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Every weekend I take my four year of old son out for some male bonding time. We go to the park, play catch or see a museum and then head for lunch. Like every Ch*ld, he loves McDonalds and Burger King and we usually go to one or the other based on what kind of a toy they have in the happy meal that week.

But last Saturday was a little different. When I asked where he wanted to go for lunch, McDonalds or Burger King (?) he responded with “chupa los dedos.” We all know means something like "sucking fingers."

Now the boy is only four years old. True, the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. He comes from a long line of mongers: father, grandfather and great grand father, that is as far back as I know of. So sucking fingers or other anatomical parts will be a natural for him, but not at four.

So I asked again and he quickly insisted, “I want to go to chupa los dedos.” He was very clear. I maintained, “But I don’t know anyplace called chupa los dedos.”

We went back and forth, me insisting that I didn’t know what he was talking about, then offering Mickey Ds and his reply was the resolute choice of chupa los dedos.

As we crested the hill and approached the Golden Arches my son started jumping up and down pointing wildly. “There it is! See I told you it was there. Chupa los dados!”

There it was, across the street from McDonalds -- Kentucky Fried Chicken: Finger licking good.

Chupa las dados!

The one above actually happened. This one is just a joke I heard from a friend.

I took my dad to the mall the other day to buy some new shoes. We decided to grab a bite at the food court. I noticed he was watching a teenager sitting next to him. The teenager had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, and blue. My dad kept staring at him.

The teenager would look and find him staring every time. When the teenager had enough, he sarcastically asked, “What’s the matter old man, never done anything wild in your life?”

Knowing my Dad, I quickly swallowed my food so that I would not choke on his response; knowing he would have a good one. And in classic style he did not bat an eye in his response. “ 'Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son.”