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A professor at Auburn University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.

To get a feel for his audience, he asks, “How many people here believe in ghosts?”

About 90 students in the auditorium raise their hands.

“Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have ever seen a ghost?”

About 40 students raise their hands.

“That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?”

About 15 students raise their hand.

“Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?”

Three students raise their hands.

“That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one more question . . . have any of you ever made love to a ghost?”

Way in the back, in one of the last rows of the large auditorium, Ahmed raises his hand.

The professor takes off his glasses, lays them down, and stepping around the podium toward the front row, and says “Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've the very first; you’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.”

The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.

When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, “So, Ahmed, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?”

Ahmed stares at the professor, blinks a couple of times . . . and replies, "Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.

Really
911 Driver

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The happy hour is a device either for getting rid of social obligations hurriedly en masse or for making overtures toward more serious social relationships, as in the etiquette of whoring.- Brooks Atkinson