|
A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5
birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them,
how many will be left?" She calls on little Johnny.
He replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"
The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4,
but I like your thinking,"
Then Little Johnny says "I have a question for
YOU. There are three women sitting on a bench
having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The
second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone.
The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal,
replied "Well I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top
and sucked the cone" To which Little Johnny
replied, "The correct answer is the one with the
wedding ring on, .........but I like your thinking.
___________________________________________________________
Little Johnny returns from school and says he got an F in
arithmetic. "Why?" asks the father. "The teacher asked
'How much is 2x3?' I said '6'" "But that's right!"
"Then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"
"What's the phucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's what I said."
_________________________________________________________
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher
says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class.
Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me,
Miss Rogers, me, me!' Miss Rogers: 'All right,
little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?' Little Johnny says,
'Mas-tur-bate.' MissRogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny,
that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
__________________________________________________________
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom
in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing
a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in
*The Act*. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims
"Oh, boy! Horsey ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?"
Daddy, relieved that Johnny's not asking more
uncomfortable questions, and seeing the opportunity not to
break his stride, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts going to town.
Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and gasping. Johnny cries out
"Hang on tight, Daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman
usually get bucked off !"
_____________________________________________________________
Little Johnny was sitting in class one day.
All of the sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled
out,"Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!" The teacher replied, "Now,
Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation.
The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.'
Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence
correctly, and I will allow you to go." Little Johnny thinks for a
bit, then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be
a ten!!!"
____________________________________________________________
One day, during a lesson on proper grammar,
the teacher asked
for a show of hands from those who could use
the word "beautiful" in the
same sentence twice. First, she called on
little Suzie, who
responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and
she looked beautiful in it." "Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher.
She then called on little Michael.
"My mommy planned a
beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.
"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the
teacher called on little Johnny. "Last night,
at the dinner table,
my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said,
"Beautiful,
......just phucking beautiful!'"
_________________
GG
"Last time I said no......I misunderstood the question!"
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
Calendar
