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WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=47146		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Diablo [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:58 am ]
Post subject:  WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
Coming back from another week on the formerly forbidden island and a week in the DR, I was passing thru the TSA checkpoint and was subjected to a new test that they didn't have on my last trip 6 months ago. After the hands up body scan, the TSA agent rubbed my hands with a few papers and put them in a scanner. When I asked him what that was all about, he told me that it was a scan for explosives. Well, I didn't think that this would be any problem and that I would be on my way in a second. WRONG ! He said that the scan on my hands had come back positive and showed me the results on the machine. I was then directed to another agent who took those papers and ran them through all of my luggage compartments. Negative. Thinking that I was done, I started putting my shoes, belt, etc back on, but no, I then was told that I would have to go in a private room for a more intimate pat down. So here I am in this little room with two grizzly looking TSA agents that describe the intimate pat down procedure, and then asked if I had any questions before they started. I immediately asked if I could have someone better looking than them do the procedure--one agent remained stone faced, while the other agent cracked a smile and said it would cost extra, to which I replied that I would gladly pay. Anyway we go thru the procedure without any problem, but I had to ask them what would set the test off since I hadn't touch a gun, or anything in over 3 months. The agent said he wasn't exactly sure what set it off, but could have been some of the creams in foreign countries that contain more glycerin, component in nitroglycerin. Boom, a light went off in my head. The night before, I was with my Haitiana, who I had been with for 5 days, and had used up all my lubricate, as she needed culo action everyday. On the last night, when she said " en mi culo, mon cheri " again, we had to use some of her body cream, which, obviously had a high percentage of glycerin. This gave me the biggest chuckle, which I didn't share with the TSA agents. So, beware you culo afficionados, expect delays
Author:  drf007 [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 1:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
Saw the same thing at McCarron when I left Vegas last June. Just picked every 5th or 6th passenger and rubbed their hands with that paper you were talking about. At the time I had no idea what it was for. Thanks for the heads up.
Author:  Orange [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
Diablo wrote:
So here I am in this little room with two grizzly looking TSA agents that describe the intimate pat down procedure,

Did they use one finger or two? Was it one guy or did they take turns violating you and your rights?

Seriously, they have those machines at LaGuardia, and I've been scanned a couple of times. Usually one of my hands, and one of my bag. Never any hits though.
Author:  Zunbake3 [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 3:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
I once told a TSA agent after a pat down in a private room "I hope I'm gonna have a lot more fun in Costa Rica then just now"!. He didnt like the joke.
Author:  Ilv4play [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 5:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
I sometimes take my Dewalt hammerdrill with me and check it in my baggage. Because I go to mine sites I sometimes get the explosive residue test positive. I tell them I have my drill in my checked baggage and that it is probably from that. I show them my boarding pass with the baggage tag and I do not think they ever checked my bag after that. I did end up in San Francisco once with my 9mm in my carryon. I had caught a puddle jumper to get home for the holidays a few years ago and I always travel with my S&W 9. I hit a deer on my way over so I left my car at the body shop to get fixed and caught a flight home out of a little muni airport with non existent security. I completely forgot about my gun in my bag but when I got into my bag for something waiting for my connection, I saw it in there and just stared at it wondering what I was going to do with a loaded 9mm in my carry on in SFO airport. After a few minutes I went to the gate person and said I don't want to alarm you but I happen to have something in my bag that needs to be checked so it is not in my possession on the plane. She asked what is was and I told her is was a loaded handgun and I need to have someone go with me so I can unload it and check it. She didn't even flinch and said here fill this out and you can come around the counter and unload it back here where others wont get excited seeing you with a gun. I unloaded it put it back in the case and she put the firearm declaration in the bag with it and said thanks well make sure it arrives with you at your destination. I seemed like an everyday thing they encounter at the gate. I was more freaked out by it than she was.
Author:  Keeper50 [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 8:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
On a recent trip out of FLL, I discovered that my watch had gone missing after being sent thru in the plastic tray. After a couple minutes, during which no one from the TSA stepped up to help, one of the female attendants went to the back and brought my watch to me. I asked her "what happened" and she said that it "fell out". I asked skeptically "fell out?" and she just nodded. Unless the tray actually flipped onto its side, it was hard to believe.
I felt fortunate that I had noticed that it wasn't there. I am convinced that someone there had done it on purpose. So, Be careful.
Author:  Milhouse7 [ Thu Mar 26, 2015 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
That machine is going to be ringing like a Vegas penny slot machine in Texas airports.
Author:  JazzboCR [ Sun Mar 29, 2015 11:14 am ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
Milhouse7 wrote:
That machine is going to be ringing like a Vegas penny slot machine in Texas airports.

Not that you owe me but some further words on this?
Author:  8ball [ Wed Apr 01, 2015 5:09 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
That's a pretty elaborate story just to brag that you got some butt sex
Author:  Jackietrehorn [ Thu Apr 02, 2015 12:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
This is not new. They've been using these sniffers for years. World of caution, if you shoot guns hunting or on the range the day before you travel you could show up positive. I asked one of the guys about that and he said vigorous washing of the hands and clothes usually works.
Author:  Ilv4play [ Thu Apr 02, 2015 4:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
I have been pulled aside over a dozen times and never had a problem after my explanation. If you are not doing anything wrong you have nothing to worry about. I deal with secure & restricted environments all the time so I am used to the minor inconvenience and I do not get all pissy with the people doing their job but I do try and get them to laugh.
Author:  JazzboCR [ Thu Apr 02, 2015 5:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: WARNING: My lastest TSA experience
Ilv4play wrote:
I do not get all pissy with the people doing their job but I do try and get them to laugh.

Great advice in nearly any situation, especially where front-line folks (who catch a ration of sh!t all day every day) can deny or delay something, or make it happen easier/faster--their choice. Not to say you have to play the clown, but a little humor, some empathy goes a long way. Better for you, better for them.
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