Querida:
I could not send you money due to a terrible accident. Please let me explain!
My one love in this cruel world, Fugly The Chimp, has unexpectedly and suddenly taken a turn for the worse. I’ve had this little gem of a g-spot junkie since birth, and I’m not about to let this moneky off my back, no sir. I LOVE FUGLY and hope the recovery is swift and, well, quick.
The doctors say something about needing emergency anal-stitching surgery due to subdermal hematomas and the like – it is all very confusing to be certain. But what I did ascertain from the hateful shouting of that very mean animal control officer is that you can’t molest chimps. With toys. Especially battery powered toys. My main defense is that I wasn’t aware of how powerful the new 30Kn Briggs & Stratton Pleasure Engine© really was, but I guess it is a moot point now. The important thing, aside from me not having charges pressed, is that I may one day regain control of my little hirsute pleasure seeker.
A recent picture of my precious:
http://img525.imageshack.us/my.php?image=chimpeg9.jpg
Anyhow, I am saddened that I have to continue to restrict her pain meds. I’m just very restricted in my money. I hope you understand. I cannot really deal with anything else right now until I find some extra blow and weather-beaten prostitutes to take my energies out on. So sorry. Perhaps if you’d like to help by sending me some numbers of HIV infected women in your country I could begin spontaneous baby making operations in multiple continents and finally infuse some culture into your damned one, to say the least.
To be sure, I cannot ship the laptop because all of my available money is going to Fugly, dear Fugly. I am really broke.
Can you possibly send me something to cover shipping until the PayPal clears? How much is shipping from North Carolina, 60634 – to your country, love. Thanks! Please say a silent prayer for Fuglys quick anal recovery. I do miss her. Or him. Not really important.
Zeebrawon
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