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PostPosted: Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:05 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Location: Land of Milk and Honeys
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The judge tells Mickey that he can not file for divorce on grounds that Minnie is crazy.

Exasperated, Mickey throws up his hands and says¨For the last time judge, I did not say Minnie was crazy, I said she was phucking Goofy´´


BKTUNA
I am never going home


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PostPosted: Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:52 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Bktuna wrote:
Mickey and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. The judge tells Mickey that he can not file for divorce on grounds that Minnie is crazy.

Exasperated, Mickey throws up his hands and says¨For the last time judge, I did not say Minnie was crazy, I said she was phucking Goofy´´


BKTUNA
I am never going home


Good one..

_________________
"THE TRUTH IS' EVERYBODY IS GOING TO HURT YOU. YOU JUST GOTTA FIND THE ONE WORTH SUFFERING FOR"
Robert Nesta Marley


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 15, 2010 12:25 pm 
Florida wrote:
Spanky wrote:
Squidface wrote:
some members are even doing prostitutes after they pee in the street :!: :!:


No. GR refused to do her after she pissed on the street. It disgusted him. :lol: Florida is on record saying he would have done her. :D Please get your facts correct! Like the Italians bombing Pearl Harbor!
:D and i would have phucked her ass too :D :twisted: with my 2 inch C*ck :D :shock: GR refusing to phuck her that night really bogles my mind :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: :roll: who knows maybe thinking of ID and wanting to sleep with a miserable impotent know it all :D Who is fleeing Dodger blue :?: good job Manny you worthless pos :!: :!: :!: :arrow: :roll: Manny go phuck yo self 8) :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

:evil: :evil: DODGERS SUCK :evil: :evil:


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PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 4:40 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 2:20 pm
Posts: 657
The Lone Ranger was ambushed and captured by an enemy Indian War Party.
>



>
>
> The Indian Chief proclaims
>
> "So, YOU are the great Lone Ranger" ...
>



>
>
> "In honour of the Harvest Festival,
> YOU will be executed in three days.."
>
> "Before I kill you, I grant you three requests"
>
> "What is your FIRST request???'
> The Lone Ranger responds, "I'd like to speak to my horse."
>



> The Chief nods and Silver is brought
> before the Lone Ranger who whispers in
> Silver's ear, and the horse gallops away.
> Later that evening, Silver returns with
> a beautiful blonde woman on his back. As the Indian Chief watches, the blonde enters the Lone Ranger's tent and spends the night.
>



> The next morning the Indian Chief admits
> he's impressed..
> "You have a very fine and loyal horse",
> "But I will still kill you in two days."
>
> "What is your SECOND request???"
>
> The Lone Ranger again asks to speak
> to his horse.
> Silver is brought to him, and he again whispers in the horse's ear.
> As before, Silver takes off and disappears over the horizon. Later that evening, to the Chief's surprise, Silver again returns, this time with a voluptuous brunette, more attractive than the blonde.
>



> She enters the Lone Rangers tent
> and spends the night.
>
> The following morning the Indian Chief
> is again impressed.
> "You are indeed a man of many talents,"
> "But I will still kill you tomorrow."
>
> "What is your LAST request ???"
>
> The Lone Ranger responds,
> "I'd like to speak to my horse, .... alone."
> The Chief is curious, but he agrees,
> and Silver is brought to
> the Lone Ranger's tent.
>
> Once they're alone, the Lone Ranger grabs Silver by both ears, looks him square in the eye and says,
>
> "READ MY LIPS!!!!"

FOR... THE.... LAST... TIME...
>
>
> "BRING POSSE


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 Post subject: haircut
PostPosted: Thu May 26, 2011 11:25 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 2:20 pm
Posts: 657
Hair cut time A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"The barber looked around the shop full of customer and said, "About 2 hours."The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours."The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?"The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half."The guy left. The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor. Follow that guy and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but then he doesn't ever come back." He must be going some place where he gets seen right away.A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically.The barber asked, "So, where does that guy go when he leaves?"Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"


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PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2011 8:49 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:31 pm
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SH, good one!


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PostPosted: Sun May 29, 2011 6:41 am 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 2:20 pm
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


WHERE DID THE WHITE MAN GO WRONG?


Indian Chief, "Two Eagles," was asked by a white government official, "You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done."
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, "Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?"
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. "When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, Plenty beaver, Clean Water; Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; All night having sex."

Then the chief leaned back and smiled. "Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that.”


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 Post subject: 5 rules for men
PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:01 am 
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Five rules for men to follow for a happy life.

1.. It's important to have a women who helps at home,
cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and
who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and
who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not
know each other.


Sincerely

Tiger Woods


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:25 am 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:31 pm
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Herschel, the Magnificent Jew

http://holycannoli.posterous.com/hersch ... ficent-jew


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PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2011 10:28 am 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Fri Jan 06, 2006 6:31 pm
Posts: 778
Touring Wales



On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving through Wales .

At the town of, Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the very blonde waitress, “Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us… Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?”


The girl leaned over and said, “Burrr.... Gurrr.... King.”


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 Post subject: cook my sock
PostPosted: Thu Jun 02, 2011 4:28 pm 
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Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 2:20 pm
Posts: 657
A man gets up one morning to find his wife already in the kitchen cooking.

He looks to see what she's cooking, and sees one of his socks in the frying pan.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk," she replied

Completely puzzled, the man walks away thinking to himself, "I don't remember asking her to cook my sock..."


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 Post subject: Tiger Woods explained
PostPosted: Tue Jun 14, 2011 9:48 am 
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Subject: Tiger's Wood Explained

>

> This is what happened to Tiger but in terms that we can understand...

>

> Two Woodpeckers...

>

> A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about

> which country had the toughest trees.

>

> The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could

> peck.

>

> The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in

> the tree with no problem.

>

> The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.

>

> The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a

> tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeckable' (a term frequently used by

> woodpeckers).

>

> The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted

> the challenge.

>

> The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully

> pecked the so-called 'impeckable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

>

> Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian

> woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was

> able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in

> their own country?

>

> After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion:

>

> Apparently, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home


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PostPosted: Thu Jun 16, 2011 9:17 pm 
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--------------------------------------------------------------------------------







HER DIARY

Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.

Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.

On the way home I told him that I loved him , he simply smiled and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say I love you too. My heart just sank.

When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched T.V. He seemed distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.





HIS DIARY



I shot the worst round of golf in my life today, but at least I got laid.


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PostPosted: Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:14 pm 
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Here's the truth.....

Imagine living with 3 wives in one compound and never

leaving the house for 5 years - It is now believed that

Bin Laden called the US Navy Seals himself.


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PostPosted: Sat Jul 09, 2011 2:22 pm 
Masters Degree in Mongering!

Joined: Sat Aug 30, 2003 2:20 pm
Posts: 657
An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when he spotted a sweet young thing...

He asked the trainer that was near by "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?"

The trainer looked him up and down and said;

"I would try the ATM in the lobby".......


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