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After closing time at the pub, a drunk was proudly showing off his new
apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom
where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
"What's that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
"That's not a gong, it's a fooken' talking clock." the drunk replied.
"A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Sure it is!" replied the drunk.
"How does it work?" the friend asked, squinting at it.
"Watch." the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an
ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment. . . .
Suddenly, from the other side of the wall came,

"You Fookin Asshole! It's Three-Fifteen in the Morning!"

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Respectfully,

Muff

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