Are you two hitting the Absinthe a little early today?
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| some wordplay https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=29933 |
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| Author: | JazzboCR [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:53 pm ] |
| Post subject: | some wordplay |
The Mahatma Gandhi was an amazingly spiritual man but physically he was a wreck. His penchant for walking barefoot led him to have enormously tough feet. His diet, such as it was between hunger strikes, meant he was very thin and frail. It also had the side effect of giving him very bad breath. In fact you could say he was a super-calloused fragile mystic cursed by halitosis. |
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| Author: | El Ciego [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | The Bus |
Jazzbo, in search of extra income took a job as a school bus driver, and was promptly assigned the short bus. When arriving for his first day on the job, Jazzbo was delighted to see his "special needs transport vehicle" painted brightly with Sesame Street characters. His first stop was to pick up two immensely fat, identical twin girls. "Hi! I'm Patty Sue," said the first. "And I'm Patty Jo." The next stop was a lone youngster, obviously afflicted with Down's syndrome. "Hello, what's your name?" asked Jazzbo. "I'm Ross, and I'm special," the boy answered with a toothless grin. Jazzbo's third stop was to pick up another young boy, terribly crippled by cerebral palsy. His name was Lenny. When he boarded the short bus, Lenny let out a massive sneeze. "Allergies, he apologized. He then sat down in the back, took off his shoes and began to pick bunions on his little feet. The Nextel beeped, and Jazzbo answered. "Jazz, what's your status?" inquired the dispatcher. "Everything A-OK," replied Jazzbo. "I've got two all-beef Pattys, Special Ross, and Lenny sneezin' and pickin' bunions on a Sesame Street bus." |
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| Author: | El Viejo [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:20 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Are you two hitting the Absinthe a little early today?
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| Author: | El Ciego [ Tue Aug 04, 2009 9:34 pm ] |
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El Viejo wrote: Are you two hitting the Absinthe a little early today?
Well you know, EV... "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." 
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| Author: | JazzboCR [ Wed Aug 05, 2009 3:01 am ] |
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You know--I was thinking the same thing so let me contribute this nugget: Transvestite--a mannish depressive with delusions of gender although Absinthe also makes the farts grow stronger. Step up, Gents--I know you've got some. |
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| Author: | El Viejo [ Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:18 am ] |
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You two are on a roll, keep em comming 
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| Author: | Tstef527 [ Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:37 am ] |
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They are on something alright 
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| Author: | JazzboCR [ Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:12 pm ] |
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OK to satisfy our many fans out there in Mongerland, here's a short-snorter (the only triple pun I know of): Three brothers inherit a cattle ranch and rename it "Focus", 'cuz it's where the sons raise meat. Back to you, Chet. |
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| Author: | Dean [ Thu Aug 06, 2009 7:57 pm ] |
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Japanese banks have been hit almost as hard as American banks: The Origami Bank has folded, and we hear the Sumo Bank has gone belly-up too. Bonsai Bank plans to cut some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is for sale and is going for a song. Meanwhile, staff at Karate Bank got the chop, and analysts report there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, where workers fear they may get a raw deal. Now I found this at http://chuckleandguffaw.wordpress.com/c ... /wordplay/ There are a couple of others that I liked. Dean |
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| Author: | JazzboCR [ Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:41 am ] |
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What a great site Brother Dean's found! Let me share some: (1) The Mahareshi Mahesh Yogi refused painkillers during his root canal...he wanted to transcend dental medication. (2) Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. (3) The Italian government is installing a clock in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. After all, what good is the inclination if you don't have the time? * (4) An orangutan at the zoo has 2 books--The Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. He's trying to figure out if he's his brother's keeper or his keeper's brother. * this one might strike a chord here I understand there's a youth gang of tranny's who have low self-esteem but do what youth gang's are supposed to do--they call themselves "Punctilious". This one is a stretch--sorry; toughen it up and bat it back |
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| Author: | JazzboCR [ Fri Aug 07, 2009 7:37 pm ] |
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Mr. Gore has given up his environmentalism crusade and taken up music--reggae bass-playing and Latin percussion--an algorithm? These have only been bad--I'm looking for excruciating. Any ideas? |
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| Author: | El Viejo [ Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Your bad ideas are better than my good ideas
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| Author: | Patriot [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:10 pm ] |
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epyt eht rorrim ton dluoc I tub rrorim a ni dna tfel reppu eht ot thgir mottob eht morf daer eb ot si tsop sihT tsiwt a htiw yalp droW |
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| Author: | Patriot [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 5:59 pm ] |
| Post subject: | A couple more from the site |
A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, “This isn’t a hazelnut daiquiri.†“No, I’m sorry,†replied the bartender, “it’s a hickory daiquiri doc.†He said I was average… how mean! What do you call twin policemen? Copies. Did you hear about the two silkworms who had a race? It ended up as a tie. Modified for CRT audience: Lying battered and bruised in hospital, a man explained to his friend, “I told my wife that when football is on TV at the SL, it would take a team of wild horses to drag me away. I still have no idea where she got them.†|
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| Author: | Patriot [ Thu Aug 13, 2009 6:21 pm ] |
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The dead man walking through the toxic waste performed a small miracle by doing nothing to confirm the rumor of his completed research. The constant change of what was a constant variable added nothing to the cruel kindness of a presumed first conclusion. The deafening silence of the same clichés reverberating like an echo. The fatal attraction of this historical event was old news to him. The current history of this new classic , now and then, was typified by the re-creation of a time-less moment of the perfect mis-match of a well known secret. Perhaps the false facts of his accurate estimation prevented the bigger half of his work from being viewed. So it was time to stop doing nothing and expect the unexpected, re-think the un-thinkable and, with a sad smile, create his final draft of the completed work . Yes, life was now good. Celebration with a dry beer from a plastic glass and some hot chili wings was in order. Perhaps some jumbo shrimp or a vegetarian hamburger. The issue though is the next morning of the liquid gas. Interesting use of oxymorons, don't you think ? Campus Motto: Bottoms up, Mac Do geese see God? Murder for a jar of red rum Was it Eliot's toilet I saw? Palindromes are so much fun. Pura Vida |
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