www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Honestly this entire train of thought reflects a completely narcissistic point of view. I can guarantee you that the lives of these women are not a fantasy. These are real human beings, with real problems that come from difficult circumstances.

I don't blame you for not wanting to get tangled up in their problems. I learned my lesson just as you have. The difference between you and I is that I don't feel like I have earned the right to judge these women. To suggest that the realities of their lives is in infringement on "your fantasy" is absolutely self centered and arrogant.

Nothing personal, but your view is all too common and makes us all look bad.

Not really on either side per se... Not real sure why it is such an emotional topic for some though..

Savior Complex
Otherwise known as beating your head against a wall...

If you are under the misconception that you could someday fill the attention-cup of the narcissist it is time for a reality check. There is no filling their vast reservoir. You can labor intensively for the rest of your life only to find yourself being condemned by the narcissist for never doing anything for them. (I'm betting you've already heard the narcissist say something like this.) At some point they will push you to utter hopelessness if you have insisted on clinging to the hope that you could ever be enough for them. My advice? Give it up now. Don't wait to hit the dregs of despair. Take that as sage advice from the voice of experience...because that is what it is.

Are you one of those people with a savior-complex? Are you convinced that the narcissist's redemption lies in the vast repository of love and hope you keep your heart? Alas, you have my very deepest sympathies. I assure you, at some point you will find yourself crashed upon the rocks of reality. Reality is this: no one can save the narcissist. How many more years of your life are you willing to waste on a project that is doomed to utter failure? A saviour can only save someone who recognizes their need for salvation. The narcissist is above all that. You are his inferior. You are the one in need of reformation so you can better fulfill the narcissist's endless demands.

And, please, think about this: When you expend yourself to fulfill the demands of the narcissist it is exactly the same as granting every petulant wish of a four year old. Has any four year old become better behaved by this indulgence? Quite the opposite. Neither will the narcissist. By sticking with him you are making him worse.

Stop right here and let that sink all the way in.

By staying with the narcissist you are part of the problem, not the solution. The only hope for the narcissist, as slim as that hope is, is to find himself utterly alone. It is the only time the narcissist has to confront herself. Only a crisis will induce a narcissist to seek out help from a professional. Chances are very small that the narcissist will stick with therapy long enough to deal with their real issue which is their narcissism. Once their presenting problem (i.e. depression) is fixed, they flit off never to be seen by their therapist again. But that isn't your problem either. Life is too short to waste it on someone who can never reciprocate, who is incapable of entering into your feelings, who will suck the life out of you and then kick your corpse as you lay lifeless reviling you for dying on them. Give your regard, your love, your energies to someone who can actually receive and appreciate it.

Senor "Voice of Reason" Bilko,

Is the following a "pussibility?"

I honestly don't have any side on this topic..... I actually love working girls who DATE gringos..... I have gotten many favors off of them in my time down here.. If they have a benefactor, they might be more likely to play with me for less..... I love having a chica in my bed that is paid for by another dude....

3rdW, Another dude pays for your bed? well to each his own...

Those who have been burned are one faction. Another faction are those who are trying a little too hard to resist temptation themselves. There's a term in psychology for this but it escapes me at the moment, but it's a defense mechanism of some sort. I doubt any totally gay man would get emotional about this issue since he isn't tempted by the temptresses... unless you were talking about Pucho's dancers.

..... I love having a chica in my bed that is paid for by another dude....

country.

What makes us look bad - is your side. The locals are actually APPAULED when they see gringos come down here and treat these girls like princesses. Throw money at them. Spoil them. Show them off in restaurants. Take 'em to the mall and walk around with loads of shopping bags. They especially despise seeing the really drunk older guy with a chica 30 years younger in a place like TGIFs.

Give it time and you'll learnn - I hope.

For those of you that tell it like it is (Bilko, Thirdworld, Chi_trekker, etc.), you get so much fire from some because you come here to rain on their parade of hope. In their mind, they're the real deal and because of it, they'll be rewarded (wishful thinking) with the everlasting, faithful love of a young, hot, Latina "lady of the night".
Come on guys, what you do is like telling your 35 years old cousing that there's no Santa Claus!

Happy Holidays Fellow Mongers