www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Smart Ass Answer #5:
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate
to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her
hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed
at her. Without missing a beat....she said,
"Sir, I need to see your ticket not your stub."





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Smart Ass Answer #4:
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the
grocery store, but she couldn't find one big enough
for her family. She asked a stock boy,
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."

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Smart Ass Answer #3:
The cop got out of his car and the K*D who was
stopped for speeding rolled down his window.
"I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said.
The K*D replied,
"Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could."
When the cop finally stopped laughing,
he sent the K*D on his way without a ticket.

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Smart Ass Answer #2:
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that
reads, "Low Bridge Ahead." Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead
of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to
the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says, "Got stuck, huh?"
The truck driver says, "No, I was delivering this bridge and ran out of gas."

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#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2005.......................




A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here
tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness,
or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand and asked,
"What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from
complete and uttersexual exhaustion?"
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly
at the student, shaking her head and sweetly said
"Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand."

_________________
Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

When I was 18 I worked at liquor store for a summer with two young guys, a 75 year old retired guy who worked in the backroom and maybe had uttered two words all summer, and very good looking gringa who worked the front register was a bitch from hell and thought she was all that.

One day the two young guys were talking about hookers and I was listening. One said something to the other about a quarter and the girl up front interrupted and said "I wouldn't even let you smell it for a quarter!". The two younger guys and myself quickly shut up embarrassed that she had heard. When the old man in the back who never spoke yelled "why should I pay you a quarter when I can smell that shit all the way back here for free!"

The two guys and myself laughed until we cried. The girl turned bright red and threatened to have us all fired. Since I was only working for the summer and was going back to school 3 days from I told her to go ahead and tell everyone about her stinky pu*sy.

I saw her about twenty years later at the mall and still started laughing and she again turned bright red.


Xman