www.CostaRicaTicas.com

My Brothers:

As a pubic service, I'd like to provide my take on the Novia game. But I digress. First, my credentials:

-> First lay: at 16, I a fat white K*D and she a hot, older, Phillipina [established cred: variety, early entry]
-> Sub-hundred women before Costa Rica. Now, my integer counter in Windows retreats bitch-like when I attempt to count
-> Author, writer producer of many books, lessons, speeches (ok, ok, on computer stuff)

My Main Take-Away, If you Read Nothing Else:

As evidenced above, I'm not new to the game. I've seen many things, fellas, and what I've come across after literally (do the math, I'm 38 ) thousands of hours of research, both in the field and at the helm of my trusty keyboard navigating the troughs and crests of information in this over-hyped card catalog people call the "internet", is that there are exactly three types of women in this world:

-> Those which you can't have, no matter what, thus a moot point.
-> Those which you *can* have, but they cost you a fortune.
-> Those which you *can* have, but they cost you a small fortune.

The Bottom Line:

I think we will all agree (by the very virtue that you're participating on a mongering [aka pay for play] board): women are a necessary evil, unless you like Rosey Palm and her five sisters or like banging hirsute masculine tracero. Agreed? Let's review:

Truisms Regarding Women:

-> Any woman is free to leave you, whenever, wherever, on her terms.
-> Any woman can choose to make you happy, or make you sad.

Truisms Regarding Men:

-> You will pay for one thing or another with regards to a woman, be it a short or long term arrangement. Included in this are marriage, and all forms of monogamy, polygamy and woman-assisted autogamic relief. (Ask El Ciego).
-> Men cannot force a woman to accept nothing, as she is free to choose to require payment or not.

The last truism is important, as it is the entire underpinning of my future business. In another way, your game will determine how much of a "traditional" (and that is a wide, WIDE swath of terminology here) girlfriend/guyfriend relationship your pay-for-play resembles after the shipped contents have settled -- so to speak -- and you review the entire situation with a calm head and a pure mongering heart.


Conclusions:

-> If you plan on using the word NOVIA to describe your relationship with a professional sex worker, I truly have some excellent business opportunities awaiting me for counseling gringos in the after mess of Hurricane Bitch-Took-My-Money. You see gentlemen, excluding the rare percentage (what, 2-5%, max?) of guys that end up with Cinderella stories, the term "Girlfriend" (en espanol, Novia) needs to be thought of as an 'amusement' term by professionals (us), and a misnomer of correctable proportions when used by newbies.

Reality Check: I'd hate to pull the research up, but I'd hazard a guess on this board alone that we could find tens to multiple-tens worth of example novia-breakups. I would also heavily believe that the reasoning would come down to two things, primarily: jealousy and currency.

-> Your girlfriend today was someone else’s girlfriend yesterday, and will undoubtedly be someone else’s girlfriend in a couple of days more.

Going Forward:

-> Suggestion: Let's scrap the oft-used and misunderstood term, "Novia". That's simply phucking parlor talk, and it confuses the hell out of newbies and we, as mongrels that must hold the backbone up for the profession, should ditch this word as it does our mutual intellect a great disservice. We know the truth can set us free, and our disillusionment with this word and the connotations within the context of the conversations that we employ it in is scary at best, irresponsible at worst.

-> I propose a new term: "Muchacha Del Corte Alquiler, como una Novia, jaja" - short rental women. If you can't get that mouthful of spanglish from yours-truly out, try "ho". If that's too harsh on your palette, try "chick". They really are simpler, and more accurate terms.

-> You may have her heart, and she may have yours. But a reality check is in order. It's called the "SEARCH" button folks, and for any doubters out there, we could put together a post called "Reasons Not to Have 'Novias'." Would be a top scoring read, I believe.

DISCLAIMER:

I know, I know. I'm a soul-sucking shell of a man who hides in the loathsome nether-regions of your conscious. But verily I say to you, the truth is waiting for you and your wallet will thank you.

"Tom, bitch dependency is no laughing matter." -- A Pimp Named Slickback [Boondocks, (c) 2006, 2007]

Experimenting with the peyote again, eh Zeebra?

Ciaociao

I can see you live in the real world and don't allow fantasy in your game plan. I -prefer hookers since it is the least expensive male-female relationship. I have been to Mexico, Pananma, Argentina, etc. but never to Costa Rica. My buddies and I are celebrating out 40th in Jaco. Since I can tell you are a straight shooter and educated could you please take time out and give me all the do's and don't. where to go and not to go. What to do and not do. How are the party favors, hookers, local police, driving habits of locals, gangs, food, water etc. I have already rented a house on the beach so accomdations are done. Thank you very much for taking time out to help a newbie to Costa Rica. We will be there in July

Champ

i want to add age factor.
when i was 20th the setup was much different from today's
my 60th.woman plainly want make money of me no matter what.
free ride not in books anymore.

Champ, you are in for a good vacation. Party, hsve fun, treat the chicas and locals well and avoid drunken boorish behavior at all costs. You will have then a great trip. Ticos are pretty nice folks in general. Also, consider taking the Calypso catamaran cruise from Puntarenas to Isla de Tortugas for one of your days there.

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Providing humanitarian assistance to self employed chicas, one cash grant at a time.

double post..

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Providing humanitarian assistance to self employed chicas, one cash grant at a time.

And what good peyote it can be. Are you going to eat that last supernova or may I have it?

oh, go ahead and get tanked up at least once while youre there, we don't want people in CR to start liking us, the place will get overun with gringos.

Tanked up? More like SuperTanker.

I drink like a virgin sturgeon swims - erratic and upstream.

I really have no drinking problem -- I drink too much and then fall down, no problem.

But in all seriousness, keep your bottles of 21-year old Ron Centenarrio away from me. Muff will testify I was about to sell my last bit of pocket lint for another swig on that old and gloriously butter-flavored teet.

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