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Headlines from the year 2029
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=7814
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Author:  Witling [ Sat Aug 20, 2005 6:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Headlines from the year 2029

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as California. White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

Baby conceived naturally! Scientists stumped!

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will be at least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces weekly mail delivery to Wednesday only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter speed so fast, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of previously illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Author:  SparkChaser69 [ Sat Aug 20, 2005 6:59 pm ]
Post subject: 

Wit, Thats some funny shit. Try to keep the humor where it belongs in this section :wink:
Sparky

Author:  RBC100 [ Sat Aug 20, 2005 7:03 pm ]
Post subject: 

Nice work Wit,Certianly hope I am not still in the US by then.Hope to find a better place.rbc100

Author:  Circus [ Sat Aug 20, 2005 8:20 pm ]
Post subject: 

YO Wit:
Good work mi amigo. The problem is that a few of those have a remote possibility of happening.

Let me add something that is not funny and is alarming with a taste of sad reality in the future.

As I spoke awhile back about the City of New London, Connecticut as to the Pfizer Corp. getting the city to condem private homes on waterfront property so they could pay the City pennies on the dollar and grab the land. The Supreme Court (unfucking believable ) ruled in the city behalf and stated they could seize the property under Eminent Domail. Do your own research as to the justices that voted in favor of New London. I will not make this political.

UPDATE: Not only are these homeowners and a business going to lose their homes and property......The Wonderful New London city council has now decided to back charge these homeowners with FIVE YEARS (length of the lawsuit) back rent (commercial rates) along with taking their property. That means that these people who only wanted to live in their homes will not only lose their property but will now owe the city thousands of dollars.......also will be homeless since there is no money to buy another home.

I can understand this happening in 3rd world dictatorships but .....the USA.
SICK.

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