Here are a number of political quotes from the ‘newly late’ George Carlin.
That’s the comedian who ripped American’s going soft on language, saying
that “we don’t ‘die’ anymore - we ‘expire...’ As if we’re a magazine
subscription.â€
George Carlin Quotes
"In America, anyone can become president. That’s the problem."
"I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. On
Election Day, I stay home. I firmly believe that if you vote, you have no
right to complain. Now, some people like to twist that around. They say, 'If
you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in
that? If you vote, and you elect dishonest, incompetent politicians, and
they get into office and screw everything up, you are responsible for what
they have done. You voted them in. You caused the problem. You have no right
to complain. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even
leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for that these
politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that
you created." (Watch George Carlin rant about voting)
"Bipartisan usually means that a larger-than-usual deception is being
carried out."
"Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity."
"Conservatives say if you don't give the rich more money, they will lose
their incentive to invest. As for the poor, they tell us they've lost all
incentive because we've given them too much money."
"Have you ever wondered why Republicans are so interested in encouraging
people to volunteer in their communities? It’s because volunteers work for
no pay. Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a
long time."
"Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach
military age. Then you’re just what they’re looking for. Conservatives want
live Babi*s so they can raise them to be dead soldiers."
"The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse:
You cannot post 'Thou shalt not steal,' 'Thou shalt not commit adultery,'
and 'Thou shalt not lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges, and
politicians. It creates a hostile work environment."
"If churches want to play the game of politics, let them pay admission like
everyone else."
"I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is
that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them
together is certain death."
"This is a little prayer dedicated to the separation of church and state. I
guess if they are going to force those K*ds to pray in schools they might as
well have a nice prayer like this: Our Father who art in heaven, and to the
republic for which it stands, thy kingdom come, one nation indivisible as in
heaven, give us this day as we forgive those who so proudly we hail. Crown
thy good into temptation but deliver us from the twilight's last gleaming.
Amen and Awomen."
"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do
freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"
"You know the good part about all those executions in Texas? Fewer Texans."
"These days many politicians are demanding change. Just like homeless
people."
"I don't think we should be governing ourselves. What need is a king, and
every now and then if the king’s not doing a good job, we kill him."
"The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream
because you have to be asleep to believe it." (Watch George Carlin rant
about the American Dream)
"This country was founded by a group of slave owners who wanted to be free.
Am I right? A group of slave owners who wanted to be free! So they killed a
lot of white English people in order to continue owning their black African
people, so they could wipe out the rest of the red Indian people, in order
to move west and steal the rest of the land from the brown Mexican people,
giving them a place to take off and drop their nuclear weapons on the yellow
Japanese people. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? 'You
give us a color, we'll wipe it out.'"
"Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about:
politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they
suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't
fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another
reality. They come from American parents and American families, American
homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American
universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we
can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces:
Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're
going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any
good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish,
ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who
suck. Maybe something else sucks around here... like, the public. Yeah, the
public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public
Sucks. F**k Hope.'"
"George Washington's brother, Lawrence, was the ‘Uncle of Our Country.’"
Gentlemen. I sure miss the wit and wisdom of the late Geaorge carlin. Any Carlin quotes to add?
I am kenj8 and I approved this message.
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