www.CostaRicaTicas.com

There's nothing worse than a snotty doctor's receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong in a room full of other patients.

I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.

The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that."

"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others, if the answer could embarrass anyone."

The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.

The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"

"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"

"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.

The doctor's office erupted in laughter.
-----------

There's your Friday afternoon chuckle.

Pedro was trying to get into the U.S. legally through Immigration. The
Officer said "Pedro, you have passed all the tests, except there is one
more test. Unless you pass it you cannot enter the U.S."

Pedro said, " I am ready."

The officer said "Make a sentence using Yellow, Pink and Green."

Pedro thought for a few minutes and said "Mister Officer, I am ready."
The Officer said "Go ahead."


Pedro said "The telephone goes green, green, green, and I pink it
up, and say, "Yellow, this is Pedro."

Needless to say, Pedro now lives in a neighborhood near you

One hot day a couple of nunns were working in the vatican. Its was extremely hot so the nunns were working in the nude. There was a quiet knock at the door, the nunn went to the door " who is it " ask the nunn, " the blind man " was the response, the nunns looked at each other and thought, why get dressed, after all, he is blind. the nunns opened the door and the guy walks in and says" hey, nice tits, now were do you want the blinds hung.

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership to browse, and spotted the most beautiful, perfect loaded Lexus and walked over to inspect it closer. As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected little burst of flatulence escaped her. Very embarassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed.

Sure enough, there standing behind her was a salesman. With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madam. How may we help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though nothing had happened, she smiled back and asked, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely vehicle?" Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madam, I'm very sorry to say! If you farted just touching it, you're gonna sh*t when you hear the price."

A wife, arriving home from a shopping trip, was horrified to find
her husband in bed with a lovely young woman. Just as the wife was
about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words:

Before you leave, I want you to hear how all this came about...
Driving home along the highway, I saw this young woman looking tired
and bedraggled, so I brought her home and made her a meal from the
roast beef you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.

She had only some worn sandals on her feet, so I gave her a pair of
good shoes you had discarded because they had gone out of style.
She was cold so I gave her a sweater I bought you for your birthday
that you never wore because the color didn't suit you..

Her pants were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that were
perfectly good, but too small for you now.

Then, when she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked:
"Is there anything else your wife doesn't use anymore?"

It's not difficult.
To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly

45. love shopping

46. be honest

47. be very rich

48. not stress her out

49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention,
but expect little yourself

51. give her lots of time,
especially time for herself

52. give her lots of space, never worrying about
where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. to never forget:

* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
--------

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:

1. Screw him

2. Feed him

3. Shut the Phuck up.

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

Had never heard "Brooklyn Tony jokes before; kind of like "little Johnny" jokes I guess.





Brooklyn Tony ON MATH The teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Brooklyn Tony.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then Brooklyn Tony says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Brooklyn Tony replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

Brooklyn Tony ON MATH

Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father.

The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'" replies TONY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the phucking difference ?" asks the father.

"That's what I said!"


Brooklyn Tony ON ENGLISH

Brooklyn Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

TONY says "Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Brooklyn Tony, that's a mouthful."

Little TONY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR

Brooklyn Tony was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden, he needed to go to the bathroom. He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!"

The teacher replied, "Now, TONY, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate'. Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Brooklyn Tony, thinks for a bit, and then says, "You're an eight, but if you had bigger tits, you'd be a TEN!"

Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice.

First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully."

She said, "Excellent, Michael!"

Then the teacher reluctantly called on Brooklyn Tony.

"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just phucking beautiful!' "



Brooklyn Tony ON GETTING OLDER

Brooklyn Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Brooklyn Tony replied, "You know, my grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

Brooklyn Tony answered, "No, he minded his own phucking business."



Pax,
Sluthog

There were 3 men working on a job. One was an Irish Paddy, One was a british Paddy. And the last an English Man. The boss saids at lunch time that he has to go back to the office to do some paperwork.
About ten minutes latter the english man says to the english paddy lets go down to the pub and have a pint. He says thats a good idea! They turn to the irish paddy to see if he wants to come. The irish paddy says no! That just two weeks ago he got married to the most beautifull woman and that he wants to spend every free miniute with her. So they head off the pub and him home.
Upon arriving and opening the front door he hears alot of groaning and banging going on upstairs. So he quietly goes up not disturbe anyone and finds the forman going at with his wife. So! He quietly goes down stairs and out the front door.
The next day at work sure enough the forman at lunch says he has to go back to the office and do paper work. Now this time he tells the guys that he knows that they left early and didn't do any work. Cause nothing got done, So the guys would have to continue working.
The guys go sure Boss we will work. About ten minutes after the boss leaves the english man says to the english paddy. Lets go down to the pub and have a pint. The english paddy says thats a great idea cause I had a great time yesterday. Well the irish paddy coughs and ask can I go with you ? The guys go, We thought you'd want to go home to your young wife. The Irish paddy says I do, But the forman allmost caught me off the job yesterday.

Q. What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn't?
A. A navel.

Q. How do you make your wife scream while having sex?
A. Call her and tell her.

Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
A. Because women wouldn't do them if they were called cunt scrapes.

Q. Why do schools in Tennesee only have Drivers Ed two days a week?
A. Because they need their cars for Sex Ed the other three days a week.

Q. Three words to ruin a man's ego...
A. "Is it in?"

Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

Q. What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann and the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
A. A red headed bitch with a yeast infection.

Q. Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
A. When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.


And here's Latinoheats gringa GF doing her aerobics at his apartment-
http://www.killsometime.com/video/video ... y-Aerobics

_________________

Living well is the best revenge
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwUtj_YnNoY

One day, a blonde and a brunette were out for a ride in the blonde's new car.

Suddenly, some jerk pulls in front of them.

The blonde then puts her lips on the steering wheel.

The brunette feared for her life, but had the courage to ask, "What are you doing?!"

The blonde calmly replied, "I'm trying to blow the horn."

Mommy takes little Johnny to the zoo. As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection. "What's that, Mummy!?" asks Johnny. "Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on. A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?" he asks. "That, son, is the elephant's penis." replied his father. "Mommy said it was nothing," Johnny said. "Well, your mother's spoiled, Son."


Little Johnny asked his Dad, "Why does a woman close her eyes during sex?"
"She hates to see a man having a good time."


Little Johnny's Dad sees him sitting with his head down. He heads over to talk to him, "Hey Johnny, is something wrong?"
"Yeah,... I'm really depressed"
"Why, what's the matter?"
"I caught my girlfriend in bed with my best friend."
"Wow, that's terrible. What did you do?"
"I dragged her out of the bed and told her it's over."
"So what did you do with your best friend?"
"I sat him down...tied him up...looked him straight in the eye...and said...Bad Dog!


The teacher in Johnny's school asked the class what their parents did for a living. "Mary, what does your parents do?"
Lil' Mary replied "My dad is a lawyer and my mummy is a nurse."
"That's very nice," said the teacher," Robert, what do your parents do?"
Robert proudly exclaimed ,"My dad is a policeman and my mom is a teacher!"
"That's very nice," said the teacher ,"Johnny, what do your parents do?"
He stood up and pronounced, "My dad's dead and my mom's a whore." Naturally, after that remark, he got sent off to the principal's office. 10 minutes later, he returned.
"Did you tell the principal what you said in class?" asked the teacher. Johnny replied, "Yes, he said that in our economy every job is important, gave me an apple and asked for my phone number."

An older man approached an attractive younger woman at a shopping mall.
'Excuse me; I can't seem to find my wife. Would you talk to me for a few minutes?'

The woman, feeling a bit of compassion for the old fellow, said, 'Of course, sir. Do you know where your wife might be?'
'I have no idea, but every time I talk to a younger woman with tits like yours, the bitch seems to appear out of nowhere.'

To get to Brother PacoLoco's video, punch in the link, go to "Sort Alpha", go to P.3, then look for "Aerobics". It's almost worth all that work.

_________________
"A man accustomed to hear only the echo of his own sentiments, soon bars all the common avenues of delight, and has no part in the general gratification of mankind"--Dr. Johnson
"Amen, brother"-ED

A Blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says: "Two Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident."

The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing "That's horrible!!! So many men dying that way!"
Confused, he says, "Yes dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved."

After a few minutes, the blonde, still sobbing, says, "How many is a Brazilian?"

_________________
Why settle for just one woman when you can enjoy them all?

PR,

I am truly hurt that you haven't been following my post on the fluctuating Brazilian Real. Had you been following the thread, you would have seen that Paco beat you to the punch!

https://costaricaticas.com/phpBB2/viewto ... 5&start=15

Ciaociao