www.CostaRicaTicas.com

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much.
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT????!!!"

So she says the words that every man on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits.

She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewellry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings.

Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."

She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"


Apparently I'm not having sex again tonight.

OMG Paco....that IS very loco!!! what a move!!!

I ran into a guy at the bar with a black eye like mine. "How did you get your black eye?" I asked. "Well, it was a Freudian slip. You see, I was walking through the park when I saw a rather large breasted woman with two beautiful Ch*ldren. I walked by to compliment her K*ds, but when I tried to say, 'You have some lovely K*ds,' I accidentally said,'You have some lovely tits.' So she hit me. How did you get yours?"
I replied, "Well, I also had a Freudian slip. I was sitting down to breakfast with my wife of twenty years, and I meant to say, " Honey would you please pass the milk?' but instead it came out, "Thanks for ruining my life you phucking bitch."

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Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

hahahaha....now that one I like!....hahahaha

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

Have you guys got Alzheimer’s?

Here is a link to this exact joke. Sorry Paco! Your name is even on ace's byline!

Only about 40 days ago!

https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/vi ... php?t=8313

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GG
"Last time I said no......I misunderstood the question!"

Paco your jokes suck...Good Job GG!!! Try to find one that isn't already posted next time.

Both are great.

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Hanging in Laurelas with the Paisas