I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track of time chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that magic.
"Wow!" I said. "I don't know if I could keep pace with you now. I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me..."
She just giggled and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge.
"Yeah" I said, "just so long as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these days..."
She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover. "Anyway," she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"
So I told her to Phuck off and hung up.
a few years ago 
Dam how could she let herself go like that. 