www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I think some here are confused. I think the Gringa training has been very effective and I think perhaps some are not able to see beyond it.

There is a BIG difference between "Being in Control" and trying to "Control Others".

I am not interested in controlling or manipulating women, at least not overtly. I am really a pretty easygoing guy. I do not order women around or tell them what to do. I have no interest in that. To the contrary, I do my best to treat them as a gentleman and I do my best not to be arrogant. I try to maintain humble demeanor most of the time.

"Being in Control" is more a demonstration of emotional control, more about not allowing yourself to be manipulated. It is more about being grounded in who you are as opposed to molding yourself to the fickle desires of a chica. In the USA woman have us trained, they pull ALL of the strings.

Being in control is about reclaiming your manhood and making your own decisions as a man, not as someone that is trying to suck to a woman to get her to like you.

Well now I'm more confused I guess you just have to be yourself and the woman who is attracted to that self will be yours and vice versa. If all of the control mechanisms aren't dialed in on both sides then on to the next for her and you. I doubt anyone will be able to change themselves after studying the definitions.

Many guys bring what they've learned in the USA to CR with them and this is why CR quickly becomes "the place I used to monger." Too too many spoiled Chicas in CR. I would love to hear Chicas talking among themselves about Gringos - I often think the conversation would involve them laughing at us.

In CR's favor, it is still a hell of a lot better than mongering in the USA so all is not lost yet (I keep telling myself this). If I lived in FL or TX, I'd surely be going there on the weekends.

Here is why I ask:
My novia, whether ex or current, has been saying lets get together. I say fine when ?? She says soon and I ask he to give me a date and I’ll be there, but no date is ever set. I tell her a specific date and it doesn’t happen or won’t work for her.

I believe that any relationship is 50/50 but there are times when a decision has to be made, whether by you or her.

My mistakes: ( FYI we were at hotels/resorts when we were together)
RFMs were granted about 75% of the time. I had it, didn’t need it so why the hell not.
Got her a phone but after some abuse certain privileges were removed. She still has it and it has been about 2 years now. Some privileges were re-instated temporarily. If I don’t hear from her I will take it back.
When we were together I would ask her what she would like to do. When the answer was “I don’t care” I would say let’s do this and we would. Some times she would say no to whatever but we worked it out. As far as dinner was concerned I would ask where she wanted to eat; again “I don’t care” so I would make the decision. ( I have a few favorites in SJ and other places so we would eat there ) I would also ask if there was a place she wanted to try or was her favorite. Many places she said were really good and inexpensive.

I let her drive a few times but fearing for my life that stopped.

I let her go out to a club with her sister hoping to let her know I trusted her while I went home and read. She got home about an hour or so later and said things were dead. Not in San Jose by the way. I think this backfired on me and the reasons why were not seen.

I have let her know how I feel and that IF some one else comes along I’ll bow out, but not with out a fight.

Now for the rest ( BORING )
She was/is an escort in CR, but not an HDR girl. Has not been in SJ for a while, but is back there now, possible/probably with some one else.
I admit that when it comes to women and relationships I am an emotional cripple and I am confused by their actions. I also admit that I truly love this girl.
My perception of my actions is that I respected her and her wishes. She had a brain and could make decisions that would affect me but I wanted her to have some freedom too. She had a say in the relationship. When needed I would take control and do what I thought we both wanted or would be happy with.

Bottom line: I thought I was doing it right but wasn’t. I guess this is the same for any relationship. From reading many of the posts on this board I can only guess that many members have been through divorces. If those were anything like this, How did you survive ??

I have no idea whether I will ever hear from her again and if we will ever be together anymore. I would very much like to be with her as she was/is the best thing to happen to me in a long time.

And as a final statement: Yes I am screwed up, emotionally by this, but also know that I will get over it. Didn’t I say this a few times before ??
I have every intention of getting back to CR soon. Hopefully, when other things clear up, in late March and I will be mongering. My outlook will be different though.

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Patriot: Ice Road Trucking through the Bearing Sea to recovery

#1, there is NO relationship until you stop giving her money. Period. If you are paying, you are a client. Period. That is EXACTLY where you stand have no doubt about that.

There are two types of clients, those that send money and those that pay only for services rendered. On a certain level, if you are a money sender, you are a sucker, because putas are among the top wager earners in all of Costa Rica. There is a very high likelyhood that she is in a higher percentile of wage earners in Costa Rica than you are in the USA.

Second, why are you asking her anything? The only thing that she needs to tell you is if she is on board with YOUR program or not. You set your own agenda (especially if you are paying) and if she wants to go along, fine. If she doesn't want to go along, that is fine too. You don't need to ask her anything else.

It is up to you to call the shots, it is up to her to decide if she wants to go along or not. It is that simple. If you are letting her make it any more complicated than that, it is your own damn fault and she is the one wearing the pants.

The rest of everything else is just BS.

Initially, she'll likely go along, because she has little to lose, but putas have way more drama and mental problems than 98 percent of other Chicas so it likely isn't going to be long-term simple. Simple in the beginning......

I don't disagree with that at all.

What I am saying is that the approach is simple. Either she is on board with your program or not. How complicated the aftermath is, is up to you. It is a question of how involved in THEIR drama you allow yourself to get.

Patriot, the problem is that she doesn't love you! It is as obvious as the 2 eyes and 2 ears that most people have on their head.

I knew a woman who had a great husband. I didn't know him, but she told me about all that he would do for her so why did she mess around on him? This was many years ago and she isn't a puta - very educated woman. They were actually married. She said that she married him, because he was a super nice guy and because her family expected it. She told me that her mom and sister planned the wedding and basically she just went to the wedding. She messed around on him while engaged and while married and end up divorced.

Stop trying to rescue women! This is what you are doing, plain and simple. You seem to want the ones in the most need so the rescue means that much more.

Well KC, this is what we talk most about on here... the simple beginning and then the rough ending. The problem is that their drama often impacts your life so how is that avoided? This is especially true when they became novias which I thought is the subject matter here. When they aren't novias, it is easy for their drama to remain their own, unless someone steps up to take it on, unless someone wants to involve himself (very true).

Well, my favorite/regular chica I see most every visit to San Jose seizes control at least once each time we are together. I know that is going to happen, I know when it happens and when she leaves, I look back and tell myself that it happened.

It’s when she excuses herself to the bathroom. She puts some lotion of some kind over her entire body. When she opens the bathroom door and strikes that pose completely naked, except for her high heel shoes, she has seized control. Hell, at that point, she can make me write hot checks.

This last visit to San Jose, I was determined not to let that happen. When she opened the bathroom door, struck that pose, I grabbed her, threw her onto the bed, grabbed the stiletto high heel shoes, went to the bathroom, put baby oil all over my body, put her shoes on and then opened the door and struck a pose. For some reason, it didn’t work and she retained the control. But, it ain’t all bad.

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Cigar smoking doesn’t reduce us, it elevates us; It makes us more content to be alone, or it helps us to enjoy our companions. It encourages us to dwell on the simple moments and celebrate the sublime.
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Hung like Einstein and smart as a mule.
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You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor without holding on.

LOL!

Amen.

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Sure, but in this case, we are talking about a client, not a novio. If you are paying, you are not a Novio.

If you are a Novio, then I agree that it can be a bit more complicated, because then you do have a different level of obligation. But even then, it is up to you to set the limits of your involvement.

Latina women especially are looking for stability in a man, and if you are allowing yourself to get caught up in their roller coaster then you are actually taking away from them that what they need most need from you.

Gringos just don't get this. It is not part of their feminist training.

Right, I'm talking novio since we are on the novia forum.

In my opinion, if you spend too much time with them, get too close, it will eventually get complicated. You can attempt to distance yourself, but that isn't so easy being that she is right there in your face. Soon or later, her drama will likely bleed into your life.

They do laugh at us & so do I. I really like to be with 2,3 maybe 4 non hardcore Chicas at one table & only myself. Yes they use me for drinks but it is on my terms I feel since I love what I learn from them. I most likely will not leave with any of them but I love to play with them like this. You really do not learn all that much just sticking your dipstick in them & hearing Papi, Rico etc.

