www.CostaRicaTicas.com

VERY BRAVE MAN JOKES ---

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman ?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably
never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer
to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.

_________________
It is easier to ask Forgiveness than to ask Permission.

Some are good
Some are old
All are Bold

_________________
Shamas O'Dognasty
Gourmet Catering & Septic Tank Cleaning

Why do brides wear white?
All kitchen appliances are white.

How many men does it take to change the kitchen lightbulb?
None. Let the bitch do the damn dishes in the dark!

Why are brides smiling when they walk down the aisle?
They know they have given their last blowjob!

What do all battered women have in common?
THEY JUST DON"T LISTEN!

_________________
"Your love gives me such a thrill
but your love don't pay my bills,
I NEED THE MONEY!" - John Lee Hooker

Disclaimer: The above is merely the opinion of the author unless specific scientific data is included.
Your mileage may vary. https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 978#206978

Hey Pac when I saw these the first person to come to mind was you.
I thought some of these must be right out of your hand book.

Be there soon!

_________________
It is easier to ask Forgiveness than to ask Permission.

Millions of years ago, there was no such thing as the wheel.
One day, some cavemen were watching their wives drag a dead
mastodon to the food-preparation area. It was exhausting work;
the guys were getting tired just watching. Then they noticed some
large, smooth, rounded boulders, and they had an idea: They could
sit on the boulders and watch! This was the first in a series of
breakthroughs that ultimately led to television. The smaller
rocks tossed at the women soon became known as remotes.

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY