www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Once again, I'm trying to make the post of the month something that can be fun and open to everyone. Last month, Snooky took the most embarrasing moment post so I thought We would come up with a new hook!

OK HERE ARE THIS MONTHS RULES! Write the funniest fictious or ACTUAL email from a CR Lady to a Gringo!

Couple of ground rules!
1. Two paragraphs Only
2. If someone already has written it IN THIS SECTION ONLY! Then yours must be original.
3. Of course asking for money will be the theme but who can come up with the best request.

PER LEES REQUEST YOU CAN ALSO GIVE US YOUR BEST RESPONSE TO A TICAS REQUEST FOR MONEY!

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Let me know if you think this is a stupid Idea, I just thought I'd try to make this something to have fun with!
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Thank you for supporting CRT!

Admin 1:

Could you broaden your rules to include the best reply to a request for money. I think I might have a shot at whining that one.
Lee

Fictious? Why not limit the contest to ACTUAL emails sent to Gringos? It may be difficult to prove the authenticity, but after all, we are on the 'honor system' here for the most part, are we not? I personally have received some unbelievable, incredible and hilarious emails/requests from chicas over the years. As the saying goes..."the truth is stranger than fiction"!

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"In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upwardly mobile, and the rest of us are phucked until we can put our acts together; not necessarily to win, but mainly to keep from losing completely"...Hunter S. Thompson (RIP)

O.K. I'm game,


Chica............ Enviar Dinero Por favor, mi Amor.
....................... ( send money please, my Love )



Me.................. NO
....................... ( NO )



I'm kind a Nucknfuts

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Throughout the history of mankind there has never been one shred of evidence that supports that life is serious..........
Don't believe everything you think ............

Ok here is mine.

Dear Jhon Doe, I will no longer be with you because the house you bought here is not on my name and I can't afford the $100 you are asking for rent

This is not shit story. If anyone wants details PM.

Mente

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Tico and Panama, let me know if you need any help down here.
Panamaexplorers.com

And I thought that i was a dumb gringo! A house.....estaba stupido!

she wanted money for a face job....told her that her face was as my ass was...muey bonito, she recanted, as my ass was pretty to her.

Dearest Papi,

It has been 20 minutes since you have left and life has not been the same. Sadly my mama just told me she needs medicine in order to breath. My little brothers wodden leg was eaten by termites when i arraived home and our house was sucked up by a tornado for parts unknown.

My love i do not want to work at Del Rey but i feel i might have to because there is an american foorball team coming down and they pay in cien. Please save me from the big strapping younger men and send me 50,000 american dollars so my mother can breath, my baby brother can get a plastic leg, and we can move out of the Kentucky Fried Chicken freezer that i am living in since my house was taken to OZ. I would not ask my love but our magical 5 minutes of love keeps me warm at night and I truely need 60,000 american dollars.

Sincerely,
Anna Maria Roberta Pinero Robles Rodriguez AKA BEBA

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To really make them appear authentic, you'd have to run them through something like the babelfish translator to make them semi-unintelligible and I don't know if I want to read too many letters like that.

Lee: Don't whine. Just say no!

Actual e-mail, received yesterday from the cousin of my
"SEND MONEY TICA", who I have been ignoring-
[It required almost no editing, my corrections in brackets]
*******************************
HELLO TEX HOW ARE YOU.
I EXPECT THAT WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN [you] AND MY
COUSIN NOT AFFECT MY FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU.
PLEASE NOT FORGET ME. I OFFER YOU MY UNCONDITIONAL FRIENDSHIP..

WHEN YOU BE IN COSTA RICA DO NOT DOUBT TO CALL ME, I ALWAYS WAS WANTING YOU. DO NOT TAKE IT BADLY, BUT KNOW THAT MY COUSIN [does] NOT KNOW THAT I WRITE BECAUSE [she] IS ANGRY AT YOU. YOU DESIRE THE BEST AND RECALL THAT I AM YOUR FRIEND AND HAVE WHAT YOU WANT. TEX YOU RESPOND TO ME. I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I AM NOT SO EVIL AS HER. YOUR CAN DISCOVER ALL YOUR DESIRES WITH ME.

(the cousin)

CR phucking sucks

Love of My Broken and Inconsolable Life,

I AM NOT ASKING FOR MONEY! Last week I started a new job at a recently opened tourist inn. True, the entire staff consists of just me and the elderly (ancient) gringo proprietor. Fortunately, the gringo proprietor is often drunk and so I am afforded ample opportunity to fleece the guests. Unfortunately, there are no guests. The gringo proprietor even sends me on missions to pilfer knapkins from nearby establishments so as keep operating costs down. He even suggested I could receive bonus money by returning with rolls of asswipe (even if slightly soiled).

Please, do not be alarmed My Love! The denizens of the neighborhood, transvestites all, have taken me under their wings (rather, hairy armpits) and provided part time employment cleaning their drawers at 100 colones a skid. I feel there is more of a future dealing with skid marked drawers than hostessing the Ancient Gringo's new tourist inn. Would you consider LOANING me 50 thousand dollars to expand my cleaning enterprise?

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

bumped with love

(Setting: IM Conversation with webcam)

Chica: con quien estas en tu casa con otra; with whom are you with in your house, with another?
Elroy: Quiero ver tu culo; I want to see your ass
Chica: quiero aserte una propuesta quiero que te bengas a vivir con migo aca en costa rrica porfabor; I want to assert a proposal to you, I want you to come to live with me in Costa Rica Please.
Elroy: tu vas a tomar quidado de mi y vamos a vivir feliz junto par siempre; Are you going to take care of mi and we will live happily together forever and ever.
Chica: claro que yo voy a ver por ti y todo feliz; Of course, I will look after you and always happy
Elroy: que rico; sweet

Elroy: y mucho lluvia aqui hoy, and we are having alot of rain here (Miami) today.
Chica: cuando te bas a desidir siempre te voy acuidar hasta que dios desida; when are you going to make a decision. You always going to "acuidar" until God decides?
Elroy: estas en hilo dental? Quiero ver tu culo. Are you in a thong? I want to see your ass