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Confessions of a Man
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Author:  Tman [ Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Confessions of a Man
Confessions of a Man...
(Translation from Colombia newspaper)

I had never understood why the sexual needs between men and women are so different. I never understood all this idiocy of women being from Venus and the men from Mars. And I never understood why men think with their head and the women with their hearts.

But, one night, my wife and I went to bed. And well, we started caressing, and the inevitable occurred...when I was ready at this moment, she told me: "Right now I don't feel like making love, and I only want you to hold me!" (This she said with a cynical face...) I said! WHHAAATT???" Then she told me those magical words of all women: "You don't know how to connect with my emotional needs as a woman".

F---K ME! Finally, the object of the night was not to fight, hide the aphrodisiac oils, put out the candles, turn off the CD of Alejandro Sanz, put away the champagne. I took a cold icy shower to see if I could calm the "beast" and put on the Discovery channel on TV, at full volume so the daughter of my mother-in-law could not sleep.

The next day we went shopping, we entered a department store, I went to see some watches while she tried on 3 expensive dresses. Like a woman, she could not decide between one or the other, I said take all three. Then she told me she would need 3 pairs of shoes at $150 each pair, to which I answered it sounds fine. After we went to the sportswear department and left with some jackets with feathers and a Louis Vuitton purse, or some imitation of them. SHE WAS SO EXCITED! I think she thought I had gone crazy, but she brought them along. I think she was testing me when she asked for a very short skirt for playing tennis, when she doesn't know how to run, let alone play tennis.

Imagine the shock when I told her to buy everything that she wants. She was almost sexually excited after all this: lets go to the cashier to pay. It was here when, I apologize, we were only one person from paying, I said: "No my love, I believe right now I don't feel like buying all of this..." I wish you had seen her face, how pale it went when I said: "I only want you to hold me". She began to put on a face of such dismay, it paralyzed the left side of her body. I gave a nervous tic of the right eye and told her: "You don't know how to connect with the financial needs of a man"
Author:  Rio4Me4Ever [ Sun Jul 01, 2007 2:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
Touche!


Magnum XL


Being single is highly underrated!
Author:  Scubabum [ Sun Jul 01, 2007 11:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
You got me!!!!!!!!!!! I believed the whole story until the end.
Author:  Shamas [ Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:24 am ]
Post subject: 
:D
Shamas
Author:  Idiono [ Mon Jul 02, 2007 4:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Great story, and how true! :lol:
Author:  Mia2Ewr [ Mon Jul 02, 2007 12:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Right on!!
Author:  Jim Witkowski [ Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:21 pm ]
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You've got to keep an eye on the ladies in the states. They will milk you for every dime. My last girlfriend wanted me to pay for plastic surgery on her nose! I told her to get bent! :lol:
Author:  Mia2Ewr [ Tue Jul 03, 2007 2:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
You got to watch them wherever you go. :twisted:
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