www.CostaRicaTicas.com

PM To my wife, I'm sorry. I phucked up but I'm not changing so you'll either need to put up with this shit or I'll stroke you the check I agreed to in the pre-nup....sorry. To my fans, get over it. Where I stick my dick is none of your business. If you care....sorry. I don't need any of you in order to make 10 times in one year what you'll make in a career. I promise to continue to hit 4 irons from 210 yards to within 10' of the hole and drop puts that you couldn't read in a million years. If that's not good enough for you, go watch tennis. To the media. You cocksuckers are the only ones more two-faced than I am. Kissing my ass for all those years and then ripping me every chance you've had since Thanksgiving. Phuck all ya'll. I'm glad I don't have to take the time to sit and answer the same bullshit questions over and over again. To the other golfers. Kiss my cablanasian ass! You motherfuckers come out ripping me when I've put more phucking money in your pockets than you could count. You think anyone's been paying to see Jesper-fucking-Parnavik? Give me a phucking break. I'm almost tempted to give up golf just to punish you guys but I think it's going to be more fun to practice for the next few weeks and get back to making you all my bitches. That's all I got today folks.....see ya at Augusta !....Oh and Bambi, if you're listening I'll meet you at the Ritz in 45 minutes.

LMAO Right On Right On
Hit um straight
TioP

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Be Happy while you're Living,for you are a long time Dead.

You Know I love it when there is complete transparency and honesty. I would have appreciated this response. Thank you Tigre for your truth and honest forethcoming disclosure.

SI,

Very Funny, and you know what, why not just say "FU to the sponsors, I'm doing what I want and I'll still keep winning." I still think the golf beat writers and the other tour pros knew what was going on, maybe no to the extent, but knew he wasn't the good boy he acted. I still don't like him, this guy has been put on a pedestal for far too long. I hope the hecklers come out in droves. And for Pete's sake, someone tell this billionaire to tip when he is at restaurants.

What about his caddie, I heard there was a riff? Will he still have the bag, there's another a-hole.

PURA VIDA!

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Livin' & Lovin' in Key Largo....oh....And the one in The Keys, too!

HAHA! You should be his pr man..

golf is hurting without him

Now a word from Tiger's sponsors....

cricket, cricket...

sponsors? sponsors? sponsors?

Uh, well Bob, I guess it's back to the action. Big John Dailey is about to Tee off in his trademark Lumber 84 shirt paired with Paddy Harrington today...

You know not since the movie Tin Cup has this sport enjoyed such popularity. Yep Bob I saw Big John's Big bus at the Waffle House last night...

Wait just a second, John is going to Tee off without a shirt. Yes just like the back nine he played a couple of weeks ago at a charity event.

This just in, Tiger Woods has announced that his new sponsor is... Lumber 84.

How 'bout that Bob. Kind of reminds me of Rocky I when he had the meat packing robe...

True that! All Tiger needs now to go with that Lumber 84 shirt is a Jets Fireman helmet, bermuda shorts, sandles, and a pair of black socks and he be styling.

Back to Big John's bus Bob, do you like your hash browns scattered & smoothered or do take em scattered, smoothered, & covered?

Now your talking, after the broadcast let's head over to the Waffle House VIP tent...

Yes, this sport has really made an effort to appeal to the masses with the Waffle House the new Master's sponsor, Playing without a shirt a new rule addition this year, and bermuda shorts, black socks and sandles during the time Tiger's been in treatment for liking too much strange pu*sy...

I wonder how that is going to affect his game...

Well Bob he should be real strong off the Tee Box, but I think his short game is going to suffer. Too much pent up tension to be the winner he once was when he was pounding it...

The ball?

No you idiot that pu*sy...

Over to the 17th par three and ole lefty using the new bumper pool stick putting rules incorporated this year just banked his put for a birdie... Phil's game has never been stronger.

You know Bob, this game has never been more fun...

Now to the 13th and the windmill...

This just in, sales of Tiger Wood's golf jersey number 84 have exceeded those of Michael Vicks old Falcon's jersey...

Bob do you think he will change his name to ocho cuatro?

I don't know, but I think it would be great for the game if he hid a cell phone on the flag stick of 18 and made a call after sinking a 20 footer in the clowns nose...

No Bob, I think Tiger is done making cell phone calls...

he he he

Bob, this just in no more walking the links on the PGA. NASCAR is the new sponsor of Winston Cup Golf Carts on the tour...

Oh boy this is going to be fun...

Yep, I can see the fans throwing chicken bones along the fairways...

Bob, yu da man

Since the majority of Tiger's money come from endorsements, he had to beg for forgiveness like a little pussy-whipped bitch at that press conference. As much as he probably wants to, he simply can't tell people off. His earnings from golf are not that high. He needs the sponsors so he has to try and revive his alter boy image.