www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Chi_trekker:

My reply was not meant to be negative. It was meant to reinforce your decision to move on the implication being that you given the situation more of a chance than it deserved. I am no relationship expert gave up on them long ago. My definition of a relationship now is seeing the same girl more than once. That's not to say that I have not met girls that I could get used to having around for more than a few hours. There are a few girls in San Jose that I've had ongoing relationships with. But those were business relationships. I paid her for her time she provided the proper services.

Lee

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PS: DO NOT SEND MONEY!

Maybe my breakup with my Mexican fiancee after a six year relationship will make you feel a little better. She was from Matamoros, I met her in the US, we had a pretty good long term relationship for a while after I finally taught her the word "gracias" to the point that we built a house in Matamoros and I bought a ranch near Guadalajara. I was planning to retire in Mexico and we were close to getting married. Then just before Christmas 1999 I was down for a visit and she asked me to go into Brownsville for some things for a party. I never made it. I was kidnapped by three armed assholes, one of whom was her cousin who set the whole thing up. Bottom line when two of them left to try to get ransom money from her and left one guy with a gun to guard me, I got untied while he was looking out the window and disarmed and neutralized him. I left and went to the police who basically did nothing (I'm pretty sure one of the kidnappers was a cop). I then returned to the house where she was waiting and pissed because it was late. Her reaction when I explained what had happened, this fiancee who loved me more than anything in the world? She bitched me out for not bringing home the damned groceries. Needless to say that was the last straw for me.

I don't care how much you think you know someone, you don't, only the facade they care to expose to you.

You were lucky, your life was not put in jeapordy.
And always remember, the dog is always number one, if she doesn't love your dog, she doesn't love you.

Goetz

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In heaven there is no beer, that's why we drink it here!

Goetz that had to be AN EYE OPENER!! I would think this type of deal should be expected from really poor desperate types in the world. We as foreigners will always be viewed that we have more than we need & it really isn't that wrong to take advantage of us. The Robin Hood mentality.

Sadly enough your case is not that uncommon.

It has to help your odds in foreign relationships if the women come from god fearing class families but still anything can happen.

Chi's relationship seems very typical too me for the average Tica. Most as I have posted before are simply not very sophisticated & really rather immature. I feel this works well for mongers since it gives the Tica the appearance of innocence to some degree. This on the other hand grates on ones nerves in a full blown relationship.

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"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

Okay. I feel better. Mannnnnn.... I'm sorry to hear about that and glad you made it out alive.

I actually have been advised by a Tico to tell my security NOT to let her on my street.

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http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

Here's the weird thing. I thought I did take my time. We dated for nearly 6 months before she moved in. She had her ups and downs. I guess I was trying to be too sympathetic, because she is young, and focus on her good side.

The problem was - her bad side was soooo ghetto, trashy, rude, fighty and inconsiderate. I guess I thought this is just what you have to deal with in CR. I'm in a foreign country. But, there are good women out there in CR. I see them everyday... at the gym, grocery store, mall, yoga classes... you name it. They are higher class, educated, well-dressed, drive nice cars, most certainly have jobs because they are not married.

The women are certainly plentiful and easy in CR. Shit - I went to a local bar in Escazu last night and picked up a hot little chica within 20 minutes. Got her phone number and we "may" go out tonight. This time I will be a LOT more wise. Sheesh - I feel like Fonzie on Happy Days. There were two groups of chicas. A tico advised me that the one table were prostitutes. I went to the other table and "snapped my fingers" and picked one up.

As gringos, we need to be patient and think with our big heads, not the little heads. To be honest - my ex probably stayed around soooo long because the blowjobs and sex were so extremely good. If I was thinking with my big head, she would have been permanently out the door after a few weeks.

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http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

I leave tomorrow morning to the states and would like to try to make it back down for x-mas, if not than January for sure.

Unless of course, business calls for me to return.
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"If I lived each day as if it were my last I would have been dead a long time ago." - Traylor Park

14. Does she manage to spoil a good time with her attitude?
Bilko,
These are golden (I added a couple updates). It's taken me years to realize just how important these types of questions are.

My most recent ex-wife is Colombian. No, she wasn't a "working girl". She was and still is a good woman and a good person. But she had a few of these characteristics (3, 6, 12 & 14) although they were very subtle. It was only after we were married that I began to see them. Of course no one else saw them so I was the "bad guy".

One of the things that used to really get under my skin was she would do something irrational or stupid and I would call her on it. She would start an argument and eventual focus on my reaction and completely forget what SHE had done to start the entire ordeal.

But all in all it was a good marriage and I have no regrets.

She will admit that she's matured over the last few years but it was too late for us. Fortunately I lost nothing in the divorce and we're still very good friends. She is now remarried and pregnant, which was the final "issue" bringing the marriage to an end.

Every one of us should memorize this list (and probably others). Be honest in your assessment. In my case I probably would have married her anyway but for many the pain down the road for not "seeing" your novia with an open mind can cost you dearly.

Wit

Wit and Bilko - good points.

Here's the biggest requirement for me. Do we make eachother happy? I experienced my parents marriage, which was 30 years of bickering and arguing, and ended in a nasty divorce.

I ask myself - do I want this? Maybe its a good thing I grew up in a dysfunctional home. This is the biggest reason why I gave my ex the boot. She liked to fight and argue over nothing. Do I want 30 years of this bullshit? No. Do I want 3 days of this bullshit? No.

I guess I waited too long to get rid of her, partly because I'm in a foreign country. I felt like my only other options were just like her, or prostitutes. This is my own insecurity. There are lots of cute girls running around Escazu (and other high class barrios) with no jobs, who just live off their parents and HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE ABOUT LIFE. For them, life is still a party. There are also good, higher class women in CR, with jobs and something that resembles what you might see in America. I see them everyday. There are better options.

