, we are dogs! In any case what I've found is in this situation as long as no promises were made, and she is not one of the loca's, there may be a little drama, a text or email or two with "eres malo" or some such, and telling you they were crying. It's just something you have to deal with. But they get over it quickly and sometimes remain friends, in one case I am still an "amigo de corazon".
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