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A group of male lawyers lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. One transferred to another city. It wasn't the same without him.
A new woman lawyer joined their law firm. She overheard the guys talking about their golf round. She said, 'You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?'
The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early -- at 6:30 am.
He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this may be a problem, and asked if she could be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said okay. She smiled and said, 'Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45.'
She showed up at 6:30 sharp, and beat all three of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round. She was fun and pleasant person, and the guys were impressed. Back at the clubhouse, they congratulated her and invited her back the next week. She smiled, and said, 'I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45.'
The next week she again showed up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three lawyers were incredulous as she still beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. They were totally amazed, but wondered if she was trying to make them look bad by beating them left-handed.
They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be purposely showing them up. They invited her back again, but each man harbored a burning desire to beat her game.
The third week, the guys had their game faces on. But this time, she was 15 minutes late, which made the guys irritable. This week the lady lawyer played right-handed, and narrowly beat all three of them.
The men mused that her late arrival was due to petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, they couldn't hold a grudge.
Back in the clubhouse, all three guys were shaking their heads. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out. They had a couple of beers, and finally, one of the men asked her point blank, 'How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?'
The lady blushed, and grinned. 'That's easy,' she said. 'When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I like to switch back and forth. When I got married in college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed.
The guys on the team thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, 'But what if it's pointing straight up in the air?'
She said, 'Then, I'm fifteen minutes late.'
SENIORS GOLF RULES:
Golf Rules: AARP Negotiated with the USGA to Modify the Rules of Golf for
Seniors
Rule 1.a.5 A ball sliced or hooked into the rough shall be lifted and
placed on the fairway at a point equal to the distance it carried or rolled
into the rough with no penalty. The senior should not be penalized for tall
grass which groundskeepers failed to mow.
Rule 2.d.6 (b) A ball hitting a tree shall be deemed not to have hit the tree. This is
simply bad luck and luck has no place in a scientific game. The senior
player must estimate the distance the ball would have traveled if it had not
hit the tree and play the ball from there.
Rule 3.b.3 (g) There shall be no such thing as a lost ball; the missing ball is on or near the course and will eventually be found and pocketed by someone else, making it a stolen ball. The player is not to compound the felony by charging
himself or herself with a penalty.
Rule 4.c.7 (h) If a putt passes over a hole without dropping, it is deemed to have dropped. The law of gravity supersedes the Rules of Golf.
Rule 5 Putts that stop close enough to the cup that they could be blown in, may be blown in are deemed to have dropped. This does not apply to balls more than three inches from the hole. No one wants to make a travesty of the game.
Rule 6.a.9 (k) There is not penalty for so-called 'out of bounds'. If penny-pinching golf course owners bought sufficient land, this would not occur. The Senior
golfer deserves an apology, not a penalty.
Rule 7.g.15 (z) There is no penalty for a ball in a water hazard, as golf balls should float Senior golfers should not be penalized for manufacturers shortcomings.
Rule 8.k.9 (s) Advertisements claim that golf scores can be improved by purchasing new golf equipment. Since this is financially impracticable for many senior golfers, one-half stroke per hole may be subtracted for using old equipment.
Please advise all your Senior friends of these important rule c hanges.
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