I know you guys might ask - then why don't you just hitch with a gringa??? What I'm learning living in CR is there isn't much difference. I, personally, believe latinas are HOTTER, cleaner, more loyal and better mummies. Gringas have been ruined by the modern American rat race. However, people are people. A 30 year old tica with a college eduction, and a job, who drives a new Honda Accord, isn't really a whole lot different than her gringa counterpart.

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http://TipsCostaRica.com for pratical advice on living in Costa Rica.
In order to write about life, first you must live it! - E. Hemingway.

Personally, I think the reason we see Ticas acting like Gringas is because of how we treat them. It is all on you brother, not on them!

Latinas have no respect for weak men. They expect their men to take charge. They will test you for weakness and if you fail the test, they will push the limit even further the next time. You must be respectful, but you can't give an inch when they pull that crap. There can be no reward for bad behavior. The worst thing you can do is start acting like a bitch and get emotional along with them (Think John Wayne when Kathrine Hepburn was throwing a temper tantrum, the guy never lost his cool). Arguing with them is the worst thing you can do. If you loose your cool, you are weak, you loose, that is the bottom line!

So many of my brothers have been so beaten down by the women's movement in the US, that they don't know what it means to be a MAN any more. It sounds like you have been putting up with a lot of bad behavior. It got out of hand because you let it get out of hand.

You can make all the lists you want, but if you are not the one wearing the pants and calling the shots then you are going to get nothing but the same. I can tell you right now that a Latino would not put up with that crap!!!!

I agree, that's a good list. I think many lack these traits, because of very low self esteme. The novia can't admit shes wrong to you cause that would be admission to someone she does not respect... and after all how can she respect you, you hooked up with her.

Dang, thats kinda deep but I hear ya.. Not to mention if ur girl is outta ur league anyway..that shines through as well in the form of "misbehaving" or being irrational etc.. why? er, cause they can..


Cujo

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"Pain is the fuel that fans the flames of my pyre. A battle plan is only as good as the general carrying it out on the field. This is my war son, and I have the biggest bombs and the smallest conscience"...

I think its pretty funny. Any of us that have been going to CR for quite some time know that the girls have a certain lack of education, communication skills, maturity, consideration. Often they posses an attitude that exudes a sense of entitlement. My friend you are one of the more lucky ones. You appeared to have gotten out of the relationship with a sense of freedom and a lesson well learned that did not cost you too much. You probably should look back over some of the last 6 years posts and threads in the Novia Rules of Engagement section! LOL!
your story is "Bud Lite" compared to some!

How about the guy who divorces his wife of 30 something years to get with the hot young Tica. Sells and divides everything with the wifey. Buys the house in CR for the novia and herd family, furniture, pays the utilities, appliances,feeds the family. Comes to the US to tie up some loose ends and when he returns to the house he is locked out by the novia. After requesting help from the authorities he was told to leave the property! She told him " How could you think that I could love a man your age!

ditto to all!

fiddie
gettin down and gritty

be there soon

Chi...sorry to hear your problems with your novia, but personally I think you are better off as a person because of enduring the problems, but even better off having made the split. It will just take a while....and there is nothing wrong with remaining "friends with benefits." It's worked for me.

We have talked before about how most of the women in CR think like a 15 year old who just got boobies. Their Cinderella beliefs and expectations are even more exaggerated than young gringas. I heard one guy tell me that his novia actually thought all of us gringos were issued a credit card by the US government and that we don't have to pay the bill.

Any CR chica with a gringo novio tends to become dissatisfied when he does not give her ALL that she ever dreamed of in her Cinderella fantasies. She does not see it as being the result of realistic limits on his wealth. She sees it as him being mean to her and too cheap and selfish to give her ALL thar she wants AND NEEDS. These girls are actually more competitive than gringas in their discussions with each other about what they got their novio to buy for them.

I hear guys suggest that CR women over age 35 are better choices, but all that I have seen have a big butt and are more of a tyrant than a gringa of the same age. It fits with the feed back that I have gotten from Ticos when I have asked "when does the typical Tica change from being a Novella Watching, Party Ho, young girl into the Matriarch who is in charge of the entire family?" Most say that it coincides with the spread of their fanny which seems to occur around age 30. To me, Matriarch and Tyrant are the same.

For me, I now prefer to time-share instead of homesteading chicas. I've played the Captain Save-A-Ho role and while it was not as emotionally difficult and costly as I've heard it's been for others, I just don't see me doing it again. However, I did meet a young chica on my last trip that had me fantasizing what she could become with some help in her life. She was wonderful in bed with beautiful eyes connected to a golden heart! At least she's that way now......

The two most useful words for me now are "No" and "Next" and neither needs to be said with anger or disrespect. If it's not what I want to do, I politely and quietly say no. If she gets all pissy acting, that's when Next comes into play. It's amazing what impact this action has on women, and not just the women in CR.

My friends and I call it "Running Dog Theory" I'll explain; Have you ever noticed how a woman will always chase a running dog that she knows she has no chance of catching. She seems to be compelled by the chase. She doesn't even have to really care about catching the dog. A man on the other hand will simply get a dog biscuit, stand in one place and call the bitch. Thus, Running Dog Theory.

The nice thing about these CRT postings is that we get to make all manner of generalizations about anything and everything that suits our fancy at the time.

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Slut Puppy in Training

Is low self esteem a prerequisite for being a good Ho or is it a result? ;-)

why you didnt think about making prenuptual agreement? or actually do prenuptual agreement.

Still don't understand the need for ownership. And if so you've got to be a ruthless bastard in the beginning and protect your assets. The only way I would do it is if I could control the environment... Sorry things didn't work out though Chi.