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Irish Drifter
 Post subject: Punography
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:21 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Mon Feb 16, 2004 10:24 pm
Posts: 11358
Location: Sabana Oeste , Costa Rica
Some are good, some are so-so, some are very clever.
I think you will enjoy them


Punography

I changed my i Pod name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

When chemists die, they barium.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity . I can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a Type- O.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Did you hear about the cross eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

Velcro - what a rip off!

Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Venison for dinner? Oh deer!

Earthquake in Washington obviously government's fault.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.

Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.

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essential food groups:
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JazzboCR
 Post subject: Re: Punography
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 2:07 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Fri Apr 04, 2008 5:57 pm
Posts: 9518
Location: NFM--Geezers, cowpokes and the working poor--yeeha!
You're killing me, Brother ID. Keep'm coming.

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED
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Luvsack
 Post subject: Punography
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:01 pm 
I can do CR without a wingman!

Joined: Tue Apr 17, 2012 2:41 am
Posts: 161
Great laughs!
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BlueDevil
 Post subject: Re: Punography
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2012 6:07 pm 
PHD From Del Rey University!

Joined: Tue Dec 28, 2004 5:55 pm
Posts: 4036
Location: South America
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :mrgreen:
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Californicationdude
 Post subject: Re: Punography
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:34 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:15 pm
Posts: 3785
Location: Washington, DC and Fort Lauderdale
the mariner asked the carpenter if he saw the sea. the carpenter said he would if he could see the saw.

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)
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Californicationdude
 Post subject: Re: Punography
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:37 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:15 pm
Posts: 3785
Location: Washington, DC and Fort Lauderdale
the morning would arise quickly hard at hand.

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)
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Californicationdude
 Post subject: Re: Punography
PostPosted: Sun Jun 24, 2012 12:45 am 
PHD From Del Rey University!
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Joined: Wed Jun 29, 2005 6:15 pm
Posts: 3785
Location: Washington, DC and Fort Lauderdale
there was a long roll.....then a wipe out.

a flush always takes down a shitty pair.

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The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)
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