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A drunken man walks into a biker bar ...
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Author:  Ace [ Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:52 pm ]
Post subject:  A seal walks into a bar

A seal walks into a bar and the bartender asks him, "What can I get ya?" The seal says,"Anything but Canadian Club on ice"

Author:  Ace [ Sun Oct 01, 2006 8:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Cat Cafe

While trying to avoid Operation Last Call in Texas, last night I staggered into my bar, the Black pu*sy Cat Cafe, and demanded a beer. The bartender informed me that he was not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons.

After a few harsh words from me, the bartender suggested to me that I prove I wasn't drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor.

As I was doing the push-ups, another drunk staggered into the bar and saw me on the floor doing push-ups.

He looked at me for a minute and then kicked me in the ribs saying, "Fella, I think your girl friend has gone home."

Oh the shame.

Author:  Ace [ Sun Oct 01, 2006 9:05 pm ]
Post subject:  the Cowboy

A Cowboy walks into a bar and two steps in, he realizes it's a gay bar, "but what the heck," he says to himself, "I really want a drink."

When the gay waiter approaches, he says to the Cowboy, "What's the name of your penis?" The Cowboy says, "Look, I'm not into any of that. All I want is a drink."

The gay waiter says, "I'm sorry but I can't serve you until you tell me the name of your penis. Those are the rules. Mine for instance is called NIKE for the slogan "Just Do It". "That guy down at the end of the bar calls his SNICKERS because "It really satisfies".

The Cowboy looks dumbfounded so the bartender tells him he will give him a second to think it over.

So the Cowboy asks the man sitting to his left, who is sipping on a beer, "Hey bud, what's the name of yours'?" The man looks back and says with a smile, "TIMEX". The thirsty Cowboy asks, "Why TIMEX?" The fella' proudly replies, "'Cause it takes a lickin' and keeps on tickin'!"

A little shaken, the Cowboy turns to the fella' on his
right, who is sipping a fruity margarita and says, "So, what do you call yours'?" The man turns to him and proudly exclaims, "FORD because Quality is Job One." Then he adds, "Have you driven a Ford lately?"

Even more shaken, the Cowboy has to think for a moment before he comes up with a name for his manhood.

Finally, he turns to the bartender and exclaims, "The name of my penis is SECRET. Now give me a beer!"

The bartender begins to pour the Cowboy a beer, but with a puzzled look asks, "Why Secret?"

The Cowboy answers, "Because it's STRONG ENOUGH FOR A MAN BUT MADE FOR A WOMAN!!"

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