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A guy is 81 years old and loves to fish. He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, "Pick me up."
He looked around and couldn't see any one. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, "Pick me up." He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.
The man said, "Are you talking to me?"
The frog said, "Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up. Then, kiss me and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll then give you more sexual pleasure that you ever could have dreamed of."
The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully, and placed it in his front breast pocket.
Then the frog said, "What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said? I said kiss me and I will give you sexual pleasures like you have never had."
He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, "Nah, at my age I'd rather have a talking frog."

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one
of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in
the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be
in the third-grade too!" Ms Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to
the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained
to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks
he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a
third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her,
"I think Harry can go to the third-grade."

Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only
two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not
have?"
Harry: "Pockets."

Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Ms Brooks: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is
hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut"

Ms Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop
the answer, Harry was taking charge - "Bubblegum"

Ms Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting
down and a dog do on three legs?"
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop
the answer, Harry responds: "Shake hands"

Ms Brooks: "Now I will ask some 'Who am I' sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yep."

Ms Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to
get me up. I get wet before you do."
Harry: "Tent"

Ms Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored.
The best man always has me first."
The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense.
Harry: "Wedding Ring"

Ms Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you
blow me, you feel good."
Harry: "Nose"

Ms Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver."
Harry: "Arrow"

Ms Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"


The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong
myself."

Hand-Solo wrote



Handy,

Old old joke and obviously pre=viagra.