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Early Friday morning I decided I needed a little break so I called Mickey the Nose to see if he wanted to take a ride to Pennsylvania. He couldn't, so what the heck I went alone. I was on the road, fully fueled and loaded at 9am heading to the Alleghany river area of northwest Pa.
The AAA suggested route goes from Hick City to Cincy to Columbus to Akron to I 80. See the below story as to why my suggested route is to cut east at Columbus and go through the top sliver of West Va up past Pittsburg and up to I 80.
Good reason to cut off as much of OhiO as you can, It’s a Phucking Highway Police State.
Just over the line into Cincy there was a motorcycle cop with hand held radar working. Just past the downtown area there was 3 Cincy cops lined up in a row likes wolves waiting to pounce on the next jackrabit to come hopping down the trail. This row must have had seven in it a few minutes earlier as I counted 4 Cincy cops giving out tickets withing a half minute. Before I get to the Kings Island area there are 2 more “multi” cop staging areas. I also saw a few more motorcycle cops working with Radar and a few lone wolves stalking.
I’m not sure just what their level of tolerance is as I made it though the valley of the shadow of the red & blue lights unticketed.
After Cincy came the OphuckinghiO Highway Patrol. Geeze these phucks are like flies on a fresh pile. You’d see one parked with radar going and two or three with people pulled over ever couple of minutes. They even have radar units permanently mounted on overhead beams on the Interstates.
From Cincy to Columbus I know I saw 30 cops working and it wasn’t even noon time. This is when I decided to change my route (as noted above)
Columbus wasn’t too bad, just a half dozen on the ring road. I headed due east to W Va, nice drive if you like another 30+ Red & Blue Wolves waiting to pounce. I got to Quaker City OhiO (my favorite OhiO town), pulled in and took a rest at the Royal Adult Porno Shop and Adult Movie house. Only in OhiO do the Quakers have a Porno Shop.
I got through W Va and into Pa with no problems. No cops in W Va, I saw 3 Pa cops over a three hour drive.
I got my SUV loaded with beer in St Mary’s and headed back westward on the back roads heading to Oil City, not one cop. Found my old amigo Homer who was slowly falling off the face of our flat earth. The ole boy is in his Mid 70s and he’s all heartbroken as his 40 yo wife had finally left him. It was good riddance to a sluttish scuzz bag as far as I’m concerned but Homer is still broke up. We rubbed peckers and sniffed each other asses for a while and after a pep talk and some old war stories Homer was all perked up. As I left his last words were “Fuck um, there all whores, cept for mom and dad argues about that when he’s drunk.”
I took the same route back, by now it’s getting quite late on Friday evening, the beginning of Labor Day weekend. I see a few Pa cops working but not many. Got through W Va and into eastern OphuckinghiO where again the Police Convention is in full swing. How the phuck does OhiO afford so many cops, cars, gas and red & blue light roof top units?
I stayed in Cambridge, nice little place. Saturday morning I head back, Yep, them Mfers are still out in force. Before sun up I see a dozen before I get to Columbus. The Ring road wasn’t too bad, just 3 or 4.
From Columbus to Cincy I saw just 15 cops but it was just 830am. I hit Cincy around 10am and saw over 15 cops working.
I yumped de boorder into Hillbilly Heaven and headed to Hick City on I 71. Saw 3 Ky State Troopers working.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen any place else with as many cops per miles as I do in OhiO. Help me out, am I off base here orjust shell shocked?
Shamas O’Dognasty

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Shamas O'Dognasty
Gourmet Catering & Septic Tank Cleaning