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MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE
NICKNAMES:
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call
each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike , Dave and John go out, they will affectionately
refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.
EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mike , Dave and John will each throw
in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them
will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they
want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket
calculators.
MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't
need but it's on sale.
BATHROOMS:
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and
toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a
towel ...
The average number of items in the typical woman's
bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more
than 20 of these items.
ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new
argument.
FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife
can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he
doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change,
but she does.
DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants,
empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the
mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.
NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.
OFFSPRING:
Ah, Ch*ldren. A woman knows all about her Ch*ldren. She
knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends,
favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the
house.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no
use in two people remembering the same thing!
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It's not the size of the wand that put the rabbit in the hat, it's the magic in it!!!
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