www.CostaRicaTicas.com

CRT's Experts Give Up
'From Now On, You're On Your Own,' Say Experts

San Jose, CR—Citing years of frustration over their advice being

misunderstood, misrepresented or simply ignored, CRT's foremost

experts in every field collectively tendered their resignation Monday in a

mass resignation of CRT's 243,839 experts.

"Despite all our efforts to advise the membership, Mongers still pay

Cien, drink three times as much flat Coronas as is recommended, watch

seven hours of gorditas parading about per day, swim less than 10

minutes after eating, and leave tremendous tips for indifferent service

and ignore such basic crimestopper tips to Wipe, albeit with tiny

napkins, with their Left." said Dr. El Ciego, vice-president of the CRT

Association of Experts.

"Since you don't seem to care about things you don't understand,

screw you. We quit."

"My final piece of expert advice," El C added, "is that all of you people

should just go Phuck yourselves."

C-Dude, until recently a Department of Skid Marks advisor

specializing in upset stomachs and clean public bathrooms, maintained

that the experts' mass resignation is justified.

"Last year, I testified before CRT that at the current rate of

consumption, the membership’s supply of napkins, Diacort, bottled ginger

ale, yellow ice and diamonds in the rough would be depleted in 4 years,

and they looked at me as if I was some sort of crackpot," C-Dude said.

"What's the point?"


"We'll say it one last time before we pack up and go: In 2 years,

you'll be up to your asses in thieving Ticos and Nicas (not to mention

mercenary Colombianas," a written statement from the CRT Advisory

Council On Fool Slaying read in part.

"Since CRT has not yet begun making preparations for the explosion

in its membership, we recommend that you begin research on propina

funded, hydroelectrically powered 'fool slaying camps,' where the

teeming hordes of those that cannot listen can be disposed of quickly and

painlessly."


According to CRT Expert Prolijo, despite the vast amounts of

scientifically proven and historically sound advice provided by CRT’s

experts, the CRT Association of Experts could cite no instances of advice

being followed in the manner they had intended.


"Public reaction was favorable to the news that sex and a glass of wine

a day can help prevent heart attacks," Prolijo said. "But of course, most

members figured that eight gorditas and glasses of wine a day must be

better than one."

"And while many members reacted well to the news that eggs

probably wouldn't kill them outright, they failed to come to a consensus

on the choice of brown or white eggs. They've pretty much ignored every

word we've ever said concerning just about everything."


Because the experts' advice was barely followed, the mass resignation

is expected to have little impact on the lives of most CRT members.


"Go ahead, CRT," resident CRT Expert ID (scribe of ‘Word on the

Street’ columnist said. "You don't need us.”


“ Watch all your cameras, laptops, mouthwash go out the door. Carry

your wallet in your back pocket. Keep playing with your cute and cuddly

little darling, the street pickup. Press your nose against the New Fantasy

MP window for even more views of gorditas. Don't eat anything but bad

pinche. Do whatever you want."


Despite its negligible impact on the membership at large, the sudden

dearth of experts is expected to be devastating for the CRT media

particularly the weekly CRT Report, which had come to heavily rely on

experts for their incisive, time-filling punditry.


According to CRT Experts spokesperson Florida, the exiting advisors

will be missed, but the membership must move forward. "We, of course,

are deeply saddened to lose CRT's most knowledgeable individuals in

every field," Florida said. "But at the same time, it's important to

recognize that their advice, however well-informed or well-intentioned,

was almost always impractical."


Florida said he plans to fill his own vacant advisory positions with

Positive minded, people-friendly sexperts, advice columnists and

astrologers" as soon as funding can be arranged.



Others, have gathered at the remains of the Cardboard Inn, Inc for

a final meeting.

“We are planning on demolishing and burning to the ground any sign

of this misused, staid and noble establishment, Not even a fly swatter will

be left”

_________________
The difference between a Sea Story and a Fairy Tale is that a Fairy Tale starts out 'Once Upon a Time..' and a Sea Story starts out 'This is no Shit...'

(export version only, some restrictions may apply, some assembly required, not valid where the sun don't shine...

if you live in the states of Poverty, Darkness or anywhere outside of The Blessings of Civilization Trust, Inc...other rules may apply)

Now that's what i am talking about. Now this is a story my friend.. Good Job..now NEXT GORDITA >>>>>>>

_________________
"THE TRUTH IS' EVERYBODY IS GOING TO HURT YOU. YOU JUST GOTTA FIND THE ONE WORTH SUFFERING FOR"
Robert Nesta Marley