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Man Tried to Pay Wal-Mart With $1 Million Dollar BIll

What a moron! Everyone knows Wal-Mart doesn’t keep that kind of cash lying around–that’s why I never use anything higher then a $30,000 bill there…this was a Wal-Mart not a Vegas casino. I don’t know why so many great stories start with, “So, this one time at Wal-Mart,” but here we go.

53-year-old Michael Fuller must’ve felt a little taller than usual when he strutted into the Wal-Mart in Lexington North Carolina with his $1 million-dollar bill just burning a hole in his pocket. The clerk rang up his items, which included a vacuum cleaner and a microwave, to a total of $476 and Fuller casually handed the clerk the million-dollar bill and patiently awaited his change. Unfortunately for Fuller, this hawkeyed forgery expert who happened to be working the cash register was miraculously able to spot the fake. What alerted him? Did Fuller get the watermarks wrong? Was Mickey Mouse on it? When the clerk questioned Fuller, he began arguing and insisting that it was real.

Wal-Mart promptly called the police… and Fuller stuck around! I guess he was figuring the police would be able to verify that he had Mission Impossible’d the bill from the Treasury or whatever story he told the clerk. Common sense aside, if he had done a simple search he would have known that the largest bill currently in circulation is $100. The US government hasn’t printed anything larger since 1969, when they discontinued the $500, $1,000, $5,000, and $10,000 bills due to a lack of public use. According to the Winston-Salem Journal, Fuller was arrested and charged with, “Attempting to obtain property by false pretense and uttering a forged instrument,” which are both felonies. He is being held at the Davidson County Jail and his bond is set at $17,500. I assume he will not be paying in cash. I’m not sure which makes him more stupid, the fact that he thought he would be able to pass off a $1 million dollar bill, or that Wal-Mart would actually hand him over $900,000 in change.

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Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

you guys are right...CRT is beginning to suck

Did you happened to notice what section this thread is in There is a reason it is named "Smack Talk & Fun Stuff"

I am curious what brought about your comment given that this section has been around 2,956 days has 3,689 replies and 30,110 views. Did you just discover it existed?

_________________
Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

you're right I didn't notice

I love stories about stupid crooks, there was one about a crack dealer in New York who called 911 to report a customer ripped him off, the cops showed up, discovered the drugs and arrested him.

Another story I read about was a burglar stole some expensive guns from a gun store he broke into and stuck around to steal rolls of coins as the alarm went off, then tried running away with a large amount of heavy coins, the cops theorized if he just had grabbed the guns he probably would have had the time to get away.

One guy robbed a bank, he had an account there, he handed his demand note to a teller on the back of his deposit slip. They found him.

A puta I know told me she was robbed back when cell phones were a hassle to get, they pulled up on a motorcycle and demanded her cell phone and took off, she had about $300 in her purse from working that day, they didn't even ask for money...

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Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

I just remembered a "personal" story. An escort I used to keep company with here in the USA during the mid nineties thought she was smarter than everyone else and had a life history of lying, stealing and fraud. She was mind boggling sexy and beautiful but also mind boggling stupid. Most of the time she kept getting caught but her twisted logic wouldn't let that stop her from continuing to try.

One time she had her car confiscated by one of those places that give high interest rate loans on the value of your car, she was months in arrears. She talked me into going there to their parking lot one night when they were closed on the pretense she was going to get somethings she needed from the glove box. Yea, I'm real smart, too, when my smaller head is doing the thinking.

The place was fenced in except for a corner where it was all bushes for about 6 feet wide. To my shock, she started up the car and burst through the bushes, giant grin on her face, she motioned for me to follow her home, and of course, I did.

The next morning the owner called her, he of course was furious, threatening to prosecute and re-confiscate the car, she didn't bother to hide it, it was in her driveway, he had driven past her house and saw it. Long story short, I went down there, paid for the arrears and the replacement of the crushed bushes. Man I got a magnificent pounding that night, worth every penny...

Another time after that, she once "scanned" money orders via her computer and sent one of the fakes to pay her phone bill. Due to G*d's grace and her fast talking intelligent mother's begging and pleading, she avoided prosecution. The phone company cancelled her service and banned her, she ended up having to use an alternative expensive phone service. I know, I paid some of those bills for services rendered...

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Don't try to understand 'em, just rope 'em down and brand 'em...

Thanks ID...

Enjoyed the laugh...