BashfulDwarf wrote:
We all have our issues. Some more than others. I have an issue with “sharing” … though not in the way that you think about it. I have no issue tagging a chica that every one of my friends have tagged, and I don’t even care if they all said it was lousy. If I find a chica attractive, I wanna try her out. I like reading chica reviews and will actively seek out ones that I am interested in, good reviews or bad (though problem chicas I avoid).
For me, it’s the ‘special’ chica syndrome. And this does not mean a ‘favorita’, or even mean a chica that I have actually met. I am referring to a chica that somehow catches my eye (for the first time or due to association), and creates an immediate desire to have her, regardless of whether I am actually interested or not. Let me give you an example.
I’m in San Jose with friends. I’ve been banging em out all day, and we leave Alcazar around midnite having just finished with a chica there. I’m happy, and ready for bed. The guys want to check out Josephine & Nicholes. I go just to be company, and I’m sitting there watching the rotation and drinking Everest (grapefruit soda).
I see a chica, sitting bored, youngish, trailer trash, in panties. Obviously new to the stripping game, she’s not got the wardrobe. She dances. None of the guys are interested. She’s not their style. But me, I am instantly interested, but I know a session isn’t going to be any good because I am totally exhausted. So I just steal glances in her direction for a while, satisfied with that. Then she gets a client.
This is my problem. SHE’S MINE! What the hell does he think he’s doing fondling MY GIRL!
If any of you remember my very first trip report, it almost ended badly when a chica I ‘liked’ was sick, and a buddy (after making sure I was not interested in her) went and made the score. It fuked me up. I had to leave. Well, at J&N’s this nite, I had to leave.
Last Thanksgiving at Sportsmens, there’s a gorgeous chica at the bar. She’s sitting next to a regular at the bar, and I assume she’s with him. I am admiring her along with BB57, Graywolf and Santa’s Bro. After a while, Graywolf gets up to hit the john, and on the way back, collects her and brings her to meet Santa’s Bro. Now that I see her close up, I can honestly say that she was the most beautiful woman I have ever set eyes on. I was instantly jealous and started hoping that my good friend Santa’s Bro would choke to death on his turkey. As he leaves the table with her to go have a drink, I had that same damned feeling of loss, and anger. At least I had the balls to get her number before I once again, had to leave. Now, just so you know, I had already banged out 3 for the day, and was not wanting any company that night.
In MDE, I went to Fase Dos with a couple of guys, and one guy we just met at Mansion took us there (he was the only guy that knew where it was). There was a chica sitting that had the hair and face that I liked, but I had given the new friend first dibs on whatever he wanted. That son of a bitch takes MY GIRL!!! Now, in all honesty, I did not say that I was interested, so he did not disrespect me or anything like that, this was all happening within my own mind. Ruined the fukin nite for me. I sat there for an hour or so while they went off to have fun. I sat in a strip club, right at the stage, and had no fukin interest in anything else in the bar.
This is a fukin problem, and I have not yet figured out how to isolate it and excise it from my personality. It happens enough to not be a one-off feeling. But it ruins things for me. It ruins everything.
There have been nites that I have walked back to my apartment thoroughly pissed with myself because the ‘only’ chica in the HDR got snapped up while I was ‘not grabbing her myself’. Gawd damn, the negative feelings it generates are bad, and I have never learned how to deal with them.
Yeah, I know. “Just get over it.”. “NEXT!”. “Always more fish in the sea.”. Blah blah. I know all this shit. What is it that triggers this kind of possessiveness over me?
Know this threat is old as Phuck, but it is your ego IMO. I have similar issues , read up on how to get it in check.