The age old conversations that never end "what you name baby??" "want me company??" "way you from" on & on get real old. Playing fun little games with them lets them open up more with their true feelings. Just a few drinks in them & they are comfortable with being with their friends & they blab away.

Just start clowning with them like hey here comes your novio as a real slobular drunk unkept man walks by. Well maybe this isn't that respectful on my part but just listen to what they say. Most are not that impressed with the typical Gringo to say the least. Maybe they are not that much to write home about either but it is interesting to listen. Many jump in saying you know what that guy over there did to so & so last night?? You know what this guy over there asked me to do?? On & on it goes.

I make fun of myself jokingly they in turn will pile it on me etc. but I always laugh. They see I do not care & don't get mad. Just listen to how they make fun of things it tells a story.

Many times I have heard remarks like "you no Gringo No baby in stomach" "why you no like them??" "who the guapo you with last night"
"see that pretty tica over there, she likes chicas" "why Gringos so stupid" "where you learn to speak like that, YOU LIVE HERE" "that chica over there is no chica but a man" The gossip piles up as it builds steam according to how they feel about you.

They do not respect us much at all but only the power of our money that is obvious. Respect can never be bought it has to be earned. Yes we control them as they jump like hungry puppies for our perceived wealth but most are just going thru the motions. The ones that have been around don't give a shit if they bleed you dry. If you are so weak & dumb to believe their lines of BS you are going to lose your money anyway so it might as well be to them. Who in their right mind respects a wimpy panzy anyway???

I may have a great time with tons of laughs with a group & them. I just say hey its been great but really I have to go. I love it when they start in "no you fun you stay here blah blah". Hell I leave anyway before the conversation starts to go flat. You see them another night & they are waving you over & all are smiling.

Yeah guys they are just a bunch of putas but we are all still humans. What I want is more than some of the quick performances. Something that shows some signs of passion makes a big difference too me. The minute you are not at the table you get a thumbs up or down from these Chiacs but they will always go either way. The time in the room will be much better with a thumbs up & it doesn't take that much effort for the return it can bring. This may sound like BS but It is fun to do because these women are competitive amongst themselves & many will put a lot more into it if you prime the well just a little.

All the nay-syers about learning the language are just missing the largest part of the fun down their IMHO. The more you know the more you have to play with.

CR has so much more to offer it is not even funny. Really most of us have only scratched the surface of CR & don't even know it. I see some guys that are always moaning that Columbia is the utopia & Rio is better why did I come here to CR & so on. Man I don't get this???? There is so much pu*sy all over the place that can be had inside & by far more outside of the gulch. I know we all get complacent as we get older but my God it is a big world of opportunity that awaits the guy that has the guts & energy to pry the doors open. We have some novelty there that we will never have back in our own backyard, for God sake use it!

I see some guys mope around HDR & the gulch saying "its a bad day no good ones here". Man they expect they chica to do everything????? It is easy to get complacent having money & lose our game & creativity. Getting lazy is never a good thing IMHO.

From my experience where ever I have been there are beautiful women to be had but there are areas that have a higher concentration of pretty women than others. I have heard more BS with the distortion of the true numbers than one could imagine. Many men have spouted that there are twice as many females than males in CR. This is not true at all it is about even like most countries. The population of most of these Latin countries has a higher percentage of young people than old plus they are not as fat as the land of the fatest people on the Planet the fast food powered Gringos. This sure explains why we find so many attractive women in these countries.

Lets get real the majority of hot Latinas don't even go to the gulch. They can be very available with less work than a gringa. Yes you need some time to do this but it is doable. It is a small percentage that are spoiled compared to the rest. If you work on what we can control about ourselves example learning the language you can run circles around the type of men that spoil these chicas & better yet get out of the pile of human debris in the gulch were you can really go to town.

The thing that disappoints me the most is how men don't believe in themselves & sell them self short. Hard to reverse the damage that many men have suffered in just a few short trips.

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"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!

Whats the difference ????
Nailed it!!

Most men never will figure this one out & truly believe it IMHO.

_________________
"Run silent, run deep"
Spunk glazed Chicas are the building blocks of the universe!