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Golf Poem https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=28907 |
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Author: | El Silencioso [ Mon Jun 01, 2009 5:47 pm ] |
Post subject: | Golf Poem |
In My Hand I Hold A Ball, White And Dimpled, Rather Small. Oh, How Bland It Does Appear, This Harmless Looking Little Sphere. By Its Size I Could Not Guess, The Awesome Strength It Does Possess. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell. My Life Has Not Been Quite The Same, Since I Chose To Play This Stupid Game. It Rules My Mind For Hours On End, A Fortune It Has Made Me Spend. It Has Made Me Yell, Curse And Cry, I Hate Myself And Want To Die. It Promises A Thing Called Par, If I Can Hit It Straight And Far. To Master Such A Tiny Ball, Should Not Be Very Hard At All. But My Desires The Ball Refuses, And Does Exactly As It Chooses. It Hooks And Slices, Dribbles And Dies, And Even Disappears Before My Eyes. Often It Will Have A Whim, To Hit A Tree Or Take A Swim. With Miles Of Grass On Which To Land, It Finds A Tiny Patch Of Sand. Then Has Me Offering Up My Soul, If Only It Would Find The Hole. It's Made Me Whimper Like A Pup, And Swear That I Will Give It Up. And Take To Drink To Ease My Sorrow, But that damn Ball Knows ... I'll Be Back Tomorrow. Stand proud you noble swingers of clubs and losers of balls.... A recent study found the average golfer walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found golfers drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means, on average, golfers get about 41 miles to the gallon. Kind of makes you proud. I Almost feel like a hybrid... ![]() ![]() |
Author: | Mendobrew [ Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:13 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
LMAO… I will print that poem out for the locker room board But… do those statistics include the Aussies, Scots and Brits? Those numbers seem about right for US golfers; but would skew way up if we include just the Aussies and the Scots. ![]() ![]() Today is the first of the month… the bar inventory is sitting in front of me… later this month when there is time, I need to figure out the “gallon usage†and divide it by the number of members and then multiply by twelve… let’s test these numbers. ![]() ![]() I need (another) drink…Fore! Mendo |
Author: | Cujo's [ Mon Jun 01, 2009 10:45 pm ] |
Post subject: | |
Very true. Good stuff El S ![]() Cujo |
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