I just had to tell these two stories, if anyone has any good ones, add to the fun....
I've been a proud monger for 10 years now and have made about 1/2 dozen converts to the mongering lifestyle, I am currently working on two of my friends, two of us are late 50's one is early 60's. When I told them of our hobby, both said "Do those girls take advantage of you ???"
Friend one, names have been changed to protect the stupid, let's call him "Dim".
Dim is recently separated from his fat (easy 200+ lbs) bitchy wife, she wants a divorce after 30 years and ordered him out of the house. He earns a nice but not spectacular income, about 50k per year. He had to take a "room for rent" deal in a stranger's house, he is living paycheck to paycheck, stressed, miserable, anxious, unhappy and uptight, in short, a living hell....
I said, "hey, you're making $1000 a week, why can't you live a little better than this ???" He says, "I still have to pay the mortgage, THAT'S killing me..."
I'm an ex mortgage broker and property appraiser, I know his house n' hood, I said, "Dim, you bought this house for $200k plus, it's now worth about $125k at best, take a hike, you will NEVER see any equity...'
He says, "I can't do that to her...where's SHE going to go???" I said, "Tell her to go to HELL, that bitch has a job, she ordered YOU out, it's time for her to fend for herself, your K*ds are 30, no Ch*ld support.., you're FREE now..." He responds..."I know, OTHER PEOPLE have told me the same thing..." I just CAN'T do that to her...."
Poor bastard, I foresee a heart attack before I can get him down here and change his perspective, he earns the nickname "Dim" with flying colors...
Pal #2, Let's call him "Mr. Sucker".
He's the one early 60's, not in great health, diagnosed with a hernia, will be getting an operation soon. Ex girlfriend calls from Tampa, Florida, another OLD BITCH. We live in South East Florida, about a 5 hour drive from her. She was moving last weekend, gives him a call on short notice, claims no one to help her, infers sex if he comes to do so...
He is ecstatic, excited, hops in his car Friday after work drives the apx. 250 miles and does plenty o' lifting and carrying. He returns Sunday night, beat, exhausted, pale, hernia hurts like hell...
I say; 'Man, you look like death warmed over, your doctor said NO LIFTING, did you get your reward for all this ???" Of course the answer was "No". I said "WTF ???, No joke, this could have KILLED YOU, what do you mean, after all this, no ???" He replies, "Well she was exhausted from the move and didn't want to, also my hernia was acting up...we cuddled, though.
I said " You drove 500 miles, damn near killed yourself to CUDDLE ??? If you want to CUDDLE, get a dog, get a cat, get a f*cking teddy bear !!! Couldn't you at least get a BJ ??? He replies " Oh, she doesn't LIKE BJ's, even when we dated that never happened..."
Yea, right, and they were worried about girls here in Costa Rica poontang Heaven, "taking advantage of me"... C'mon girls, feel free, take advantage of me, go ahead !!!!!
_________________ Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...
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