1) If tomatoes are technically a fruit...is ketchup technically a smoothie?
2) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit...wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
3) So sad that the US is 25th in math skills...but at least we're in the top 10.
4) I don't refer to the toilet as "the john"...I call it "the jim". It sounds better to say I go to "the jim" 1st thing every morning.
5) If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be..."bad at following instructions".
6) I just want Bros to accept me for what I pretend to be.
7) I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death...but then I'm in no hurry.
The number of extra steps I take when drinking is...staggering.9) A lot of people say I'm indifferent...but I don't care.