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Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says, 'Where in the hell have you been'?

Larry replies, 'I was out getting a tattoo'.

‘A tattoo?' she frowned. 'What kind of tattoo did you get?'

I got 2 x $50 notes on my penis,' he said proudly.

'What the hell were you thinking'? she said, shaking her head in disdain. 'Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollars tattooed on his privates?'

'Well, one, I like to watch my money grow. Two, once in a while I like to play with my money. Three, I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred dollars anytime you want'.

Larry is recovering in ward 23.