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In the past month, I have two large changes in my life: First, I acquired a puppy about a month ago and, last week, I sent my girlfriend home to mommy permanently.
This week I have been reflecting on these two events. Which is better??? My novia or my puppy?
Well, lets start by saying they ARE BOTH high maintenance. However, I will try to contrast the ups and downs of each.
My puppy is having a difficult time with potty training. She shits and pisses all over the house. I have been forced to buy a crate and crate-train her. This still doesn't work. I'll take her out of the crate and walk her. She will spend a half hour outside eating grass and barking at birds. Whats the first thing she does when she gets inside? She shits right on the carpet - in front of my own eyes. Argghhh!!!! My job of cleaning shit is getting old!!! She is also just makes the house smell shit. My maid now needs to come 3x per week, because I just can't keep the place clean. Not a big deal - its only $20 more per week. I'm actually debating hiring a live-in maid/puppy opair. I feel like my job of shit-cleaner, is phucking up the balance in my life. I also need someone to watch her, when I'm on business travel. Funny - my ex-nova used to always blame me when she shitted. "Its your dog. You clean it." (Roughly translated from Spanish). My answer was usually.... Wait!!! You are the one who threw a temper tantrum at the pet store. You wanted the dog, more than me!!!!
Anyway, my puppy is 3 months old. If you extrapolate this into "human years", she is about 21 months old. Lets just round this up to 2 years old.
My ex-novia is 24 years old. Her 25th birthday is just right around the corner. Let me start by staying, that she is an EXTREMELY CLEAN person. When she lived here, the place smelled like a hospital. She cleaned everyday while watching her novelas. Dishes, laundry, carpets... you name it. It was scrubbed everyday. Now, my house smells like a friggin' kennel. I can't keep the dog out of my bed. She jumps on it and plays with dog-shit paws. I have patterns of shit prints on my bed. I like her creative touch decorating my bed, but it smells quite awful. Since her doggie bed is cleaner, than mine. I'll opt to sleep in her bed tonight. I prefer cleanliness to comfort.
My puppy is taking control of my life. However, she always greats me with a friendly smile. Well... she doesn't have lips, so she can't smile, but she wags her tail like crazy and licks my ankles when I walk in the door. Its like I'm the most important thing in her life. Apparently, she is also becoming an important part of my life. I only get a break, when I crate her and go to the gym. She also has this incredible habit called snuggling. She likes to snuggle on the couch or in bed. If I make her go down, because I'm watching TV during dinner, she usually will fall asleep on my feet. She also has a cute snore, which actually aids falling a sleep. Its like listening to a baby sleep.
My ex-novia was also trying to take control of my life. I want this. I want that. You never buy me anything. I want a puppy Chow Chow!!!!!!!!!!! She also had this crazy personality defect. She wanted to start a fight just about everyday. In fact, she would usually walk in the door, pissed off about something and IMMEDIATELY start bitching at me. Sometimes, she would decide to have a temper tantrum in public. For example, she had a crying anger fit after I bought her $100 in clothing. I told her she could spend $100, but not more, as I have budget to live on. So, I made her put a shirt back, because its my checkbook and I didn't want to spend over $100!!! With her $100 bag of clothes clenched in hand, she began crying in front of my friends, while eating at the restaurant at the mall. She said it was because we were speaking english and she felt shame, because she didn't understand. This also made her mad, because I wasn't helping her learn English. I only paid her matricula for well-reputed school in SJ. I had also been negotiating with a girl at the gym, who speaks perfect english, to give her private lessons 3x per week. This is all aside, because I think she is just mad that I made her put the shirt back.
There are many more things I could add to contrast the two changes in my life. One thing that at least adds more serenity to my life, is the ability to crate my dog and go off to classes or the gym. I can complete separate the two and have some "self time." When I come home and let her out, she is happy as hell, but then shits all over the floor. Since she is not even 2 years old in "human years", I'm taking this as a request for attention. I simply grab and plastic bag and cleaner and assume the role of puppy shit cleaner. It only takes 5 minutes, then its wiggle waggle. Daddy - look I'm playing with my favorite bone!!!! Daddy - watch me run around the house like a lunatic!!! Look Daddy - I went downstairs and brought you a present. Your neighbors shoes!!!!! You should try them. They are really chewy and leave a nice finish on your palate.
My girlfriend who is turning 25, which is a little over 3 years in "dog years", actually behaved like she was 14, which is 2 years old in "dog years." Damn - if you extrapolate, they are roughly the same age. I'll assume all of those temper tantrums, were the human equivalent of shitting all over the house, right in front of your eyes.
Wow - this is enlightening!!! I have actually figured out the root cause of her personality defects, by analyzing puppy behavior. It all makes sense now. Well, I think I've made the right decision. I have decided that the puppy stays and the novia goes. In fact, I'm willing to bet that my new puppy, will help attract a new novia who has a job, a car, an education, rational and mature thoughts, and the ability to share happiness.
Whats your vote???
_________________ http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica. In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.
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