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AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES
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Author:  Irish Drifter [ Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:13 pm ]
Post subject:  AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic.
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat
and presto, the blockage will be almost instantly
removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing
vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while
you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the
toilet seat by simply using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut
yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing
the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to
sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of
laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a
hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

And also remember the rules of life:

You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it
doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it
shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get
another chance.

And finally, be really nice to your family and
friends; you never know when you might need one of
them to empty your bedpan.

Author:  Grey Ghost [ Thu Jun 16, 2005 10:21 pm ]
Post subject: 

Good stuff, DD! :lol:

Author:  JazzboCR [ Mon Jul 30, 2012 6:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

Practical advice--everything is usable.

Author:  Irish Drifter [ Mon Jul 30, 2012 6:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

JazzboCR wrote:
Practical advice--everything is usable.


Jazz, say it ain't so. You going back to dumpster diving :?: :lol: :P

Author:  JazzboCR [ Mon Jul 30, 2012 7:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

I'll quit if you want me to but a whole generation has come up since this stuff was first published, and Heaven knows we could all use a break. No single jokes, just compilations of sage advice and miscellaneous knee-slappers. And you'll agree it keeps me from turning my dazzling wit on bozos and the unsuspecting. I'll behave now...

Author:  Krico [ Mon Jul 30, 2012 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

great stuff ID. thanks for bumping it Jazz.

Author:  Irish Drifter [ Tue Jul 31, 2012 9:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

JazzboCR wrote:
I'll quit if you want me to but a whole generation has come up since this stuff was first published, and Heaven knows we could all use a break. No single jokes, just compilations of sage advice and miscellaneous knee-slappers. And you'll agree it keeps me from turning my dazzling wit on bozos and the unsuspecting. I'll behave now...


Brother Jazz was just having a little fun that is why I added the :P

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