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MY NEXT LIFE
By George Carlin
I want to live my next life backwards:
You start out dead and get that out of the way.
Then you wake up in a nursing home feeling better every day.
Then you get kicked out for being too healthy.
Enjoy your retirement and collect your pension.
Then when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day
you work 40 years until you're too young to work.
You get ready ;for High School: drink alcohol, party, and you're generally promiscuous.
Then you go to primary school, you become a K*D, you play, and you have no responsibilities.
Then you become a baby, and then...
You spend your last 9 months floating peacefully in
luxury, in Spa-like conditions - central heating, room service on tap, and then...
You finish off as an orgasm.
I rest my case.
_________________
"Worrying is interest paid on a debt you may not owe"
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