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The Legend of "Frank Feldman"



A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi and the cabbie says "perfect timing - you're just like Frank".



Passenger: 'Who?'



Cabbie: 'Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything
right - all the time. Like my coming along when you needed
a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single
time.'



Passenger: 'There are always a few clouds over everybody.'



Cabbie: 'Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He
could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf
with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced
like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play
the piano. He was an amazing guy'



Passenger: 'Sounds like he was something really special'



Cabbie: 'There's more.......He had a memory like a computer.
Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine,
which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could
fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street
blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.'



Passenger. 'Wow, some guy then.'



Cabbie: 'He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and
avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get stuck in
them. But Frank, he never made a mistake'



Passenger. 'Mmm, there's not many like him around.'



Cabbie: 'And he really knew how to treat a woman and make
her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in
the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes
highly polished too - he was the perfect man! He never made
a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.'



Passenger: 'An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?'



Cabbie: 'Well, I never actually met Frank.'



Passenger: 'Then how do you know so much about him?'



Cabbie: 'I married his f......ing widow.'