The Year in Review... Down South
According to a police report, two-time NASCAR Busch Series champion Martin Truex Jr. was urinating on a car when a Volusia County officer asked if the relief was worth a $100 fine. Truex responded, "It is worth 100 bucks" and held out a $100 bill. He was charged with disorderly intoxication.
That's just one of many incidents preceded by drinking.
A doctor carrying a burrito and dressed as Captain America was arrested in Melbourne after grabbing a woman at a bar and fighting with her boyfriend.
The mug shot of a 41-year-old woman arrested in Tampa on DUI charges displayed her T-shirt, which read, "I'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings."
A 30-year-old Collier County woman was taking driving lessons when she ran over her instructor, who had to be airlifted to a hospital. Her blood-alcohol level was nearly twice the legal limit.
Largo police responded to a call about a bar disturbance, and when they arrived, a drunk man called 911 and asked a dispatcher for help because he was surrounded by police. "Our officers were standing there scratching their heads," one sergeant said.
Speaking of head scratchers:
A substitute teacher got in trouble in the Orlando area for bringing a handgun on school property. It was discovered when someone reported he was using the gun to scratch his head while pulling into the parking lot.
speaking of school crimes: a 10-year-old girl faced a felony weapons charge in Ocala after she brought a kitchen knife to school to cut the steak she brought for lunch.
There were other dumb criminals.
An escaped South Carolina prisoner showed up in Daytona Beach in singer Crystal Gayle's stolen tour bus.
A former felon swapping his old clothes for new ones in a department store dressing room was caught in Charlotte County because his old prison ID badge was in the pants he left behind.
Three teenagers were arrested for trying to break into a house after one rang the doorbell, alerting the homeowner.
A woman arrested for shoplifting in Cape Coral blamed the crime on irritable bowel syndrome. Apparently she had to run before she had the runs.
A burglary suspect fleeing Miccosukee Tribe police jumped into a lake where signs warn "Danger Live Alligators." He was killed by an alligator.
A Tampa-area woman was charged with faking her teenage daughter's death to scam a medical clinic out of $500 for funeral expenses, proving she didn't learn anything during the two years she spent in prison for faking her husband's death to collect insurance four years earlier.
A man trying to rob a Silver Springs Shores pharmacy got stuck in an air shaft for 10 hours. He said he was trying to retrieve a cat. Authorities didn't believe him.
Similarly, Hillsborough County deputies didn't believe a woman when she said the vial they found in her purse contained dried cat urine, not methamphetamine. They should have. She sat in jail for two months until a test proved she was telling the truth. Drug charges were dropped.
Talk about excessive meowing,
A Marion County man was arrested after authorities found about 300 cats in his home, which was covered in feces 2 and 3 inches deep.
An Altamonte Springs gunman let a convenience store clerk call 911 during a robbery because she said she might be having a heart attack. He then stole $30 and cigarettes and, as he left, said, "You have a good day. I'm sorry this had to happen."
Then there was the man who crashed a van into a Holiday home and ran away leaving a shoe behind. An hour later, he returned to the scene barefoot. Investigating troopers asked him to try on the shoe. It was a perfect fit. He was arrested.
Footwear caused an accident in Trenton that led to a cowboy boot ban at the town's police department. An officer crashed his cruiser into a convenience store when his boot slipped off the brake and hit the accelerator.
Orlando-area police gave away sneakers for people who turned in guns and got a little more than they expected when a man exchanged a 4-foot-long surface-to-air missile launcher for size-3 Reebok sneakers for his daughter.
A St. Lucie County man went to the hospital and told doctors he woke up with a bad headache, and said maybe his wife elbowed him in his sleep. Doctors quickly found the cause of the pain - a bullet. The couple confessed the wife sleeps with a loaded gun under her pillow and accidentally shot her husband when a burglar alarm went off.
A Jacksonville-area man rushed his daughter's bearded dragon to a veterinarian after they found something unusual sticking out its rear end. The vet safely pulled out a 7-inch rubber lizard that the real lizard had swallowed. "Talk about Going GREEK"
M-juana was in the news a lot.
A Broward County judge was issued a citation after three officers said he was smoking a joint under a tree in a city park. Maybe it was because he had been involved in the Anna Nicole case.
And a crew picking up litter along Interstate 4 near Tampa found two garbage bags filled with 30 pounds each of freshly harvested marijuana.
It wasn't the only strange bag found along state highways. A Pinellas County garbage operations employee found a plastic bag on the road stuffed with $65,000.
A Tampa-area man said he found a dead alligator floating in the Hillsborough River and was arrested while skinning it in his front yard. He said he was trying to get material for a belt.
Among other weird news:
Police in Punta Gorda were called to a construction site where a couple was having sex on top of a 100-foot-high crane.
_> Marion County prison guards were disciplined for allowing two female inmates to perform a gay wedding ceremony.
_ > A man with no arms and one leg who refused to stop driving was sentenced in Pasco County to five years in prison after the latest in a long list of driving offenses.
_ > A Yulee animal conservation center raised money by auctioning off rare rhino poop.
_ > Some Orlando-area homes and a middle school were cleared out after folks figured they were built on a former Army bombing range and live World War II-era artillery was still underground.
THEN THERE WAS ONE WILD PARTY ....Now that's a party....
One man found out that the cost of college graduation can be almost as expensive as getting the diploma. The 24-year-old man celebrated his graduation from Georgia Tech at a Panhandle strip club and ran up an American Express bill totaling $53,000 - more than five semesters of out-of-state tuition at the school. When his dad saw the bill, he called authorities and complained the club took advantage of his son.
So if you need a little laugh, come bask in the Sun-Shine State...
It's a state of mind.....
:roll::roll: