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Relationship advice from a Pompous Old Bachelor
https://forum.costaricaticas.com/viewtopic.php?f=16&t=18401		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Tman [ Mon Jul 30, 2007 3:23 pm ]
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Pacifica...I applaud and concur that this is the best scenario for successful "cruising" through life in a relationship. I think the only problem with this is that some of us Males (formerly trained for being "Captains" of our ships) have lost the will or "testesterone" to run the ship (their own lives) and have given up command to the "Executive Officer". Some have done this "willingly" in order to avoid a mutiny due to bad leadership. Others just have never been up to the responsibility in the first place...either by lack of training or bad examples of previous captains in their family trees. Hopefully threads like this one can help some "captains" wake up and steer the ship before it is too late and they find themselves broke and "shipwrecked"... :shock:
Author:  Mia2Ewr [ Mon Jul 30, 2007 4:41 pm ]
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From a pompous young bachelor, respectfully, to a self described pompous old bachelor, "Well said!!" :P
Author:  Dave [ Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Relationship advice from a Pompous Old Bachelor
I am not at my best typing today.

Have a Great Day,

Dave
Author:  Dave [ Tue Jul 31, 2007 12:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Relationship advice from a Pompous Old Bachelor
Pacifica55 wrote:
In my opinion, most guys lose it when they accept the "women are equals and relationships e a democracy" horseshit.


I agree wholeheartedly with the general texture of your post. I believe one of the biggest problems is that men do not communicate well at all in relationships. I believe that most women would love to be Executive Officers but are not given the opportunity because it is not explained to them in a reasonable manner.

For instance, the wording of the above statement. Whereas, I understand the idea, the wording would be offensive if communicated like that. CO's and XO's are equal but they have different functions and jobs. Most XO's are aspiring to be CO's.

BTW, I believe that this should be moved to Sexual, Etc as this is real info and not smack talk.

Very well written and right on point.

Have a Great Day,

Dave
Author:  Tman [ Tue Jul 31, 2007 1:26 pm ]
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Like Dave says...communication is the key...and lets face it, many men have not developed very well in that department. Many of our fathers werent good at it either...so maybe that is part of the reason. So some guys get relegated to be "yes dear" types versus stating direction or their needs. Being a successful "Captain" is more than giving orders and demanding respect. It is more about presence and attitude of being in control and a source of direction/authority. Its BEING the role versus acting the role of "head of household". One can be sensitive and a communicator without giving up the position of Captain. We all have seen the differences between managers or bosses in business. Some wear their authority on their sleeve and need to be reveered and respected, often covering up low esteem or ego issues. Others "earn" their role by taking charge and caring about their staffs. I think it is the same way in families and relationships. We have to be strong...but sensitive...leaders.
Author:  Ron Medellin [ Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:01 pm ]
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This analogy works very well for me. During my teenage years, I worked as the second helper on a party boat, I was mainly helping out folks and cleaning... stuff. Well, after a few weeks, the guy ahead of me broke his hand and could help the newbies put bait on the hooks... I was immediately promoted to "Master Baiter" :shock: :shock: :shock:

Agree Agree Agree... Communication and setting the tone up front...

The funny part is I am CONSTANTLY asked how I am single, from every woman I meet in NYC, coworkers, superiors, Mom (not dad surprisingly), and pretty much anyone who thinks they know what they are talking about. I am an excellent communicator but I would even bother trying to explain this to the average person...

From a pompous young bachelor, Saludos!

PS - Nice signature photo, I wonder where she bought those socks :shock:
Author:  Rio4Me4Ever [ Tue Jul 31, 2007 9:15 pm ]
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Ron medellin said:
Quote:
PS - Nice signature photo, I wonder where she bought those socks

I didn't even notice the socks :D

Magnum XL
Author:  Witling [ Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:39 pm ]
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Pacifica55,
Very well said.
I love the CO/XO analogy (even though I am retired Air Force).
I've often thought of marriage in the same way I just didn't think of it in those terms.

Now if we can just get the chicas to go through basic training we'll be all set.
Author:  Haywood Jablommi [ Thu Aug 02, 2007 4:33 pm ]
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Very good points.
The irony is that women , once taking control and becoming captain over the supplicating husbands, never respect the man again.
They respect the man who acts like a man. That doesnt mean being abusive but putting your foot down. They need that and you can see it in most cultures around the world.
American men are mostly raised by women and dont know how to be men anymore. women are afriad to be feminine for fear of being seen as weak.
After returning last week from CR the main thing I noticed is how much less feminene the women in the US are compared to ticas.
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