www.CostaRicaTicas.com

Great joke. Keep'm coming, Brother PR

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"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

The new most fav cocktail in the world is



2 shots and a splash of salt water!

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RideAllTheRides

Male Sensitivity



The room was full of pregnant women with their partners. The class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breath and was telling the men how to give the necessary assurance to their partners at this stage of the pregnancy.

She said “Ladies, remember that exercise is good for you. Walking is
especially beneficial. It strengthens the pelvic muscles and will make
delivery that much easier.” Just take several stops and stay on a soft
surface like grass or a path.

She looked at the men in the room, “and Gentlemen, remember You’re in this together It wouldn’t hurt you to go walking with her.

The room suddenly got very quiet as the men absorbed this information.

Then a man at the back of the room slowly raised his hand.

“Yes, answered the Instructor.

“I was just wondering if it would be all right if she carries a golf bag while
we walk??

This kind of sensitivity just can’t be taught.

Fun Fact for the day..............

The first testicular guard, the "cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.

That means it only took 100 years for us men to realize that our brain is also important.

We have got to stop joking about the rapture like there is no tomorrow?!?!?!?!

An old guy (not in the best of shape) was working out in the gym when
he spotted a sweet young thing. He asked the trainer that was nearby,
"What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet young thing
over there?"
·
The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I'd try the ATM in the
lobby."

GOLF ON FRIDAYS

Eileen and her husband Bob went for counseling after 25 years of marriage.

When asked what the problem was, Eileen went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.


Finally, after allowing this to go on for a sufficient length of time, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and after asking Eileen to stand, embraced her, unbuttoned her blouse and bra, put his hands on her breasts and massaged them thoroughly, while kissing her passionately as her husband Bob watched with a raised eyebrow!


Eileen shut up, buttoned up her blouse, and quietly sat down while basking in the glow of being highly aroused.

The therapist turned to Bob and said, 'This is what your wife needs at least three times a week.. Can you do this?'

Bob thought for a moment and replied, 'Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf.

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Why settle for just one woman when you can enjoy them all?

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Pura Vida
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four
essential food groups:
alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex Levine

A man walks into his bedroom and sees his wife packing a suitcase.

He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to New York . I heard prostitutes there get paid $400 an hour for doing what I do for you for free."
A little later, on her way out, the wife walks past the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he is going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800 a year."

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before the final match, the Irish wrestler's trainer came to him and said 'Now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'pretzel' hold he has. Whatever you do, do not let him get you in that hold! If he does, you're finished.
The Irishman nodded in acknowledgment.


As the match started, the Irishman and the Russian circled each other several times, looking for an opening. All of a sudden, the Russian lunged forward, grabbing the Irishman and wrapping him up in the dreaded pretzel hold. A sigh of disappointment arose from the crowd and the trainer buried his face in his hands, for he knew all was lost.. He couldn't watch the inevitable happen.


Suddenly, there was a Long, High Pitched Scream, then a cheer from the crowd and the trainer raised his eyes just in time to watch the Russian go flying up in the air. His back hit the mat with a thud and the Irishman collapsed on top of him, making the pin and winning the match.


The trainer was astounded. When he finally got his wrestler alone, he asked 'How did you ever get out of that hold? No one has ever done it before!'


The wrestler answered 'Well, I was ready to give up when he got me in that hold but at the last moment, I opened my eyes and saw this pair of testicles right in front of my face. I had nothing to lose so with my last ounce of strength, I stretched out my neck and bit those Babi*s just as hard as I could.'


The trainer exclaimed 'That's what finished him off?'

'Not really. You'd be amazed how strong you get when you bite your own nuts.

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my first wingman sent me this, how true

" most of the girls down here, lie as a self defense mechanism and to not have to face the truth, thinking most men couldn't accept them knowing the whole truth. Simpler, they may just want men to think they are as perfect as they want to appear to them, trying to hide what they consider to be the ugly truth about themselves. And I may be reading more into it than is there, but I do believe they consider the basis of the lies to be justified."

An anthropologist decides to investigate the natives of a far-flung tropical island. He flew there, found a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site where he would make his collections. About noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. Being a city boy by nature, the anthropologist was disturbed by this. He asked the guide, "What are those drums?"

The guide turned to him and said "Drums OK, but VERY BAD when they stop."

Then, after some hours, the drums suddenly stopped! This hit the anthropologist like a ton of bricks, and he yelled at the guide: "The Drums have stopped, what happens now?"

The guide crouched down, covered his head with his hands and said, "Bass Solo".

Can someone decode this for me. Sorry I must have taken my stupid pill by mistake this morning?

It is a musician thing, to imply that a Bass solo is not a pleasant thing to hear.

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It is cheaper to pay now and get it over with.
It is also easier to get them to leave.

Ha! Try telling that to Ray Brown's fans. I think that because they are so low-pitched, the sounds of the bass aren't heard as much as felt...and the ground would distribute the sound/feeling better than the air. But then I've been mistaken before.

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

+1

I think the joke was implying a bass drum solo.
It wasn't my joke.

_________________
It is cheaper to pay now and get it over with.
It is also easier to get them to leave.