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Summary of Life

GREAT TRUTHS THAT K*ds HAVE LEARNED:

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your brothert hits you, don't hit him back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polk a-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandpa's lap.



GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.


GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.


THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:

1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus.
4) You look like Santa Claus.


SUCCESS (aka the cycle of life):

At age 4 s success is . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . .Having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money.
At age 70 success is . . . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . . Not piddling in your pants.

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Livin' & Lovin' in Key Largo....oh....And the one in The Keys, too!

EL S

You did't try to baptize a cat at one time did you ???

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CRTB

Nothing like stuffin tica muffin.........
Thai... Phili.... Viet....
Oh what the hell ever.......

I heard he had a cockatoo and screwed the pooch a few times.

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Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

When do I get to stop doing the jelly thing?

Great Post ElS!! loved it

Don't know where it would fit in but the one I always like and found very true:

at 5: your father is the smartest man alive

at 15: your father is the dumbest man alive

at 25: some how your father is getting smarter

and unexplainably, he just continues to get much smarter the older you get.

Happy fathers day to all the fathers out there!!!

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Old and retired but still bang, and bang, and bang!!!

No but he tried to milk one once.